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Shy Girl......shy guy


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Hello all,

Just looking for a little advice. Glad I found this forum, there seems to be quite a bit of advice and discussions on many topics so looking forward to getting to know this place a little better.

I am a 40 year old woman, most of my relationships have been with men who just wanted to take advantage of me on many levels.....but I won't get into that too much right now. My most recent relationship was not much different and I feel that the men I have attracted are generally a direct reflection of how I feel about myself, consciously or subconsciously.

But even more recently I have become attracted to a man at my place of employment. I work in a coffee shop part time and this really sweet guy (35ish) is a regular customer,he works accross the street. He dresses very smartly, very elegant, he seems to be a total gentleman. He is not the same as other men I have been attracted to and I really don't want to get all gung-ho about this guy because I think that he is VERY shy, but I think that he might be attracted to me as well. He seems to be very comfortable talking with the other staff, not flirtatious, just very polite, but I have noticed that as soon as I'm around he clams up, he averts my gaze. He's like a deer in headlights when I'm around...????

Do I scare him that much? I have tried to break the ice a few times, although I can be pretty shy as well when dealing with someone I don't really know and of course with someone who I'm attracted to. I know that he works in sales, so I was thinking that I could ask him a question about his work to help "open the doors" so-to-speak.

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts, help...



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Shy men really appreciate it when a woman breaks the ice and initates the conversation. With some shy guys, you'll find that as long as the woman can make the first initial move, they can take it from there unless he's just really bashful. If that's the case, you have your work cutout for you.

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Thanks for the advice: the latter might be the case with this man....he is so nice, attractive, I think he has had his moments of charm, but I ultimately he is SHY SHY SHY....we'll see what happens next time I see him, but if I have the chance I am going to do something to make him understand that he can relax...


thanks again,


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