How To Discipline A Teenager???

[seanryder]

Hi Folks,

 

Just looking for some guidance as to how to approach a situation where my son (13) and his brother (11) set up Facebook accounts against our (his parents) express wishes. We feel they are too young for Facebook and said that we would review things when they are older, maybe 15.

 

What sort of discipline would anyone recommend?

 

Thank you.

[xiRoCb294]

Maybe you could monitor or limit their time on Facebook to just 15-30 minutes a day? Or you could also create a Facebook account and have your sons "add you" onto their Friends list, and then you could have access to their pages to monitor them too. I know some of my friends have their own parents on their Friends list.

[annie24]

Well, the 11 year old, by facebook's own rules is too young to have an account, so he should not have it at all. you can say he can have an account - as long as you are his 'friend' on there.

 

otherwise, to punish? i dunno - take away computer or tv privileges?

[RedDress]

I think that trying to stop kids from going on Facebook is like trying to get a fish not to swim. It's an integral part of how kids communicate with each other these days. Asking them not to be on there is asking them to be social outcasts. I honestly think that if you try to stop them, they'll just get better at hiding it.

 

That being said - they disrespected your wishes which is not cool.

 

If they were my kids? Grounded from the computer for a week for lying and hiding things. When the grounding is over, become their friend on Facebook. It's much easier to monitor appropriate use than it is to try to forbid it (which I don't think will work anyways)

[catcountry]

I dunnno. I am friends with my daughter on FB and yeah I can see her posts and monitor by logging onto her account BUT I cannot monitor her chat just by being a friend. What FB really needs are parental controls. *sigh* They get old so fast don't they.

[xiRoCb294]

Also, you should tell your kids not to accept friend requests from complete strangers, because sometimes strangers will add me when I don't even know who they are and have never met them. A little creeepy.

[BellaDonna]

I think taking the computer away is a reasonable consequence if they went on the computer and deliberately did something that was clearly against a rule set in your home. Regardless of views about whether or not facebook is appropriate for kids that age, the core principle behind the matter is one of trust . They broke a rule and violated your trust in them to use the computer responsibly. As a result taking the privledge to use the computer away (at least for all recreational purposes-maybe just allow for school work for a period of time) seems appropriate.

 

If you said 15 was the age they could have one then I would stick to it. At the most, compromise down the road if they can prove trust and then lower the age to 14 (don't tell them that), but I would advise against letting them have a facebook right now simply because it would just basically send the message that your prior rules mean nothing and if they test the limits and sneak and break a rule, you will fold and give in.

[dramallama]

Take away their computer and talk to their school about blocking facebook there. When the computer gets given back, put it in a high traffic room of the house and tell them that you are installing a net nanny type program that you WILL be checking, and if they try to get around net nanny, google ways to uninstall it or they do uninstall it, the computer will be taken away for twice as long next time. 13 and 11 year olds don't need facebook. It's called a phone if they want to contact their friends. I would also monitor their cell phones and cancel any facebook or Internet on there, or specifically buy a simple phone for them that can only call and send messages.

[Seraphim]

I agree, 13 and 11 year olds do not need Facebook. It is asking for drama and weirdos and pedofiles and every other wacked out person to target kids,as well as making cyber bullying way more possible. I agree there is the good old fashioned telephone. My son is almost 14 and has NO internet time that is not monitored by me. My laptop is passworded out so he has to ask me if he can use it and I keep it in my living room. He also has no internet on his cell phone, only text and he only texts his grandma or his aunt who is 9 months younger than him because they are best friends.

 

I agree, have parental controls put on your pc. The world out there is full of freaks and what could kids possibly have to say that they did not say at school anyway.

 

As far as punishment, take away internet time for a week and explain why and tell them the consequences will be more severe next time.Explain about cyber bullies and predators who look for kids to target on the internet.