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Feel totally lost in life


Lifelesson

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I feel completely lost in my life. I was valedictorian of my class in high school, went to college and graduated magna cum laude with an engineering degree, and enjoyed my classes all along. I did some extra curriculars, but didn't work during college. I worked during the summers and took out loans during the year. When I took my first job out of college, it was about a half hour from my hometown. I thought I needed to go see the country and 'make something of myself' so I quit that job and moved halfway accross the country for another job. I've been there 4 months and hate it with a passion. It's not difficult by any means, but I'm utterly useless there because of a combination of my personal life/loneliness, etc.

 

So I got offered a position to work as a grad research assistant and get my masters in a similar field to my undergrad degree. The master's would be in the coursework I enjoyed most in college, but I'm terrified I'll start down that track and be unhappy too. Only there I'll be making less money and be committed to something I shouldn't give up. When I think of the things I really enjoy: being outside, working with my hands, having variety to my day, I don't know if I can fit those things into my current career track. The problem is, those things are in generally unstable fields, as well. Something like a general contractor is very boom/bust, and I don't feel like I have the discipline to run my own business and get my own clients. I feel so apathetic to the world. I feel horrible.

 

Compounding this is the fact that I'm eternally single and that gets me down. I feel like I can't even function like a normal person. I've never felt this way before in my life. I've always felt that I was successful, well liked by those around me, and that those things should translate into a normal, healthy life for me. Maybe by some accounts my life is normal, but I certainly don't feel like it. I'm on anti-depressents, but I don't know if they're working. I think some of this is normal growing angst, but I can't cope.

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You have to learn how to do the things you love in the time your company gives you away from work. I like working with my hands too - and I do it, in my free time off work. And it feels GREAT! Last weekend I spent my time on three INVOLVED furniture projects, and this next weekend I have three more on the front burners RIGHT NOW. They have nothing to do with my career, but it feels great doing them.

 

So if you have the money, buy a home and get your "Hands-On" jollies out working on your home. then when you go to work, you have something to work towards once you're done, and you may find more energy towards your job.

 

I don't have any solutions to the solitude, though. That's up to you. I have a club I belong to, which is a hobby club, and we're a very narrow focus - and I love it. You may find something similar.

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Well, that's part of my problem. If I would have stayed at my old job, I could have saved up the money to buy a house. Houses were cheap there and I was making pretty good money. Now my situation is the complete opposite. I realize now that I could have done exactly what you describe, but my path has veered away from that option.

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Well, that's part of my problem. If I would have stayed at my old job, I could have saved up the money to buy a house. Houses were cheap there and I was making pretty good money. Now my situation is the complete opposite. I realize now that I could have done exactly what you describe, but my path has veered away from that option.

 

Why not apply for your old job and see what happens?

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Dont be too hard on yourself. If you fail at something, so what, now you know what to not do. If you don't like this job, do something else. If I were you, I would take up the research assistant position and see how I feel about it. You can always leave it.

Don't worry about being single. If love happens, you will know, until then focus on yourself and building a career for yourself that you will be happy with.

I highly recommend taking strengths finder test and briggs Meyer personality test if you are looking to find a career fit for your personality. Good luck!

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