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Jeez this is hard.


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People have said this to me man - "do whats best for you and you'll be fine". Sure add her on FB, but only when your 100% ready to accept its over and have no romantic feelings what so ever. I was the same, although my feelings haven't subsided because of our contact. It's a shame to lose them as "friends", but give yourself the time to move on. My issue was we remained friends, but in a relationship to those on the outside (if you asked her friends, they'd say we were a couple in all but name).


Girls love to feel interest and crave the attention, as well as almost demand the emotional element that a relationship is built on. That, in my experience, is why they keep us on that hook and give us the crumbs of false hope - so theirs always someone there to give them what they need when all else fails.

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Well I'm just going to wait then till I'm totally over her in an rlationship way and just see her as another friend.


God knows how long it will take, lass did this to me once before, although not as bad. We'd met through friends on holiday, got chatting when we returned, she had a bf i had a gf. * * * * split with her bf but I didnt split with my gf at the time, and she started dating someone else. I was gutted as I did like her but was in a bad place at that time so I couldn't blame her as much as i do this lass! But I still see pictures of her and this guy on facebook and think "If only!" but that's all now, no other physical attraction.

Infact, I now look back and think it was a lucky escape, as she is a little too girly, girly fashion sheep for my liking! lol, I don't like people who have to buy a certain style of clothing because a celebrity wore it, or watch a TV series because it's cool to do so etc etc!


So hopefully in time I'll look back at this one and think "Phew, lucky escape" especially as she has the baggage of a child to someone else, an ex who is also always lurking around the corner (He's basically the childs Dad, as the real Dad doesnt want owt to do with it!).

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Having another little moment again now


Soo weird, I feel better and better each day, but I still have these periods when i just get really down, then my mind starts wandering and bringing up some horrible thoughts! "She's probably out with him now" "She's probably in bed with him now"


Arghhhh. It's making me feel so weak, but I need to make sure I don't let her see it. Not that she can, as we don't bump into each other and she can't see my facebook as it's all locked down to friends only.


Stopped talking to my friend too, as all we end up talking about is her and the other guy which then makes me worse. Need to stop thinking about her, that's the only way I'll get better!


Also going out with a very pretty lady on Friday, not just us two a few others as well but I will mostly be with her most of the night, she may or may not be interested but hopefully that will help put my mind at rest, been around another female and hopefully getting some female attention!

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Read the guide at the bottom of my signature. Try also reading the journey from abandonment to healing, its by susan anderson. It's going to help you get through this a lot faster. Screw her, you don't want her back. You're going to struggle for awhile still and it's normal. The MOST important thing is you keep that NC for 60-90 days. I suggest you do it until you heal completely. In time you're not goign to want this woman back.


I just went through this 3 months ago, I'm fine now. I could actually meet my ex, talk to her and not expect or want anything to come from it. I deserve better than how I was treated, and so do you. That's what you need to focus on. Get pissed, get stronger, know that you deserve better. Know that you ARE worthy of better.

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I'll have a look when I get home from work and will look into the book you mention.


I think I'm more annoyed that i think she's left me for someone else than anything else... Now always thinking how she will be texting him, out with him and not even giving me one bit of thought!

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Yeah, but you have to understand why she probably did it. Most people that do this aren't happy with themselves. They jump from relationship to relationship for temporary happiness. Most likely she isn't happy with herself and you don't want that in a relationship man.

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Ahhh... What's made me much better is talking to an old female friend of mine.


She has a boy friend so obviously not someone i will be getting together with, but we've always liked each other down the years and not spoke much for a long time. SO to start taking again is really helping me take my mind off things.

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She's just text me..


I'm going to ignore it... Is that right?


Wasn't much of a text, "Hi hope your ok I tried txting you for abit but i just dont know what to say, tell me to * * * * off if u like, i have quite a few things on my plate im sorry xxx"

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I understand how you're feeling. And it is hard. My ex and I haven't contacted each other in three weeks now (we broke up ages ago, but remained friends). It's even more difficult because I keep making excuses to why he's not. I keep remembering how he used to send me an e-mail if he didn't hear from me during the week. It's difficult. It's difficult because you miss how things were. It's difficult because you give up hope for things to ever be the same.


But you just keep moving forward because you know moving on it's going to make you stronger and happier. And besides contacting your ex never helps because you don't get the response that you want.


I know there are times when you're fine. And there are times when everything feels like it's crashing down and you just want to hear from them. Don't. When you feel bad distract yourself. Hang out with friends, watch tv, anything. Remember that awful feeling will pass and you don't want to give up all the progress you've made.


It's gonna be okay.

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Do I text her back, or not?


Text her really bluntly, something like "Ok no problem, take care"


Or do I just totally ignore it... Feeling a little weak at the moment and wanting to text her back, not because I want her back but because I want answers?

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But... Do I want answers?


I've already accepted it's over, even if she didn't want it to be (As she never actually said she did). It's what I want now, I don't want her back.


Your head can be your own worse enemy at time, eh?

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Going back to this text... Reading it again makes me think she's now giving her own closure on it?


"Hi hope your ok I tried txting you for abit but i just dont know what to say, tell me to * * * * off if u like, i have quite a few things on my plate im sorry! xxx"


the end bit... quite a few things on my plate im sorry...


Dunno if to text back or not really in 2 minds here!

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Guys, help me out.


What does the text mean? Is she trying to talk to me, trying to patch things up? Or is she just saying "Sorry, it's over"?


is it worth me replying and saying "Not sure what to say back to that text, not quite sure what it means"?


Shall i just ignore it and carry on healing, an see if she texts again in the next week?

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Nope, nothing mate.


She just started acting all weird the past few weeks. Such as not texting me when she got home from work on Saturday nights (Always used to text me when she got in), and not texting me till Sunday at about 7pm... So I'd last speak to her at about 5pm Saturday and not hear from her till the next day.

Never had any time for me, was always too busy, saying she was seeing her Nan in Hospital so couldnt see me or talk to me cos her phone had to be turned off. I believed this - Why wouldnt I? It's not exactly a nice thing to lie about. But these past 2 weeks we've not been speaking she's been on facebook every night, updating her status etc - So why's she not see'ing her Nan anymore?

Other things as well but I don't want to rant on and on.


Anyway, she just blanked me a couple of weeks ago on a Saturday, I text her in the morning and had no reply. Woek up Sunday and she had updated her status on FB using her phone, and someone commented, this guy is someone she was seeing, but when she ended it with him it ended on bad terms, took him off her FB etc but he's suddenly back on the scene.


Anyway, she just blanked me for a week or so, no text, wouldnt answer her phone etc. When she did eventually talk to me, she just had a go at me, saying she's got things on her plate, her nans dying, and "something I cant tell you". So I decided to go NC until she contacts me, i told her I will leave her alone, and she is to text me when she wants to, and i will assume it's over if I hear nothing.


So, just over a week of hearing NOTHING I get that text...

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It doesn't really even sound like you two have broken up. Ok, you've broken up emotionally, as this relationship IS probably toast, but so that you can move forward you need to make it official. You need to sit down and have a conversation with her to get at the bottom of this and to give yourself some peace of mind. Not just a text, not a phone call. You're living in serious limbo.

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This is what I've been trying to do, but she won't have none of it.


I go through phazes where I'm fine, but then have moment where it starts messing with my head.


She asked her (Who is also a good mate of mine) mate last night if I'm ok and taking my medication (I have a medical condition that means i have to take tablets) and eating properly, as i wasn't eating much when she wasn't texting me the first few days due to worrying too much.


Instead of worrying if I'm OK and asking ur mate, or just sending a random text that doesnt say much, just talk to me, in person? Really annoyed me when my friend told me.

She just said "Don't know" which I;m glad about, I don't want her knowing anything about what I'm doing, how I'm feeling unless she talks to me, asking me!

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You gotta find a way to talk to her face-to-face. Or just break up with her, if she won't accommodate you. That's your choice, I think. Because if she cannot make an hour for you two to talk about your relationship, then she's obviously not worth sticking in limbo for. In that case, send her notification that you two are done, and you're moving on. What you can't do is carry on as you have been.

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I did that last week mate, I just sent her a message basically saying, you won't tell me what's going on, you won't end it with me and I have no idea why you're leaving me in the lurch likethis but I can't take it, and therefore think we should just end it, so i have some closure on it.


Never had a reply, but I was expecting not to.


Then I got the text Thursday night.. No idea why, what she wanted to achieve from it or anything!

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How the hell has this thread got 8 pages. You wern't even in a proper relationship with her.


You're over thinking it. She's keeping you on hold in case it doesn't work out with the new guy. Stop being such a * * * * * , change your number and move on there are plenty more deserving threads than this.

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