Very tempted to contact ex

[somegirl30]

It's been about a month and a half since the BU... I'm the dumpee. He broke up with me unexpectedly over the phone saying he had too much going on (2 jobs, etc) and felt he was holding me back. He told me I could call or text him later if I wanted to talk about it but I said I didn't know what else there was to talk about. He told me I could contact him anytime and he would be there for me, etc. I was crying and angry, but I kept my dignity and didn't beg or anything. We've been NC ever since. I was doing really well, but over the last week or so I feel like I've kinda regressed and have been so tempted to contact him. I don't really want him back... I just want to know how he's doing. I'm moving on and am actually hoping to move out of state in a few months. So should I just text to see how he is?

[DylanNotorious]

No I don't think you should do that. Just assume that he's doing fine.

[Lostt]

Dont do it! It will set you back to square one.

I'm in the similar position where I really want to contact him (it's been only 3 or 4 days) and I'm struggling with it. I decided to go on All inclusive vacation before I head home to my family and I'm crying everyday (it's my 2nd day here) because I'm so lonely,vulnerable in a strange country, but I do know that if I will I'll look pathetic and desperate in his eyes, so as hard as it is--I'm staying away!! You should do the same

Good luck

[LP90]

Agreed, stay no NC for both you and him. You both need to clear your minds and move on. You will only make things worse for both of you if you contact him. You were both living your lives before you met eachother, and so you will after you are no longer together. Concentrate on yourself now.

[Live-N-Learn]

I get the urges as well to contact my ex and have in the past. Nothing good comes out of it unless you both want the same thing. You have kept your dignity and I am proud of you. Do not be the one to reach out to him.

[Confused28645]

Dont do it. Retain some dignity. If you do and he doesnt reply or says something you dont wanna hear it will open up a whole new can of worms. I still have the temptation to contact my ex. But I dont as I always remember something that Janis Joplin once said 'dont compromise yourself, you're all you've got'

[Blue Skittles]

Don't even bother. It isn't going to accomplish anything, so its just a waste of your time.

[C_Unknown2005]

No I don't think you should do that. Just assume that he's doing fine.

 

+1 on this one the less you know the better

[Melting]

Be strong.... You may hear something you don't want to hear and that will only send you backwards.

[somegirl30]

Wanted to say I appreciate the responses. I've been doing well and contacting him may set me back and I don't want to take that chance. I have these weak moments...weekends are difficult sometimes, I guess b/c during the week I can focus on work and stay busy. And sometimes on really bad days I've had the urge to talk to him. And I've been having dreams involving him. Anyway, thanks.

[LaceWing]

Similar situation here. It's been five weeks since split and just over two weeks NC....he said similar to me as well.

 

I too have felt times when I wanted to text/call/email...usually out of hurt or anger. But, I managed to leave things with dignity, and that's how I intend for it to stay. I have been told he feels ashamed for what he said...that he wants forgiveness.

 

However, I honestly believe if a man say's that sort of thing...needs to focus on work/has too much going on...it has to be him who makes it up to the lady.

 

We've got to know our worth girls. If a man pushes us away, remove yourself from him completely. Let him see how his life feels without you. And do not give into urges or impulses to contact him. If he is man enough, if he feels strongly enough, and if it is meant to be, he will come back to you. And if he does, don't immediately go leaping into his arms. Make him work for you, because you are valuable and worth working for.