Is There Any Hope For Me? :(

[mismis]

I was with a great guy, we were happy together,had fun and seemed we had the same feelings for each other.

 

Sometimes though, I would doubt his feelings. I have been hurt before,as we all have I know, and just need some reassurance from him. He did..told me he was happy with me etc. One day he was acting a little "off",and again I got scared. Next day he told me he wasn't happy and broke up with me.

 

I completely understand how frustrating it is when someone questions your feelings etc. I apologized as much as I could for acting that way.He gave me no reason to doubt him. I said that I DO trust him..because I really do.I'm not a bad person,I'm very loving and caring and would never hurt him on purpose.

 

I know it was unfair to him for doubting him,he never gave me a reason to do so. I tried explaining all this to him but he doesn't want to give me the chance to fix it..to show him that I am a loving girl who would do anything to make him happy. I tried to reassure him that I would never make him feel bad again,and that every day he would be greeted with all the love and happiness he deserves.

 

He really is a wonderful guy, never treated me wrong. My stupid fears and insecurities took over and now I've lost him.

 

Is there any hope of getting back him back? Should I try talking to him again, give him space? I'm afraid if I wait too long it will be too late.

 

Please help

[OptomisticGirl]

Unless you address those fears, they will be there if you get back together. No one leaves a relationship for being happy - I doubt you doubting him is the only reason he left.

[garibaldi1]

How long has it been?

 

Maybe a little space just for him to gather his thoughts but not enough for him to think right it's time to get over her.

 

If I was you, I would make it clear exactly what you've just said...not just repeated apologies but more reasons for why it happened. Don't go on about before of course but make it clear it was silly insecurities and fears and that it wasn't him as such but more you scared of losing him. That you just find it hard to trust yet at the same time you do trust him, you just have these moments of uncertainty and needed a little reassurance because you loved him and just wanted to know that back?

 

But yeah obviously i'm just saying things over an internet site in reply to a few sentences so take any reply including mine with a pinch of salt...but if what you're saying is true it makes it seem like something where he was a bit 'off' triggered the worry where you'd be treated the same as before and because he means so much to you, you hoped it wouldn't be him causing that feeling again...

[garibaldi1]

I'd agree with optimistic girl too...you need to look at yourself in these situations as well as the other. What will stop these feelings cropping up again and did he make it clear, the reasons for breaking up...

[mismis]

Thank you for the reply.

 

I'm sure my fears are unfounded,like I said he never ever gave me a reason to doubt him..I really don't know why I did. We had always talked about things that may be bothering us..he wanted to because he said he was happy with me and didn't want to lose what we have.

 

He had assured me as I mentioned, that I had nothing to fear,but once I again I doubted him. I know he wouldn't leave if he was happy.He told me he no longer was because I made him feel bad when I questioned him...and I can understand that.

 

I would just like to know if I should try talking to him again or if there's no hope at all for getting him back >

[OptomisticGirl]

As I said, you need to work on you and those fears because even if you get back together, those fears will be there unless you fix them. I suggust leaving him be and working on you. If once you get everything figured out and he wants to give it another go, go for it.

[mismis]

Hi all,thank you again for getting back to me. I don't really have any news, just more questions

 

I forgot to mention in my first post, that after he left, in my panic, I had left him some offline messages in hopes that he'd log on when he got home. I didn't say anything bad, just telling him what I had tried to before - that it was wrong for me to doubt him,I know he never gave me a reason to,and that things would be 1000x times better if I could just get a chance to show him. He did log in and I'm sure he saw the messages but he didn't say anything. I probably shouldn't have sent the message, but I was in a panic

 

As garibald1 said, I DO want to explain to him why it happened, why I have these moments of silly insecurity, but it isn't him that I don't trust. But how do I do that now? I know he's hurt by me not trusting his feelings and his intentions, how do you fix something like that ?

 

Also, I've been looking through the forums here, and I've read a lot about no contact. There was never any mention of no contact from him or me, so I don't know if I should try talking to him or not. He had walked past me a few hours afterward, and I wanted so badly to talk to him but didn't know if I should. One friend, a male friend, told me I should wait a day or so before trying to talk to him because he feels hurt and angry right now. Yet a female friend told me that if I see him to say hi or something.

 

I know I need to work on my trust issues,and I am. I know in my heart, without a doubt, this is something that can be worked through if he only gave me the chance to explain and he'll see how much I do trust him and care about him..things between us would be so much better. We were so great together and I know it can be that way again. At the time he was breaking up with me, seemed no matter what I said he had made up his mind not willing to work through it, so does that mean there's no way of trying to fix it?

 

I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused because people tell me different things. I just know that if he gave us another chance things would be as they were in the beginning - happy, loving and carefree, but how and when do I try to reach out and attempt a reconciliation?...and more importantly, WHAT do I say, HOW do I say it ? Or do I wait for him to come to me since he was the one who wanted to end it? If wait too long, it may be too late, I don't know

 

 

 

Sigh..I just want him back and I don't know how >.

[mismis]

Anyone have any more help for me? I am going to try to work through my fears and such, but I really believe this is relationship can salvaged.

 

I'd really like some more advice on how to proceed

 

Thank you.

[OptomisticGirl]

I would just go no contact. It seems out of the blue fir you but I guarantee he has been thinking this for awhile. Dmpers just dint dump out of the blue. I would go no contact and work on you. Dint worry about getting him back, work on you and use no contact to do that. You bump into him be nice, say hi, but don't go out if your way to tslkl to him. He knows how you feel, it's his time to act.