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Confused a little by this girl?


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So last week, I met up for drinks with this girl and we really hit it off, BIG TIME! I never hit it off with a girl so good in my life The next day, she even invited me to her place while and we watched a movie on her couch. The next day, I told her I liked her and didn't hear from her for two days when she finally said she was a little freaked out because she was just out of a relationship and wasn't ready to jump into anything. I am in the same position too so I agreed and she was happy to be on the same wavelength.


A day later, we met at a club and were dancing and she was grinding on me pretty hardcore. We talked that night and texted the next day. I asked her out to dinner and a movie a couple times and she pushed it back, no big deal, until last night when she sent me a text saying that basically, she couldn't go out with me right now because she's having a hard time being around men after what her ex did to her. She said she wants to spend time with me and get to know me but its just not a good time for her. I told her that I appreciated the honesty and such and such. She then continued with "thanks for being such a great guy. I still would like to continue to chat and go out from time to time and i'll be more open about my feelings so I dont let you down next time". I said something like "You didn't let me down, just take all the time you need, I understand completely. Just know that you deserve someone great" (maybe a little much?)


So can anybody shed any light on what happened? Is she still interested in me and needs time, is she not interested? Any insight would be appreciated. I think its pretty cut and dry but she did end up going out for drinks after canceling out plans so maybe it was her way of letting me down easy?

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I will add when we were dancing the other day she said we were "taking it slow". I'm positive shes interested and she's really awesome and want to pursue her, I know I can't just wait for her to get over her ex. Is there something I should say or just go with the flow? Just keep talking to her and maybe see if she wants to get together this weekend when all our friends are out and stuff?

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She is interested but scared of being hurt again. I think you are handling things the right way. I'd give her her space, maybe start looking somewhere else and if she comes around again then great. this seems like all rather standard spinny, indecisive 20 something female behavior! Nothin' wrong with that - comes with the territory it seems.

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I thought I was handling it pretty good too. I guess I'm confused by the "Its not a good time for me, but I still want to get to know you and hang out from time to time" comment that she made. She's interested and wants to get to know me and spend SOME time with me, but isn't ready? I guess I'm confused how that works..

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So yesterday I asked her if she wanted to meet for a drink so she can kind of clarify what she was feeling and we both be on the same page. Said she would but her new roommate was moving in. Then later I texted her and said I'd be out at the bars this weekend and to hit me up if she wanted to meet up. She said she was going to her cabin then to a festival both days.


After that she asked If I was out last night. I said no because I work tomorrow, why? She then said "idk I was hoping to have a dancing partner". Then I said maybe next week and she replied with a "mmk


What is goIng through her head? Lol very confusing behavior to me and I'm not sure how to take it. She was drunk though so I'm. It sure if that matters...

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm gonna bring this thread back because it's a little more confusing lol


I hung out with this same girl last week, we had a fun night just watching tv and chatting and when I left I get a text saying "let's hang out again real soon


About a week later she texts me at 1am and asked if I wanted to go for a walk, but I was sleeping so didn't get it. Now I really haven't heard from her since. I'm guessing she's busy and it's just my mind running away with thoughts but I kinda feel ignored in a way..valid?

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I would be wary of this one. Seems to me like she does like you but is keeping her options open and dosnt want to look unavailable to her ex )


From what I can gather, you look waaaay too available all the time. Its like she knows you are "always gonna be around" and will jump everytime she snaps her fingers. Do you really want to be with somebody who seems like they cant make there mind up, so you will always be left hanging on?

Dont make someone your priority when you are just their option

It would be interesting if, the next time she wants you two to go out, if you were to casually say "I cant tonight ive got plans"

It will do her good to think you are not reliant on her and you fed up of waiting on her. Oh and dont lie, do go out! You never know you could meet someone who feels about you the way you feel about her

Good luck x

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ok here's what happened.


Last night I went with my uncle, his friend and his friends wife to watch the fireworks. Midway through, she sends me a text saying " hey you watching the fireworks? Wanna meet? Im out of work early I replied with a "yea where r u". She was on the other side of town and wasn't going to come all the way accross town because she had to work in the AM. No biggie and I was fine with it. The past week or two she's worked 10 days with 1 day off and her sister and mom are in town so she's just been unavailable. She then said "After Tuesday we are hanging out!!!: ). Here is are convo from there on out:


Me - Fireworks were awesome! Would've been better with you tho

Her - agreed!!

Me - Well we'll have to have our own fireworks when we hangout : )

Her - good thing I have illegal ones. lol : )

Me - Me too! This will be fun : )

Her - lol forrr sure!

Me - Where are we supposed to light those suckers off at? lmao

Her - We will find out. lol

Me - We'll have to take a ride out somewhere and just hangout and light them off : )

Her - mmhm : )maybe my cabin?!

Me - I'm down! We can make a whole day of it : )

Her - I never work Mondays. thats my next day off after this weekend/week. Wanna go with me next monday?! : )

Me - Definitely but we still have to hang out before that!

Her - I'll txt you my work schedule tomorrow : )


We didn't txt for awhile after that since I had been out at the bar after the fireworks to celebrate, so I was midly intoxicated while we were texting lol Fast forward an hour and I get a text saying "come visit meeee". There was a whole thing where I thought she was gonna pick me up to hang out but really it was for a ride home lol Here are the following texts:


Me - You tease i thought you wanted to see me lmao

Her - I did!! but I gotta work early and can't drive ppl home before i work cuz its so early

Me - I understand lol atleast I got to hear your voice tonight,thats a lot better than a text : )

Her - mmhm. i miss you!

Me - I miss you too! that's why we need to hang out!!

Her - mmmhm


Now, I am keeping my options open, just like she may be. I'm not committed to her and I know I have to keep an open mind about things. She did give me an explanation of why she has been so busy so I'm not as discouraged as I was and know that I shouldn't of been. Also, sorry this is kind of dragging on lol Thoughts and comments are appreciated. Thank You ENA!

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