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Pregnant..>father is married


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Hi evryone,I was reading this morning a thread more or less similar with mine >>but I just want to ask for ur advice .

I knew he`s married from the beginning of the relation,didnt care for a while but then everything change...He dosen love he s wife,I know for sure cuz` he was spending all his time with me,including nights.I got preganant did an abortion,and after 2month we broke up...then I found out I m pregnant again.He dosent want to be with me anymore,he said he ll take his responsability but till now he didnt do anything ..Im 5months.He has a child with his wife,he got married with her because of the baby(he s living in a muslim country).Now I had to go back to my parents and he s not giving any sign,he ask for an address and thats it...he s actually going out with another girl.i know was wrong getting involve ith a married men...its too late now for regrets...But i cant stop hopeing that he will change his mind and eventually everything will be fine with us...he told me that because of his religion he cannot tell me to make an abortion,but its wrong what im doing...the saddes part is..that because of how much im suffering for him...i m not taking care of me..and i m not that sure i can take care of the baby on my own...really need some suport here..

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Unfortunately I got no sweet lies to comfort you. So screw religion, yes I said it. Get abortion if you want and stop hoping he will change. There are millions of girls, he's after whatever he's after and you're just one of a million. Sad but true....


.. come to think of it. It's not even sad, you should rejoice at the opportunity of having a great new life whatever way you will design it. If you design it, that is.

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Please stop thinking that this man will run back to you. He told you what you wanted to hear so you would have sex with him. There are two other options besides abortion. You can put the child up for adoption. There are many couples who have tried to have children and have not been able to, and would love nothing more than to adopt an infant or young child. Or, you can raise the child yourself. The thing is - you are *not* really "suffering for him" completely. You made the choice to have unprotected sex. Even if you had the poor judgement to choose a married man, after one abortion I would assume that you would insist on a condom, get yourself on the pill or an IUD or even use spermicide. In many ways, you set yourself up to suffer rather than being a victim here. You are at least 50% at fault minimally.

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i decided already that i ll keep the baby,but I would never imagine having a child like this.. with no moral support from him.I think,that i just have to cope with the fact that i ll be a single mom,and here is the diffilcult part for me ..the feeling that my life its falling apart... for the moment..i know that in a few month i ll be stronger,but right know i just cannot believe its happening to me.

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Stop thinking about him, he won t come back, and why would you want him back anyway, the kid won t change his mind either, he already have one, so...

But you have a life to live and another life to take care of... So be strong, be responsible for your actions and be there for your baby, you will see when he/she will born you will find the power to go on and you won t even think of his father any more...

I know it is hard for you right now, it is hard to figure out everything of your own, but trust me, if you do the right thing, like just raising your kid, instead of keep doing mistakes you will have a chance to really be happy one day... just focus on repairing things, on building a life for you and for your baby instead of repeating your mistakes...

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Painful lesson to be learned... You really need to work hard to take care of yourself... its not just you now its the baby too!


This guy wanted anyone who wasn't his wife. Just because he didn't want his wife doesn't mean he wants you. He was already saddled with a woman he got pregnant why would he sign up for round two? You were an escape from his life with her but this was never about what you wanted... it was only about him.


Sadly you were easily replaced once things got complicated - your pregnant and you wanted more from him... that's not what he wanted.


Remember this... so that in the future you don't fall into bed with men who are not available to you.


I wish you and your baby the best. Single parenting is often what many of us didn't want but you know its not a bad thing either. I wouldn't have traded it for anything - you're blessed.

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