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Broke NC, and now I feel <removed>


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Basically ended up mediating last night for the first time. Imagery of my ex came into it, and as she is really big into meditation herself I thought I'd send her a SMS telling her what happened. Especially since it is my first time doing it.

 

She is yet to reply, and I don't think she will, and now I feel like such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

 

It's really painful, can't talk to her the same way. I miss how we used to talk together in a r/ship etc, now it feels like there is a lot of tension between us.

 

Anyway, back to square one. Was recovering too.

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Live and learn. This is only a temporary setback and you will continue to heal. Just acknowledge the lesson and move on. The protection that NC offers is two part. Not only does it give you space to heal and learn how to be single again, but it also protects yourself from emotional responses that are ill-advised. Right now, your brain is not tracking right. It will find any excuse to spit out a "good reason" for you to initiate contact: a dream, a song on the radio, seeing a mutual friend.

 

If meditation is a hard wired link to the EX, maybe you should hold off on exploring it for the moment. Try along type of exercise or relaxation technique. I used to attend the Oscar parties with my EX and after the split, I had to back off on watching any of those award shows because they would trigger tons of memories.

 

You are human. Forgive yourself and move on. What is your plan if she should respond to your SMS in a few days. Lets say it all together now: NO CONTACT. Do not attempt to explain the image, the situation or how you are sorry for texting to begin with. Just ignore. Your initial message never happened. Good luck!

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Don't hold off on meditation..if you can do it...then do it....its there to help clear those thoughts, underatanding them, be aware of them and accept them with peace....meditation is a powerful tool especially for a break up, by withholding yourself from bringing your subconscious in the present you are not dealing with what your mind is trying to deal with... Keep meditating! Stopping because of the images would be unwise as meditation is meant to develop a clarity and understanding of those images with a calm relaxed mind.

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Don't hold off on meditation..if you can do it...then do it....its there to help clear those thoughts, underatanding them, be aware of them and accept them with peace....meditation is a powerful tool especially for a break up, by withholding yourself from bringing your subconscious in the present you are not dealing with what your mind is trying to deal with... Keep meditating! Stopping because of the images would be unwise as meditation is meant to develop a clarity and understanding of those images with a calm relaxed mind.

 

She wrote back telling me to keep on doing it, and wrote that probably the reason why I had an image of her, is because I am on her mind.

 

lol

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Oscar parties, you work in the film industry?

 

It's her birthday soon, should I wish her one?

 

My aunt Mabel hosted killer Oscar parties.

 

Do not wish her a happy birthday. No contact means no contact. The goal is to get her off your mind. Forget about her birthday and focus on YOU. Meditation is only meditation if you are clearing your mind, make sure you are not using it as a cover to think about her and review your past relationship. That would defeat the purpose.

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