He went back to our country for the summer but doesn't call me often

[wai]

Hi ENA,

 

My boyfriend of 6 months went back to our country for the summer because his dad health condition is getting worse and the doctors said he only has 6 months to live. He hates his dad because his dad left his mom when he was about 11. After he went back, whenever he calls, I asked him about his dad condition and he acted like he doesn't care. Couple of months ago, his uncle who he lives with went back to our country too and he told me proudly how many girls his uncle banged. That what's making me really paranoid. He calls me or come online on messenger every day or every other day and also said how much he misses me. He introduced me to his mom. He called my parents too to introduce himself. I never initiated the call because in the past with my ex, I got hurt pretty bad and I'm scared of being needy. So I always try not to initiate contacts. he mentioned about it yesterday and I acted like I was busy. In fact, I'm not that busy but it's my insecurity. I don't want him or nobody thinks that I'm needy. He also said his mom asked him why I haven't called him. Now he hasn't been online nor called me since yesterday. I also know that he's been out with his friends and drinking the past few days. I don't know if he's not calling me on purpose just to make me initiates contacts or if he's really busy. Honestly, I don't want to initiate contact. Tell me what you guys think.

[CatsMeeoow]

OK - but look at it from his perspective too...

 

The two of you don't talk very often... YOU never initiate calls... YOU tell him you are very busy (though you are not but how he is to know the truth?)...

 

If I were him I'd be questioning - what your doing, why don't you think of me enough to call, if you are so busy then maybe you are seeing someone behind my back, why should I put more effort in it than you are?

 

You may have been "too needy" in your last relationship but relationships end due to perceived indifference (which is what you are showing by your actions) as well.

 

Relationships are a two way street - call him up and let him know you were thinking about him. Ask about his dad but realize there is a lot of history and hurt there and he may not be one to open up about it simply because he still hasn't processed his emotions over the whole thing but that still doesn't stop you from being supportive of his situation. Guys need to feel supported in a relationship too... it doesn't mean just talking about his dad... but your day and well frankly being honest... telling him false reports of what you are doing is a sure fire way to sink trust in a relationship.

 

I think you need to look at your own actions and ask if you would like to be treated in such a way... Treat your bf as you would like him to treat you.

 

Good Luck