I think I still love him..

[Sunshin3]

I think I'm in love with an old friend.

In high school we were best friends and basically did everything together (not sexual), there was always chemistry and always a deep conection between us that scared me. We both had feelings for each other, but comparing them to my other high school relationships it was nothing like that. It felt very real and very.. like I loved him.

However, I had a boyfriend who lived in another province who I felt I needed to stay with..everyone, especially my best friend, knew this guy was wrong for me. But he knew it was better to support me than critizse me. After high school I moved out west to be with my then boyfriend. Best friend and I talked daily and kept in contact until boyfriend made me to stop talking to him. It was one of the hardest things to do, I was stuck.

 

5 months went by with not talking to best friend, I was really missing him so I messaged him and he had a girlfriend. He told me she didn't want him talking to me and that was it..he wished he could but he said me of all people could understand.

 

A year later I moved back home for resons I won't get into (boyfriend and I had a nasty breakup). I felt like I needed best friend more than anything. We hung out behind his girlfriends back, only as friends. She found out and now he hasn't spoken to me in three months.

 

I find myself thinking about him daily, missing him all the time and wishing I had of listened to him about leaving. I know if I didn't we would be together.

 

What should I do, should I contact him or let him be?

If it makes any difference I know he is unhappy in his relationship as he has expressed to me how much she controls him..but he loves her.

 

Another thing.. even if I did contact him she controls his cell phone and facebook.

[jayn-16]

Although you might love him, I think you are more lonely and not recovered from your previous break-up. It will be a bit selfish of you to contact him, and it will make matters worse for him. Just let him know you'll always be there and to contact you if he needs a good friend/companionship. You have to let him be and figure out stuff on his own. In the meantime, go out, meet friends and have some fun.

[Sunshin3]

Thanks I think your right. Just needed to hear it from someone else!