Why can't I make her come?

[anthony06]

This question is for women. No disrespect to dudes, I just doubt you actually know.

 

I've started dating this girl who I know is crazy about me. She's always wanting to have sex, which is good, but she never comes. We've been having sex like rabbits for 2 weeks, but I'm the only one getting off and its bothering me. She claims I can't do anything better, that its "muscle memory," and that she's not worried about it because it will come with time. That being said, 2 weeks of non-stop sex with no orgasms leads me to suspect something in our sex life/relationship is lacking for her. Clearly I need to be patient and let her come around, but being a man, I'm not trying to wait. What might be the problem? I know she has toys and has no problem getting off on her own, so I feel its not a lack of her understanding her own body, but more of an issue of feeling comfortable with me, etc. Any female perspectives would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

[Ariel85]

Can she make herself orgasm through masturbation?

[agent1607307371]

Maybe she just needs more stimulation than she can get through sex. Penetration does not = orgasm. Try incorporating the toys.

 

 

Also, resist the temptation to make this about you. It's about her and her body.

[jumper11]

It could be a lot of things. She could just have difficulty. Or not know her body well enough. Or because its a new relationship. Or getting used to a new partner- this can be VERY true. For woman its more in our heads, so.

 

Everyone is different!

[tresqua]

Maybe your oral skills need some work?

 

Don't forget a lot of it is all about the build up. Anticipation is everything.

[mouseno4]

Dont be afraid to either manually make her come with fingers or ask her to do it instead. Making sure she comes just as easily as yourself is a big positive in her mind. (usually anyway)

[delicous]

I thought I was incapable of cumming, but I have realized I wasn't. What I was doing wrong was holding back...I was afraid Id pass gas or something worse may happen...So I never tried useing the muscles and actually pushing...And also kegaling while sex is amazing...Umm ask her if she knows what kegals are, won't hurt to find out, if so...Ask her to do it during sex because it makes ur penis feel so good...

Uumm...If you get her gspot while fingering her and press in the come hither motion and corner it against her inside vaginal walls she may end up loving it. Its worth a try, it worked for me 7x on the same night and then again that morning lol...Key is to not be afraid to hurt her ...Do what u feel based on her reaction, if shes moaning you may have hit the mother load =)

 

How many partner has she had sexually? Try not to rush the love making like kiss her neck and work your way down very slowely...Making out is a +...Eat her out and get her nice and wet prior to putting your (1) finger inside of her. Also just something else I thought of, Smell her...It sounds weird but if she smells kinda fishy---uuuum she might have an infection so be careful...You can get a oral infection if you don't be careful. She could be holding off for that exact reason because she doesn't feel like she taste or smells good. I can't cum during sexual intercourse which ive grown to realize but I can if he gets my gspot correctly.

 

Hope this helps! =)

[InvisibleWound]

I rarely get off through penetrative sex. A lot of the time these days I only get off if my clitoris is being stimulated. If my boyfriend has me extremely aroused or can last a really long time then I can get off through penetrative sex.

 

The fact that you both are having sex a lot and she wants sex a lot is a good thing. The best advice I can give is to make sure your using a lot of foreplay, get her extremely aroused, stimulate her clit while being in missionary or doing doggy style. And it doesn't always have to be sex. Make it about her and maybe just do oral, and see if she gets off. Have you given her oral without it leading to sex?

 

The other thing you can is talk as openly as you can, ask her what she likes, fav positions are, etc... One sure way I have got off through sex with my boyfriend is to masturbate while he is ontop of me in missionary, I have not done this often but it always works.

 

Hope this helps and good luck!

[delicous]

any word back? Lol is sex better?

[Inquirer89]

It's not you that's having a problem, she may not be able to come for many different reasons. I know it's very hard for me to come while having intercourse, I have to have some serious tunnel vision mentally because my mind tends to race about random crap and sometimes it's hard to stop it. It may just be she needs to work on focusing on having the orgasm instead of worrying out this and that.

[xyzzzz]

maybe she's hard to come,maybe she just cant come.i cant.never a man has made me come. but i can do it by myself.

but it;s not always something to worry about. this never affected my sex life,nor my love towars my bf. this never affected anything in my life.

[anthony06]

Thanks guys! Still no coming, but still lots of sex. I haven't tried the kegal suggestion, but thats something I hadn't thought of. Many thanks!

[mistawolf]

your not the only one out there anthony06. we are trying the kegel at the moment, and shes struggling with it but its sure as hell fun to watch at the moment =P

[Weeb]

Also, resist the temptation to make this about you. It's about her and her body.

Absolutely. I felt terrible when my ex took it personally when I didn't get off (sex worked, but oral didn't), and I've been called "difficult" a few times. If she says she's not concerned about it now, you kind of have to take her on her word. Two weeks is still really early on, and being able to orgasm with a partner often is a comfort/mental thing for many women. Also, if you aren't doing it already, the manual stimulation with sex is a good suggestion. And oral is usually good!

[delicous]

she just needs to push out...it will happen...she might be afraid of farting or queefing or something silly like that...

Id just relax and in return she will be more relaxed, be slow and steady and don't try too hard...on the clit, our clits

MEN----Are very sensitive...I still can't figure out WHY you men like to press so darn hard on them...circular motion for me lightly then a little harder then lightly again is good for me, but then again I have learned to communicate that by saying...SOFTER or HARDER...Us women aren't all as vocal as me, but garentee you we will feel MORE pleasure if you would just knock it off!! lol

[DarkSoul]

Have you tried giving her oral and making her come that way? Many women are unable to reach orgasm with penetration alone - rest assured it's still very enjoyable. It could be a comfort thing for her as well. Obviously if she still wants to jump in bed with you things are going fine and she enjoys it regardless. If it really bothers you why not bring one of her toys to bed and use that to get her off first?

 

Personally I have no problem achieving orgasm by myself but have only ever done so with my first boyfriend and none since (that was 8 years ago). I agree with the post stating not to make this about you. My most recent ex took it personally until I faked one just to get him to stop making ME feel guilty that HE couldn't make me orgasm. Just enjoy your time together and stop worrying.

 

Edited to add: A common mistake I've noticed is using the same speed/pressure nonstop. With repeated stimulation that isn't varied we just get numb down there. So make sure you're changing things up...and pay attention to her response.