irishgerry Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 So today was interesting. I have been strict NC with the ex I work with for 28 days now. Her brothers wedding was this weekend which sort of caused the break up but I wont get into that. So im driving along and she texts me saying I know you prob dont want to hear from me but I just have to say the wedding was great but I missed you at it. I thought about not texting back but I;m feeling good these days so I did saying good to hear from you, glad it went well, hope you're well. She text me back then asking about my recent trip and I jsut said yeah had a great time thanks. I know people will say once you break NC you go back to day 1 but I'm still feeling good because I know I am nearly over her. Typical women must know when you are nearly over them and so they text you! Ah was nice to hear that she cared though. Cant see myself going back to her but I'm happy that it looks like I am making progress by not really caring much about the text! Link to comment
hausser Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Interesting dude. Don't blame you for texting back. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Hey man nothing wrong with talking to the ex once you feel good. Glad to gear you're doing well, hope it stays that way. Keep mind shell most likelybe texting you again Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 cheers lads, sure yeah we'll see if she initiates anything else. suppose she might be regretting her decision but at the same time she just might be doing it to get over the guilt so not going to read too much in to it. funny as well i just bumped in to her best mate on the way home from my folks. last time i bumped in to her mate i was a wreck when i got home. now i just feel fine! Link to comment
imonlyhuman Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 why do all of these reach-outs start with "i know you probably dont want to hear from me"? Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 well i was angry when we broke up and told her not to contact me so i presume thats why she said it. but yeah ive read a lot of threads here and its generally the same "dont want to hear from me". even though every dumper does want to hear from them if it means they will rekindle the relatioship! Link to comment
hausser Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Did you break up with her mate? Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 nope she broke up with me. basically shes a busy girl and always has something on so she felt she couldnt give me what i needed. also we work together and kept it a secret but she knew we couldnt do that forever, also freaked her out! this was her first serious relationship in about 10 years so i think she got scared as well. thats what im thinking anyways but sure who knows. think she just got in contact to see if i hated her or something so she could feel less guilty, or she regrets her decision. who knows, im not going to ask her anyways as i dont really care anymore. was still nice to hear from her though. oh and about an hour ago she started following me on twitter. luckily i just post my training schedule and havent put anything like my ex is such a **** stuff Link to comment
hausser Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Sounds like she regrets it man, im on day 18 now. I don't think shes gunna contact me anytime soon though! : ) Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 dude i never thought she would contact me, she was horrendous for communication when we went out with each other. you could get a text in 5 minutes or you could get one in 5 months. just weird like that. week 3 was tough for me, only this week i actually woke up going yeah i dont need this girl which was a good feeling. she probably sensed it and hence the text! Link to comment
hausser Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Interesting posts man. Do you want to reconcile? Link to comment
professorplum Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I sense you are not sure. If you do, give it some more time and see what else she does. There might be more to come and if you can be patient, that is probably the way to go. Keep us informed and good luck with whatever you decide. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 In better form now that I had a sleep on it. I might consider reconciling but I'm awful stubborn so the fact that she broke it up with me before would make me not want to go back, just for my pride! Secondly she'd have to changer a few things about herself for it to work, dont like asking people to change but if she wants me back she's going to have to. I'm not going to text her to initiate anything anyways and who knows she might not text me again. I'll keep you posted. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 why do all of these reach-outs start with "i know you probably dont want to hear from me"? THIS! I understand the OP said he was mad, and said not to contact her, but I have heard of exes saying this SO MUCH. Mine did this many times, and would always apologize. Once, when he texted me a few months ago after the first time in a long time he asked me how I was and then was like 'Sorry if I'm bothering you, just tell me to F off if I am' I don't get it....especially since he was the one who treated me crappy and made it seem like I was the one who was bothering him at the end....but that's a whole other story lol. But I don't know what it is with exes apologizing and acting like that? Link to comment
East4 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Congarts, Irish, you did well. It seems to me that your ex has some commitment issues if that was her first serious relationship in 10 years. Whatever you decide to do, be aware that the push/pull tactics are typical for the commitment phobes (in case she's one): when you get too close, they panic and find an excuse to break up with you, then they get lonely and scared that they've lost a good mate, and pull you back in, then they panic again, so on so forth. So, just be aware of this and as you said, if she wants you back, make her work on herself, else you will be in for another cycle. Of, course, it all depends on how you are wired, there are people out there who get excited of the push/pull, because they are addicted to the adrenaline rush, associated with strong emotions. Just a thought. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 This was exactly her! If I didnt speak to her she would get in touch where as if I did plan something for down the road she would get freaked out. So funny looking back at it now. I'm 29 in just over a week so I have no time for these games. If she does want to get back she will have to work on that, if she doesnt then it's her loss! Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 why do all of these reach-outs start with "i know you probably dont want to hear from me"? funnily enough that was EXACTLY the words my ex used when she first contacted me. Its just a tool to show they still have control over you. Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Also I guarantee you she is just sending you meaningless contact and she definitely does not want to get back together. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 yeah most likely but the fact that i was able to say no its great to hear from you etc rather then saying please dont contact me again shows her that i dont care anymore. Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 yeah most likely but the fact that i was able to say no its great to hear from you etc rather then saying please dont contact me again shows her that i dont care anymore. Mmm. I wouldn't have said "great to hear from you". Maybe "nice to hear that your well" or something Either way, it doesnt really matter. I'm sure she'll text you again in a months time. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 ah if she is reading in to a "great" instead of a "good" sure thats her own problem! as I said I'm not playing games. I could hear from her today or I might hear from her in 10 years. either way I'm moving on which is the main thing. Link to comment
replytome Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 why do all of these reach-outs start with "i know you probably dont want to hear from me"? haha! got one that started like that a few days ago...ended with "I'm sorry for writing you". Let's face it. Dumpers feel like they can do anything, and are just looking for validation of that power over you. I did not give it. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 when you say that power over you - would not responding to them jsut show that you are not over them and in turn they would feel better because its too hard for you? where as i responded acting like im in great form which i actually am these days so that might make them think you are over them already? Link to comment
replytome Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 when you say that power over you - would not responding to them jsut show that you are not over them and in turn they would feel better because its too hard for you? where as i responded acting like im in great form which i actually am these days so that might make them think you are over them already? Well, I did respond because I had to...it was about our joint account, but I know it was just an excuse to contact me. I decyphered it. Bottom line, do what you feel like. If I could I would have ignored it. The point is to simply not care what she thinks...next thing she sends me, and there will be more I'm sure, I will ignore it...no doubt about it. I don't even want to be friends with her, she literally has nothing more to offer than a beating pulse and a vagina. I have plenty of friends who are much more fun and interesting. Link to comment
replytome Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 And there are plenty of nicer looking vajayjay's out there, with stronger pulses! Link to comment
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