xyzzzz Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 he is a store manager and there are two shifts : 7am till 3pm or 12pm will 8pm. so when he starts at 7, he often will stay longer for an extra 30 min or an hour. and if he starts at 12,he always leaves home one or two hour earlier than he needs too. i havent really had any second thought on it.he says he often just gets in early and have some chat to co-workers or allocate work to them to keep the store the way he likes. or sometimes he needs to train new staff or simply has lots of work to do so he has to finish late. but today i dont know why im starting to think into it. i wonder if he's doing anything else? any constructive advice as to how can i find out,or how can i talk to him /how to word ? i dont wanna just say "it's suspicious that you work so much" as it doesnt sound very reasonable. or am i just totally over-thinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 My ex had this type of job, exactly actually. He worked at a grocery store as a night stocker and then ended up getting promoted to assist. manager. I couldn't deal and we broke up over this and among other reasons. If I were to do it different, I wouldn't of gotten on his case so much. But then again, he is married now and has a kid on its way, maybe it was for the better...?....I don't know...Definetly would suggest to come see him at work, surprise visit!! bring him something homemade...like baked goods or something...Just so it doesnt look so obvious ur checking up on him. It could very much be another girl----Im sorry its just ive been through this---- it sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 It is good practice to come in 15 minutes to half an hour early. My boyfriend always leaves so he will be there that early in case there is unannounced construction traffic, weather delays, etc. While others might be late on a bad weather day, he is always the guy who is on time because he left early. Also, it gives time to ease into work with a cup of coffee, etc. Some people are conscientious and don't use the first half hour of their shift to use the bathroom and unwind. They are ready at their work station at 7 sharp. If your guy is in a managerial role or owns the store, I would not bat an eye for him staying just a little early or late. If he stays 5 hours late - yes, I would worry, but if its just an hour - its not always suspicious. He might just really, really want to keep his job and do a good job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agatha Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 managers where I work usually make two to three extra hours daily, depending on demand. after all, they're on charge. me, I usually stay some half hour regularly just to tidy my desk and put down my to-do-list for the next day or week. and on busier days, I get to do the same schedule my manager does (9 to 20). how does he go to work, btw? is there a lot of traffic? and honestly, I'd be awfully pissed to be questioned about what am I really doing when I say I'm working. if he wants to cheat on you, he will cheat on you. the thing here is - has he given you enough reason to be suspicious? are you positive? think again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyzzzz Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Havent noticed any apparent signs..hes still sweet to me and such..except he changed fb pic to. a half naked photo showin his abs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 yeah, thats a sign hes seeking attention. Do what I said and bring some baked goods ... see if he introduces any of the co-workers to you as his girlfriend or just a friend or if he wants u to bolt right away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyzzzz Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 He sometimes asks me to pick him up at work and he tells me how him and his coworkers talkin abt me and such.he wouldnt introduce me right away unless,they asked.however i think he already told everyone abt me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Okay then, well....if your his girlfriend, he should announce it, if he doesn't you aren't regardless what he says.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyzzzz Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 Okay then, well....if your his girlfriend, he should announce it, if he doesn't you aren't regardless what he says.... thing is..poping up at work isnt really practical. no one will have time for me not even 1 second. and i will just be disturbing everyone from work and look like an idiot myself...people will think im weird for sending out cupcakes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyzzzz Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 another thing is..whenever i feel uncomfortable about something he does,and when i try to tell him how i feel..he either get angry cuz i dont like what HE is doing.or he cut my word and start kissing me so i can shut up..like i was telling him the naked pic doesnt make me feel comfy and he gets annoyed and says im insecure and i dont trust him and just wouldnt believe i do trust him..and i asked "why do you just have to say im snoopy and think of me nagetively" he started to make out with me. im frustrated. tell me,is it really a red flag?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWNWRDSPRL Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 another thing is..whenever i feel uncomfortable about something he does,and when i try to tell him how i feel..he either get angry cuz i dont like what HE is doing.or he cut my word and start kissing me so i can shut up..like i was telling him the naked pic doesnt make me feel comfy and he gets annoyed and says im insecure and i dont trust him and just wouldnt believe i do trust him..and i asked "why do you just have to say im snoopy and think of me nagetively" he started to make out with me. im frustrated. tell me,is it really a red flag?! A man's point of view: Any man that doesn't care about your feelings enough to hear you out, hardly deserves your time and effort. If this were your husband I'd say to work on it. Boyfriend? Please. I'd not worry about his time at work and just cut him loose for not being caring and compassionate. If he cared, I would imagine he would listen to what your heart is telling him. I mean, are you better off with this guy? And the whole Facebook issue is foreign to me but a guy posting a pic like that screams of wanting attention. But modesty may be a lost art in this day and age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 cripes, no. Forget the cupcakes, don't stop by --- trust your bf. I'm thinking he posted his ab pict cause he's proud of them. You are looking for trouble that doesn't appear to exist and are going to drive him away with your distrust and snooping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I can't help you girl, your going to have to figure this out in your own time. It sounds like he isn't in love and it also sounds like hes cocky and doesn't really care what you feel..."hints" the picture of his abbs online and him not hearing you out. I think when you go to talk to him though, u have to be serious and when he goes to kiss you, id pull away and keep talking...If he still tries to change the subject, he prob doesn't see things from your point of view. If I were you, Id give him space...And I agree about the cupcake thing...I didn't mean bake for the whole team just bring one to him...But if you don't thats cool, whatever...Do what you want, you will regardless...=) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Ok so if he said he was horny, that a hint to help him out. We aren't required to but I usually help my man out if he says he is horny because Id like him to return the favor one of these days when I say those exact words. The problem with my previous relationship is...I was shy whenever he said it, or I would say it and not act on it. It was a pretty big deal because we basically turned into an old married couple who never did but once a month if even....It was mainly because I was self conscious or he was just too tired. The kissing thing worries me. Its like putting your finger infront of a women/mans lip whenever they go to say how they feel in depth. Ive done it before myself because I didn't want to fall for the guy. Well I did end up falling for him regardless. If I were you Id have another talk with him, only maybe while he's taking a shower, maybe get in with him...Before bed is another good time to talk. Id refraine talking to him right after work because thats mostlly when they are the most stressed and prob need some unwind time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Thirty minutes to an hour can happen. It's work. Sometimes I get held over working an extra three or four. But if you start noticing that he's taking a change of clothes with him. That may be a different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 My boyfriend gets to work an hour or more early everyday, every single day. In his 21 years of working here, he has NEVER been late. Do I think he's up to no good? No, I don't. He gets here early and likes to socialize. Not everyone that goes into work early or stays late is doing something bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xyzzzz Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 what if he buys things for coworkers? he said he;s gotta buy a bottle of wine to a girl who works for him cuz he challenged her to do something real fast and if she can do it he'd buy her wine.he didnt think she'd do it but actually she managed to... that's kinda new to me..my manager never did that to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I think it really depends on the work environment and the type of relationship you have with your workers. Think of it this way, at least he's not hiding it from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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