found pics of us and old text messages from when we were happy..

[Sweetkisses22]

Im feeling so low right now.. not even funny. I found pictures of us kissing, making love, sweet pics he sent me so long ago. Then came the text messages.. all of the sweet and amazing words. everything when we were happy. How he wanted to marry me and have kids. Then there was texts from when we fought and made up. He made it seem like it was always me trying to "throw him away." He said I was always trying to push him away by starting fights? I just don't know anymore..

 

I still love him. And even though im in the process of moving on I just feel like we shouldn't bw over right now. Our story shouldn't have ended here or ended as bad as it did. I hate him. He was the one person I thought wouldn't hurt me. He tore my heart up and threw it out. He took EVERYTHING from me. Reading all his texts about how he'd never leave me and loves me so much makes me want to find him ad smack him accross the face.

 

Anyone else go through this??

[hello678]

I find the more you look back on them the more empty they become. They are only filled with such amazement and joy because you feel the feelings and emotions. I find once all that is gone they're just usually really empty messages. Completely meaningless.

[somegirl30]

While I've deleted all texts and pics he texted me, I do have 1 pic of us saved in my phone I haven't been able to bring myself to delete. It was taken on a great day and we were both happy and having fun together... If you can, try to delete all the texts and pics, or at least most of them.

[jonben]

im going thru the same thing right now an she lives accross the street now i sit at home watching an old video i took of her when she wasnt paying attention when she saw me she got mad but not in a bad way an i said id stop but didnt then w kiss an the camera was in just the right place just before the end u can just barely hear her wisper i love you an it brings me to tears every time i watch it an i gotta tell u its no way to live an i think we both need to find a way to move on

[dramallama]

im going thru the same thing right now an she lives accross the street now i sit at home watching an old video i took of her when she wasnt paying attention when she saw me she got mad but not in a bad way an i said id stop but didnt then w kiss an the camera was in just the right place just before the end u can just barely hear her wisper i love you an it brings me to tears every time i watch it an i gotta tell u its no way to live an i think we both need to find a way to move on

You're not going to move on if you relive the past. It's ok for now, but at some point, as soon as you want to move on, you have to make choices to stop keeping the memory of what was alive, because that's gone now.

[LP90]

I went through the exact same thing. Letters and cards, texts and what not. All promising to be with me forever no matter what. We will live the rest of our lives together because there can never be anyone else, her heart belongs to me, etc etc. Im not gonna lie, i loved it. But closer to the breakup and even after the breakup, i kept hearing all the same things nonstop, how she will never love anyone like me, how she will never forget, i am the most important person in her life, yet she still decided its best we move on. And even after she said we should move on she still said i love you to me. Those were her last words to me when we spoke. Trust me, its only painful because you are putting meaning to all this. In reality, its all just words. If any of it were true, it would all be shown in actions, not empty promises. Id recommend putting all that stuff away and deleting all the messges for your own sake.

[dramallama]

Transfer the photos/love letters/memories from your phone/email account/facebook to your computer and either burn them to a disc or external hard drive, then put that CD or external hard drive somewhere a bit hard to get to (such as in the back of a tall wardrobe). Then DELETE all of the photos from your computer or phone. It will make it much easier to move on, trust me.

[hello678]

Beautiful post man

[hausser]

Yes. A few days ago one of my ex's friends added me on FB. We had a brief chat and when we did the Fb chat window thing popped up. 2 years earlier I had dumped my ex, and she had been desperate to get in touch. In that chat window were the messages she had been relaying to me via her friend, she was that desperate to get in touch.

 

What a difference to now eh?

 

Stuff like "she's so sorry, she's missing you and wants to keep in touch" etc etc. Upset me at the time though it does ease sweetkisses.

[Sunshin3]

I've been through this quite recently. After the break up (and it was a bad one) I used to look at our happy pictures all the time. But then one day I realized no one takes pictures of themselves when their upset. So every time he made me cry or hurt me in anyway I took a picture. And slowly I began to associate the pictures of hurt with him. I know this sounds kinda silly but it worked for me and a year later I sometimes find myself having to look at the pictures to remind myself of who he really was.

[ferna3069]

our exes hut us more then they realise, in more then one wayh. its normal to feel like your still together when u look at pics. but thats the past. its best to delete them or store them away in a flashdrive or something. dont look at them or its going to bring more pain

[Sim54]

No one hurts you without your express permission to do so. The more you blame others for your pain, the more of a victim you will feel, and feeling like a victim is a powerless place.

Accept that things didn't work out, that mistakes were made on both sides, and that nothing lasts forever. Your ex did love and care for you, and his words were not empty.

Attempting to re write history to try to make sense of the pain isn't healthy, and is a way to run away from yourself.

 

ALL your feelings about your ex are valid, even your desire to smack him right now. You are hurt and angry and feel betrayed. That is all normal and healthy and in time you will let all the emotions go, the positive and the not so positive. Just let it all flow through you and move on slowly.

 

Even if you believe you weren't meant to end like this, he didn't agree, and for now you are broken up.

 

Accept reality and move slowly forward whilst being gentle to yourself.

[Sweetkisses22]

Its so hard though. I am trying really hard. Maybe when my summer classes start up again I will have something to take my mind off the pain. I just keep thinking about this time last year we were so happy and in love. I thought we would be together forever. I wanted no one but him.

[LP90]

Trust me, you wont hear of another relationship that didnt think or want the same thing. At one point or another, you will be with someone that will make you feel they are FOR SURE the one you will marry and spend your life with. That is until something happens and they arent willing to work it out. Its extremely painful to think about it and comprehend it because you WANT to believe its true and will last forever. We are all blinded by love and refuse to believe anything can and will go wrong at some point. Thats just human nature unfortunately. Then when something does happen, we are left heartbroken for the longest time. I guess the only thing to do is to be a lot more careful in our next relationships. Love the person but dont jump into the forever together and marriage ideas thinking that nothing can go wrong.

[Robin2904]

: to everyone hurting I'm going through the same stuff now. I took away everything that reminds me of him, but yet something will show up and remind me no matter how hard I have worked to remove him from my life. I made another user name on my computer and all our old pics, videos, memories is all on my other name so I don't have to see them. Everything has LONG been deleted off of my FB page.... then the other day I was browsing my Aunt's FB page and I saw old pictures from a year ago of me and the ex at her bday party that she never took down. I recently also saw pics of us I had posted somewhere online in a forum I used to go to. I feel like I can't get away.

 

And every now and then when I am low I will go look at old pics which I KNOW is a bad mistake but I can't stop myself sometimes. All my text convos have long since been deleted but doesn't matter because they are stuck in my mind. I don't forget much. And sometimes they will just randomly pop into my mind. He used to text me pictures from the gym EVERY morning with out fail. It was my alarm clock. I just knew. I saw an old gym pic he had of himself recently on an old profile of his and it just made me SO sad because I miss seeing his face every day in those pics. It's very tough. I will think about old times and just cry, get sad. I wonder where we went wrong sometimes. I know how you feel hun- that's all I can say. I don't have any good advice- if I did I would be making it work for me lol. Just know I'm feeling how you are also.

[Robin2904]

Its so hard though. I am trying really hard. Maybe when my summer classes start up again I will have something to take my mind off the pain. I just keep thinking about this time last year we were so happy and in love. I thought we would be together forever. I wanted no one but him.

 

The more posts I read from you the more it just makes me think of myself lol. I have been doing that SO much- going back just one year and thinking how things were SO different. We actually broke up for the first time one year ago next week. We were so solid and SO in love up until then. I think that was the blow that weakened us so much. We got back together- sort of a we are but we aren't'- type thing from July-Nov/December. We even got back to a great place again, I really thought things were going to work out back then. We were even looking at condo's together last August. Makes me so sad. We had a lot of ups and downs over the Summer, but I just can't help but remember the Summer day's last year where things were so good. Driving in his car, the Summer air was hot, holding hands, going to the beach. It sounds crazy but the smell of Summer makes me cry because it makes me think of the Summer days I spent with him last year and it just makes me miss him so much. I understand where your coming from SO much!