I like someone but I run away from him?????

[jayce24]

I am a very bubbly outgoing person but i currrently like someone and anytime I see him coming my direction or if I am walking and i realize I am gonna have to walk past him I walk in the other direction. I am not a shy person at all but when it comes to him I feel sooo vunerable and I shut down. my question is how do i get over this? I dont think this is emotionally healthy!

Thank you

Jayce

[reboundstudent]

Haha, ah the days of my youth when I did.... oh no, wait, I still do this, I've just gotten far better at making it look like I DID actually forget my pencil back at my desk, or OO this is a fascinating coffee cup display over here...

 

The reason you feel vulnerable and shut down/run away is because you like him! Because you like him, you want him to like you back. If you disliked him, you either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care about the rejection. (Unless you're doing that whole Crush/Enemy thing. That was my style back in high school. I'd glare daggers at the guy and then as soon as he was out of sight start drawing hearts around his name on all my notebooks.)

 

The easiest way to correct this is to face your fear head on. Not only are you going to walk right past him, but you're going to walk right past him and SMILE at him. Yes, you are going to acknowledge his presence, and if you're feeling particularly gutsy, you're gonna maybe even give him a little bit of twinkle. (You know what I mean, that little Tyra Banks eye-pop thing.)

 

Okay, moment of serious. As mentioned above, in high school, I was much the same way. I had a crush on the same guy for about two years, but any time we crossed paths, I either ran away (once or twice, I LITERALLY ran away) or stared stonily ahead. The few times I actually interacted with him, I refused to make eye contact, spoke in a very short, snappy tone, and was a general all around witch. (It was a testament to his character that he was never anything but polite/friendly back.)

 

The end of our junior year, he suddenly passed away. I kept it together pretty well until his wake-I must have been more shaken up than I realized, because his mother actually reached out, hugged me, and told me it was going to be okay. At that moment, all I could babble was that I wished I could have told him what an amazing person he was.

 

Whenever you think of running away, or can't seem to summon the courage to smile at the guy who has been lucky enough to win your affections, remember... life on this planet is brief, and you may not get another opportunity.

[jayce24]

wow thats soo true!!! I will defiantly take your advice! I guess to get more specific I met him at my new church and I have only been there a few months. so i guess to me it didnt make sense that i can like someone soo soon i guess.

[laura40]

I remember doing this with a guy I liked when I was 15! Certainly brings back memories.

 

You just have to push yourself to walk past him, or go even further and speak to him! When I was like this, my friends used to MAKE me walk in the direction he was going, just so I became a little more confident.

 

I've just read you met him at your new church. I think you should speak to him next time you see him to get the conversation going. Once you've done that, your confidence will rocket and you'll be able to show your confident, bubbly side to him! Good luck!