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Break up with girlfriend?


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Hello, this upcoming September I will be going away to university. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. I love her very much and I will miss her a lot when I go away.


I plan on breaking up with her before I go away, for numerous reasons:

1. The distance is especially hard to handle and I will see her very little, maybe less than once a month. It will only get harder when she goes away for university next year.

2. I'm 18 and as much as I care about her and love her, she is my first love and the first girl I've had a serious relationship with and I want to experience university life/other girls without the burden of commitment even though I know love her.


So combined those are the main reasons I have been considering leaving her. Don't get me wrong I love this girl to bits but she is the only girl I have known to love so I really don't know if it is just puppy love or something. I still want to spend the summer with her and still be with her before I go away.


Am I being selfish? Should I leave her now or not leave her at all or wait until September?




Thanks in advance

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hmm this is a tough one.. ive only just turned 21 myself and came out of my first relationship in october last year after nearly 3 years together. So i know what it feels like to be with your first girlfriend and the way feel about her. My ex went to university, but it was still in the same area so it was no problem for us.. what i do know is that if she was to have moved further away with us only seein each other only once a month, i know i couldnt deal with that. Ive got many friends which have gone to uni with girfriends, but within 6 months have all broken up because it is too much too handle, especially at our young age.


I dont think you and your girlfriend being together with you being at uni is possible, if it is, its very unlikely itl last. Now you have to decide when is the right time to tell her it will have to end, that bit im not so sure about. If it was me i would spend most of the summer with her, then slowly as the september aproaches start talking about what you both feel its going to be like with you being at uni, then you can get an idea of how she feels about it too.

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Doesn't really help me at all..What's the point in getting all philosophical on an 18 year old


You don't LOVE her you just like her a lot. Yes break it off ASAP so you can be emotionally past it by the time September rolls around so you can enjoy University and all the benefits that go with it.

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The most compassionate thing you can do is have a conversation which results in the relationship ending as soon as possible. Once the relationship is severed, do not contact her; she'll likely be confused and your interaction will only worsen the situation.


I ended my first relationship of three years when she completed her Freshman year and returned "home". She wasn't particularly far (3 hours), but the college environment will certainly change perceptions, priorities and interests. Good luck.

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