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Need Advice - Rebounded, Regret it.

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I am new to posting to these forums but have been lurking for a while and have seen some great advice dished out. I am in need of some. I'm not sure that this is the best forum for my situation, but here goes.


I was in a relationship with a guy for two years, he ended it, and after a long period of not talking at all we reconciled for a couple of months. During that period of not talking, I had hooked up with a friend of a friend (drunkenly, stupidly). It didn't make me feel better, and I told my ex about it once we got back together. Then my ex ended our relationship again, insisting we work better as friends. I don't feel the same, but I'm trying to make the best of it and keep him as a friend.


But I'm weak and felt rejected, so I saw the hookup again within a week of being demoted to friend by my ex. And hooked up. Again. And this time it was a calculated decision. I knew what I was doing. I feel so gross about it. So gross. I thought it might help me move on, but I've learned my lesson. I acted out of emotion, it was stupid. I judge myself. I don't want to see this guy again. I don't want to be reminded of how stupid I am.


The hookup, however, seems to think we're going to be something. He's coming on super strong: texting me constantly with compliments, asking to see me, liking and commenting on everything I do on Facebook (I accepted his friend request, my mistake), showing up at places he thinks I'll be at. It feels a little like stalking, to be honest. I don't know how to stop this, or what to say to him. I've never been in a situation like this and I don't know how to make it clear that I don't want a relationship with him. I don't even want to see him again. What I did was a mistake, it was selfish, and I should have thought it through, because this guy is nice and I don't want to hurt him. But that's something I should have thought about before. It's my fault.


Any advice?? I'm also paranoid because I do still hang out with my ex, and at places where this guy goes. Obviously I haven't told my ex about it this time because I don't think it's his business. I'm just afraid of a bad in-person confrontation with this guy if I don't let him down easy.

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You've basically used another person to make yourself feel better. STAY SINGLE this time until you get over feelings for the ex. Tell your rebound immediately that you don't have feelings for him and let him go. Do it in person, you owe him that much after using him. Don't be a coward.

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I don't know how to stop this, or what to say to him. I've never been in a situation like this and I don't know how to make it clear that I don't want a relationship with him.


Sure you know how. The real question is what is preventing you from saying and then following suit....do you think subconsciously, even though you regret hooking up with him, that you like the attention he is showing you, since your ex has given up?


I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm sure you're old enough to know that you just need to say to the dude that you've recently gotten out of something, and are not in no way, shape or form, ready for a new relationship, or FWB situation for that matter.

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I dont know what advice you are looking for really. Break things off with the hookup and if you arent over your ex, stop hanging out with him.


As difficult as it is, you made decisions now you need to face the consequences. On the other hand this hookup guy clearly has the wrong expectations as you hooked up with him briefly then stopped and went back to your ex and now came back. You need to tell him whats really going on before you hurt him too much.

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