drowning in despair

[saronti]

I kicked my husband of 10 years out in february, over a series of calls he made to anotehr woman. I was adamant that it was over, moved on, sorted out finances etc. he kept talking about trying again and I dug my heels in and said no. We have 1 child together. about a month ago i found out he has been seeing someone and my heart has been ripped out. He says he is seeingt what is happening with the relationship and is not jumping into anything. I am consumed by the thought that i have made a horrible mistake, and am barely getting by every day. he says he is happy discovering himself and is not going back to all the arguing. How can i get through this. I have to see him as we have a child and a football club together- please help someone !!!

[whysoalone]

It's always a tough situation, in your case you have a few that are incredibly hard.

 

1. You have a child together, so you can't avoid contact with him.

 

2. You have a footy club together (Going to assume soccer?).

 

I'd say, these should be the only times where it hurts the most. Those few times that you have to see him, should be the absolute ONLY times that he's anywhere near your mind.

Being a single parent, i'm sure you could find time for yourself during your day-to-day life. Have you ever thought of giving him the child for the day and going out and pampering yourself? Massage, day spa. Any of those things that you can go out, relax and just enjoy yourself!

 

You need to keep your mind on other things, you need to enjoy your time alone.

 

And lastly, welcome to ENA!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I gather those series of calls were not innocent calls and were indications that he was straying? If he was starting to stray like that then perhaps you did the right thing. He is running out to date already which means he was just itching to find someone new. That probably would have happened anyway since he was already looking for a replacement while still married to you. Don't second guess yourself. What you are feeling is a natural reaction when an ex finds someone new. It doesn't mean that had you taken him back he wouldn't have been looking elsewhere.