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Should I date my friend's cousin and another guy without telling them?


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I decided to start dating again. I met a guy on a dating website and we hit if off. We are making plans to meet and cook together and literally after speaking to each other agreed that we really like each other and will give dating a try...we have both been single for a while. I am excited. Then there is my very close friend's cousin who likes me. He, my friend and I have hung out together a few times. We started chatting and texting and he asked me out. I always had a little crush on him, but decided not to act on it because he's my friend's cousin and if it doesn't work out it may be an issue and also he is 7 years younger than me. But he keeps saying he needs a woman not a girl, I'm 33 and he is about to turn 26.


If I date my friend's cousin and the other guy I won't be able to tell my friend, which would be hard because we always talk about who we are dating. I would be put in a position to lie and I don't want to do that. But after 4 years singles I don't want to pass up an opportunity to date men I like. In 4 years I have not really dated anyone that I really liked now I have two at once. I definitely would not have a relationship with two people, but what do I do about the dating situation right now when I want both?

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Of course you won't be in a relationship with two - usually people date two people a few times to decide who clicks and then when someone seems like a match the others drop off.


Normally, you are not obligated to tell people you are simply going on a date with that you are dating others - if you decide you like them and want to continue dating, then you no longer accept dates from the others, etc. However, I think the friend's cousin is a sensitive situation if you have known eachother a long time and it has been unrequited for awhile. How do you feel about the cousin? Is there real potential there? In other words, is it just about his interest? Anyway, I think I would just date the first guy and see how it goes if you really like him. But if you are just in the mode of accepting dates from a variety of men - going out a handful of times to see who clicks - I would just be honest with the friend - that her cousin is texting you and you are on the dating scene dating different guys, so this gives everyone the heads up. You are free to communicate with who you choose, but it will become a problem if you get exclusive with guy #1. I think you are right that its a sensitive thing if it doesn't work out with the cousin. No harm in meeting for coffee to see if you click, but if you have reservations but no reservations about guy #1, I would see where it goes with guy #1, but that's just me. I know I am rambling but I don't really think you want both - I think maybe if he didn't express interest you wouldn't have thought of the cousin because he's related to your friend.

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