Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Made a big thread in the Relationship section so I won't type it all out, you can read it here if you wish: www .enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=385757&p=4855266#post4855266 (remove space after www!) I'm now trying to go NC and "move on" unless she gets in touch and tells me it's not over, if no contact then at least I have a few days head start over getting over her. I last spoke to her on Tuesday night... So went a full day yesterday without contact. I even told her that I won't contact her unless she contacts me because I don't know whats going on or why she's been ignoring me! She won't even talk to her best mate and I think it's because she had a little thing with this other guy who I suspect she is now together with, and her mate is also good mates with me (Known them both for about 4 years). I've removed both of their numbers from my phone so I can't contact them, removed her friend from my facebook and will soon remove her from my facebook as well if still not heard anything. I'm really gutted, not only have I lost someone I loved, she was also like a best mate to me. For the past year and a bit we've been texting every day almost all day, and every night we used to text when in bed for hours, so as you can imagine when I'm in bed I'm feeling a little lonley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Wish we could edit posts here? Anyway just wanted to add, what's making me feel worse is not knowing what's going on. She won't give me any answers and for the past couple of weeks insists she's been "too busy". And then throws it back in my face "I have a daughter to look after as well as work" but this had never stoppd her from texting me at all times before. I THINK her Nan's in hospital and she's been going to see her, but this story also doesn't make sense. When we was meant to be going out, she totally blanked me all that day until 5pm where she told me we couldn't go out cos her Nan's ill and the nurse had told her "she has hours left" - I ask how her Nan is a couple of days later "Oh she's fine hun, coming on really well". Do hospital staff really tell you they have hours to live and they suddenly make a recovery a couple of days later? Last Wednesday she told me "My Nan should be out of hospital soon so no more vists"... Tuesday night she told me she has other problems right now, family issues and her Nan's dying! I asked her to tell me what's going on as I;m here for her, like I have been for the past year and a bit and the reply was "You will find out at some point" - What the feck is that meant to mean?! EVerything is going round and round in my head at the moment and is not putting me in a very good place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Any help? I'm really going crazy. It's only been nearly 2 days since we spoke and I can't do it! 1 minute I'm fine and just thinking I deserve better and it's her loss, the next I'm thinking my whole world is over and I'll never meet anyone else. We aint properly spoke since last Thursday, things had been a little rocky all last week, so the texts wasn't the same as they used to be and we didn't see each other. Had no text on Thursday but I admit I never text her too, guess we were both been stubborn, and she finally text me saying for us to stop been silly, but we only text each other briefly until she didn't reply back... Assumed she fell asleep. So Friday I thought, I'll get a text from her to say sorry I fell asleep like I usually do... But no. I left it again, didn't bother texting and got another text late Friday night "Hmmm no text xxx" so I replied saying I never got one from you, bla bla. She replied a couple of times, then stopped again. Saturday I had no text, so I thought, right I'll text her now. So mid day Saturday I text... no reply. Decided to go out with mates to take my mind off her, woke up SUnday no reply but she had put a status on facebook, and this is where it all went pear shaped as the other guy I think she's left me for replied. I called her she said she was too busy at work and will speak to me later but never got back in touch... And still not properly spoke to me recently until Tuesday night where she was just telling me shes busy and has things on her mind and to "drop it" when I asked for clarification between us! Drop it?!? How can I just * * * * ing drop it when I don't even know where I stand and you won't talk to me like adults!! Anyway, still in the NC zone. She's not contacted me and I'm not contacting her. If still not heard anything I'm also removing her off my facebook, as this is where I will beging my FULL healing process (Just at the first stage now, getting prepared!). Sorry for ranting on, speaking to Friends and family don't help because all they say is "leave her, ur too good for her" or "things will work out one way or another" and "You will be ok in time and will have forgot about her" - I know that... But at the moment it's not the best advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloud9riddim Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Seems like she's playing games with the text here and there...not replying etc. You don't want to be with someone like her. Move on and heal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Any tips? Yes go NC until she get's in touch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 That's what I'm doing still mate! Although thinking about sacking her off fully, even if she gets in touch might just tell her where to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endy Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Any tips? Yes go NC until she get's in touch! Go NC until you've healed and moved on. Then if she gets in touch you decide what's best for you. You've been reading mtom's thread. Similar situations, and I know you've probably taken that advice as well. You'll be alright. Everything you are feeling is normal at this point. Try reading that book as well. The journey from abandonment to healing. When you are going through what the books is about... It really helps you understand it more. It makes you realize yes, you actually are sane, and what you are feeling is in fact normal. Then it gives you ways to get through it easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Cheers guys. Glad to know it's normal and I'm not some whinging * * * * * * the thing really helping me at the moment is music, that seems to keep me happy. But when i don't have music and I'm on my own is when I start going crazy. Feel like crying, been sick and just in a complete mess. I think the whole not knowing what's going on doesn't help me... I'd rather her say "look, just fk off and leave me alone i'm busy having sex" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Lol ur ok mate. Always remember judge people solely in their actions, not their words. She knows where you live, she knows ur number, she knows how to get in touch, and is she? Thats what I think about my ex. I used to overanalyse every little thing she said, but then it struck me one day I HADNT ACTUALLY SEEN HER IN WEEKS! This told me and continues to tell me all I need to know about how high she prioritises me. Same thing with yourself. They both may come back, but for the moment we need to accept the fact that they dont want us as part of their lives. If they did I know my ex would have been up weeks ago, but she hasnt. Same with yourself. Try and keep yourself occupied it makes a huge difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 put a spanner in the works this though, off to Magaluf in 5 weeks and need to save for it. Instead I'm off out tomorrow to get pissed with the lads! Ah well, over draft will have to save me for now lol. Feeling pretty good at the moment, nice and calm and it's all down to listening to a bit of The Streets! Going to have a few beers to, might help rock me to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Yeah I may have a few later. Good on you bud, you'll have an awesome time out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 May be clutching at straws here, but her mate text me today asking how I was, said I'm alright now. I asked her if she's speaking to her yet and if she's going with her for her scan she said "Yeah love she's coming with me" Anyway a few texts later just talking she said "She asked about u Yesterday" So at least she's thinking about me?! Maybe the whole NC and her not been able to see anything on my facebook is working?! Either way, I'm starting to get there now. Managed to sleep quite well last night, I wake up a little depressed though but soon snap out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Cool. Yeah there could be something in that dude just stay strong for the time being and keep NC until you hear something more solid, pref off her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Yeah I'm gonna. Asked her mate if she asks her again about me to say she's not spoke to me. Not gonna talk to her mate again though either, I don't want her passing comments back, I was her to be thinking what I'm doing, who I'm with etc!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Finding my self now wanting to know what's going off in her life. I hope to god she doesn't text me whilst I'm out tonigh cos when pissed I'm likely to reply! I also can see my self contacting her in some other ways.. Must stay stong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Use the force Luke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Ive took her off my facebook and asked her mate to delete my num. I want to message her to say bye but is that a bad thing? Im out now and im not gonna enjoy my night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Just forget about it tnite bud, I know what ur thinking, u half wanna say goodbye for closure and half for her to get in touch. Just have a drink until u forget about her then worry bout it tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I'm home now and although I tried to have a chat/dance with other girls I still can't get her out of my head. I thought I was getting better but obviously not. I'm going to message her tomorrow just to say bye... I know I should stay NC but I'm thinking if I send her a message to close it all down it may make things easier? I'm hurting so bad at the moment I don't know what to do.... She's the only person to make me fel this way, I just want her to say bye to me I also want the best for her daughter... And i know i can provide that, and willing to provide that! I have a good job in IT, great pay for my age and so much room to progress.... (I came out of school with literally nothing). But as a Street's song goes "I may have more money, but am I happier? No" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny77 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Mate, stop txtin her altogther. Stop txtin her mates too coz they'll just tell her what u say. If you want to go NC it's about having nothing to do with her. DON'T text her bye tomorrow!!! You'll just look like you did it for a reason to contact her and nothing else. Just go! That's the message you should be sending. NC looks pathetic if you don't do it properly. You just come off looking like someone that's playing games and trying to send signals to them that you're strong. It's your time to heal and feel better mate. She's not txt you bye coz she knows how much that'll hurt you and make you come crawling like a dog just to txt her. Thr fact that she txt you "no text hey" that one time blatantly shows me that she's on to you mate. She's all over your attempt at NC and is ready to shoot you down with a bit of NC of her own. Ps. Txt her tomo and she won't miss you btw. You guys are in a subtle txt war limbo. You need to win her back and heal yourself at the same time. 100% NC for 4 weeks should clear your head enough to see straight and know weather you want to carry on or not. Try it mate. "just don't mug yourself" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 I know mate, what you gunna do if you message her and she doesnt reply? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I just can't do the NC thing. It's killing me! But I'm goin to carry on. Managed to stop my self from contacting her last night as I thought it was a bad idea, especially after a few drinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I know I shouldn't do this... And it may seem "stalkerish" but I just looked on her facebook, and the fella I had suspisions about is no longer her friend on there, or I can see him on there anyway! Not sure what to think now... it wasn't ever him and maybe it's someone else? She's doing the same to him as she is to me, e.g. doesn't know what she wants and this maybe why she tell me it's over? For some reason I want to add her back to facebook, and say "Sorry, I'm re adding you cos I dont want to lose you as a friend" lol - But don't worry, I'm not going to do it! I'm going to stay strong is all i keep telling my self! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Dude if you really really wanna contact her go ahead. NC isn't the law man. None of us here know here dude perhaps she'll be responsive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dlar Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 No, I need to stay NC, at least for another week or so and see how I feel. The thoughts and feelings are immense man, never known anything like it! But I feel better after I come and rant on here than if I was to just sit there by my self and not say anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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