How do you be more of a man in a relationship?

[sennheiser]

I'm sensitive and I think I "take care" of things when they need to be taken care of and I only do so after I ask so as to avoid overstepping my boundaries. The girls I have dated have said that I don't seem to take control of the relationship though. So how do you take over a relationship and what makes a girl feel like the guy is taking care of her? What makes a guy more manly or dominant?

[endy]

read being the strong man a woman wants.

[tresqua]

Be independent and have a life outside the relationship, be sensitive to her needs but not clingy, give her space when she needs it while while being available for her. If you think that's a tall order, it's just the beginning.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Don't think manly and dominant. Think assertive. Think confident. Have goals and direction. Have an opinion. Make some decisions. It's really no fun to be with somebody who, ALL THE TIME, says, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" You want something? Ask for it. You really want something? Lead the ship that direction.

 

Don't worry so much about overstepping your boundaries. And oh yeah, make sure you establish your own boundaries.

[Day_Walker]

It seems that you want to be the man that these girls wanted you to be. Instead I think that you should be the man that you want to be.

[FathomFear]

I wouldn't advise setting up a dynamic where you "take care" of a woman, in some sort of dominant "overseeing" kind of way. Even though some more conservative women might want that I don't think it's particularly healthy. You're her partner--not her father.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Me the kind of man she admires. How? Take of yourself mentally, financially (this does not mean being rich, it means knowing how to be financially responsible and having knowledge), physically, ethically. Assert your opinion, but not in jerk kind of way. Stand up for what you believe in, stand up for her around others. Have a plan.

[hers]

Don't think manly and dominant. Think assertive. Think confident. Have goals and direction. Have an opinion. Make some decisions. It's really no fun to be with somebody who, ALL THE TIME, says, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" You want something? Ask for it. You really want something? Lead the ship that direction.

 

Don't worry so much about overstepping your boundaries. And oh yeah, make sure you establish your own boundaries.

This! Exactly this.

 

Dont dominate, but assert yourself. There's a difference between saying "We're going here tonight" and "I thought we might go here tonight". There's a difference of "I look awesome and my muscles are big!" and "I am a handsome guy". Arrogance, dominance, and cockiness are bad...assertiveness, confidence, and self-esteem are good.

 

But you also can't be a doormat. Don't say "well, my girlfriend says we're hanging out here tonight" to your friends. Say "I'm gonna talk to my girlfriend about our plans and I'll let you know." Then you talk to her and you say "Hey, My friends want to meet up at the bar and I was thinking of going." Not like you're asking for her permission or ditching her but like you know you can make decisions for yourself.

 

Boundaries and having a life outside of your relationship are great tools.