LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 So I texted and called my ex when I was out last night, he was asleep but texted me this morning saying we could have coffee... I have not written back and don't know if I should? Just need some advice. thanks Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 *facepalm* NO! He is not good for you. He has anger issues. You two are not friends so there is no need to see each other. If he has something to say, ask him to put it in an email. Link to comment
toofaced12 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I just had coffee with my ex last week, and honestly it was such a bad decision. Sure it was great seeing him and catching up, but as soon as I left him I felt like I went a million steps back in my healing process. I regret seeing him, because I was doing really great, now not so much lol. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 haha *facepalm* thanks Drama for giving me a giggle. Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 You know I got your back, LN. The only way for you to heal is complete NC. There is no way around it. That's the only thing you need to know. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have not written back and don't know if I should? Why wouldn't you? You already contacted him once, why not go a second round? Are you trying to confuse him???? Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 I called him drunk I now don't think I should write back as I regret calling him last night... Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 You shouldn't be not calling him because you feel ashamed. You should be not in contact with him because you want to heal from someone that does not want to be with you. Until you make that decision then you are going to keep on making the same decisions and you are still going to stay in touch. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 He won't appreciate you playing games. You started it, and now he's asked you out for coffee. If you back-track then your going to look stupid. You should go and have that coffee. Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 He won't appreciate you playing games. You started it, and now he's asked you out for coffee. If you back-track then your going to look stupid. You should go and have that coffee. Um, no. She should be doing what is best for her healing, not what may or not confuse him. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Dylan he dumped me, besides I highly doubt the coffee is about reconciliation. Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 You don't even need to answer then. Or just say, "Sorry, we shouldn't be in touch anymore because I want to move on." Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Yes what Miss Lama said above. Oh and maybe you could say "Sorry for texting you, I was a bit drunk last night but it won't happen again" and then ignore the crap out of him when he tries to reply!!! Then you can go back to NC. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 DO you think txting something would be better or just silence... Drama you know what ive been going through, ughh Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Its simple. If he wanted to reconcile he'd tell you, he wouldn't suggest coffee. Trust me, nothing of that nature will be bought up at the coffee. I would reply and tell him sorry your not interested and that you appologize for calling him, it will not happen again. Than you can go no contact forever. Link to comment
Captainmidnigh Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 What did you text him? Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 SO I just wrote back. I said "hey how are you, coffee could be good?" He said "Im good I'm jsut heading up to x place" I said "how long are you going to x place for" He said "just tomorrow, do you want to come to my house wed or thurs" I said "no thanks, thought we were having coffee" he said "I can make instant" I said "I dont drink instant" and that was it... obviously he wanted sex, great stupid me. Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Considering he used you for sex under 2 weeks ago you should have seen this coming. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Well I read coffee, I thought he may have genuinely wanted to see how I was doing? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I don't think he used you for sex- you chose to have sex with him. If you want to continue to be emotionally attached to him -and risk getting even more attached, then meet him for coffee. Up to you. Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I don't think he used you for sex- you chose to have sex with him. If you want to continue to be emotionally attached to him -and risk getting even more attached, then meet him for coffee. Up to you. He doesn't want coffee, he wants her to go to his house for sex. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 he didn't use me, i wanted it that time. But when i wrote back today he seemed to just want me over at his house.... no coffee Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Well I read coffee, I thought he may have genuinely wanted to see how I was doing? Even if he did want to see how your doing, what does that achieve? Link to comment
LN1987 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 well it might've been nice if we could have been civil but instead I feel like he has no respect for me... As I said in the PM, I don't quite understand why/how he sees me in such a bad way now... It is very hurt full that even when I think he is being nice, it seems to be more about sex. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Well I read coffee, I thought he may have genuinely wanted to see how I was doing? If you want to -have sex with him, risk pregnancy and STDs, and risk more emotional attachment then you should see him and have sex with him if the sex is worth all those risks. I'm not sure where the confusion is. Link to comment
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