My fiancée doesn't want sex anymore.

[xDx]

Im 19 she's 20 and for the past 6 months or so we've had sex maybe 3-4 times a month. I've been with her since I was 14 and I know everything about her.

 

I lost my virginity to her and hers to me and we are the only people we have ever had sex with. She never initiates sex, I always need to start it up. This in itself is annoying because its like a one way street. I don't want to talk to her about it because she just tells me that I'm "too horny" or "is sex all you ever think about" And I've told her before, when nothing happens for 2 weeks then yes it does become all I think about. I just do not know how else to put it accross to her that I NEED sex not that I just WANT it. It's upsetting because I don't know why she isn't as enthusiastic as I am. I am a big lad, and she is incredibly curvy, she doesn't accept that I love how she looks. It's never spur of the moment any more either she'll say to me I promise you'll get tomorrow night and I've come to ask myself, "why is it being given like a gift? shouldn't she be as grateful and loving towards me for it as I am to her. Its just upsetting and I'd really like to know what steps I should take to rectify this.

 

Cheers

D

[hexaemeron]

"She doesn't accept that I love how she looks." -- Bingo. She's basically holding you hostage out of her own image insecurities. She needs to address that, or you need to bounce, because I guarantee you, it won't get better when you're married, just worse.

[ZeldaB]

Have anything changed in the last six months? How much sex did you have before and how much would you consider the right amount?

[tresqua]

we are the only people we have ever had sex with

D

 

You mean "as far as you know".

 

If her sex drive has dropped off, it could be because she's getting it somewhere else. Even if she isn't she may be thinking about it and even if she isn't it's a huge red flag especially considering you're not even married yet. Make sure if you go through with the wedding you make regular sex part of the vows.

[xDx]

I moved in with her around 8 months ago, I'd say 2-3 times a week would be average.

[Lonewing]

If it doesn't improve, bounce. You're young and you have a long way to go still to be shut down like this. Women have to know they can't hold us hostage like this anymore...

[rosephase]

Does she get off when you have sex? Do you spend time going down on her and getting her in the mood?

 

When women first start having sex often the excitement of something being new is enough but the truth is it takes most women _years_ to figure out there bodies and start enjoying sex as much as men do right away.

 

Have you talked to her about what she wants in bed? Is she kinky? Have you asked her what helps get her in the mood? Does she like porn? Does she masturbate? Does she use a vibrator or her hand? Has she tried using a vibrator during sex? You guys are young and have only had sex with each other that is great! but it means you both might need to go the extra mile to figure out what works for her.

[ZeldaB]

First of all, I don't think there is any reason to think she is cheating. You've been together a long time and it's a big adjustment moving in together.

 

I also don't think she is holding anyone "hostage"

 

You've got to talk to her, plain and simple. I don't you tired before and she accused you of being to horny but your adults and you should be able to talk about it. Don't say "Why don't you wanna have sex anymore" try "Ya know, before we use to have a lot more sex. Why did that change?"

 

Also, speaking from personal experience my bf got a lot less romantic after we moved in together. Not saying that you did, because I don't know but sometimes when your living with someone you can forget the little things.

[george237]

Well one your 19 so sex is probably on your mind all the time, as it should be. Two, your both young and have little experience. I don't think anyone should get into a serious relationship, like an engagement, when your so young and have no idea what else is out there.