How to tell ex I want a break from our online business?

[charlieyost]

Hello,

 

My ex girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago. We had a plan to go to Hong Kong for her birthday as well as a business trip to get stocks for our online store in July. I apologized and told her that I can't go on the trip with her anymore. She said she understands, it is okay and that she is sorry.

 

Now I am thinking if I still wanna stay as business partners with her. It is really tough for me right now. We will have to meet for photo shoots, packing, meetings with other brands and stuff. But I don't think I wanna see her any time soon. I know it will be selfish and unprofessional of me to just leave because of our break up, but I really can't bring myself to see her as a friend yet and to work together.

 

How do I let her know that I am not in the right state to handle our business with her now. I don't want to sound sour because of our break up. I know she will understand (she always says that), but at the same time I don't wanna disappoint her. She told me that it is our baby project and she really hopes that our store will go far (her exact words).

 

What should I do?

[abitbroken]

It is very difficult to start a business with a girlfriend, spouse, etc - esp if they become an ex. There are businesses that thrive and become family businesses, but they destroy relationships if there is not a good work/life balance. I would say - be honest. Right now, you cannot be a friend or business partner to her. its too raw. Businesses often break up for reasons of a personal matter - friends who became business partners don't get along anymore, someone marries or has medical problems. Was this business her idea, yours, etc? I would do one of a few things 1) Tell her the business is on hold for now. Because of the breakup, you both need to take a breather from eachother and revisit at another time. 2) Tell her that you would like to be bought out. 3) Start your own thing. Don't worry about disappointing her. You have to do what is best for you, but read any contracts that you signed.

[charlieyost]

Hello abitbroken, Thanks for your reply (:

 

Yeah I know I should be honest. But I do want to work with her. She had a project with her ex boyfriend before me. But the guy took everything from her, saying mean things like I started the idea blahblah. But I will not do that. I know she really wants this business more than I do. I don't mind letting her have it though deep down I do wanna keep with working. It is just that right now, I am not able to.

 

I sent her an email to tell her that I am not going HK with her anymore (trip was for her birthday and to buy stocks). She replied No it is ok, (my name). I understand. I'm sorry.

I didn't reply her cos I don't think there is a need to.

 

She just sent me another mail, Do you want me to go ahead with buying stuff for the store?

She is going to Hong Kong alone in July, she might be going with someone but I don't know and I don't wanna know.

What does she mean? I don't understand. Does she think I want out?

[abitbroken]

She seems to be thinking you are still involved and wants to know if she should go ahead with the plan in July without you. I think that you are more concerned with her fulfilling her dream than what you want to do. if she started a business with an ex boyfriend - this is a pattern she falls into If she wants the business more than you do, sign whatever papers you need to in order to get out of it. If you have the smarts, you can start a store on your own if that is what you want to do. I think that she is not taking no for an answer. This is her dream and she is going to do it and not consider the breakup. I think you need to get your head out of the former dream of having this "baby" together and very pragmatically see if this would be a good business move for you or not. remember - you will be tied to her completely if you continue this.

[charlieyost]

Yeah, there isn't any contract to this business. So I don't have to worry about breaching anything.

 

Honestly, she can have the business if she wants, I really don't mind at all. I just don't want her to have an impression that I am not professional in handling this. I think maybe after I have gotten over this breakup, I will be able to handle the business with her. It just that I can't do it with her right now. And I feel that it is selfish of me to let her handle all the work while I just maybe fork out money for the stocks. I know she wants to work together with me still, from the beginning, she wants to be friends with her after the breakup. But honestly it is really hard, and I have gone into NC for a few weeks, only emailing when it is business related.

 

I don't really know what to reply her. I'll take my time to think and ask for more advice I guess.

 

What do you mean when you say she is not taking a no for an answer?