its 2011 what attracts women now?

[carbie]

i mean seriously, its 2011 and all the old tactics i use to have, like a PERSONALITY, a good sense of HUMOR. those use to work, now it seems because im older that i need MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, did i mention MONEY? or good looks, yes i said it, good looks like u have to be a friggen movie star or a male underwear model to get a women to say HI to u. i mean the rejection in this day in age is friggen ridiculous, buy a nice lady a drink and she takes it and walks the F**K away. huh? what is that? it makes me sick that i have to go out and change my looks and everything about me, waste money on expensive clothes, shoes, hats, jackets, thats it, right? what ever happened to having a nice conversation and then maybe meeting for dinner on another day, guess that doesnt work anymore does it? very sad

[Ms Darcy]

Well, is the only way you are trying to meet women through bars?

[NightLily]

Maybe you are going after the wrong women? If she looks high maitenance or is wearing fancy clothes that might be what she is interested in. Personality isn't enough. Most women want to know that I guy is stable, can support himself as far as money goes. Look clean and present yourself well but you don't need expensive clothes.

[Leftright]

Every woman is different, Some might be nicer than others. obvously you're looking in the wrong places. Night clubs are by far the worst place to meet someone, hands down. Have you enrolled yourself in community activities, clubs, or classes? Try that...You might be surprised...

 

-LR

[dramallama]

I agree with Ms Darcy that perhaps you should meet women through volunteering or a new hobby.

 

Confidence, humour, own interests, self esteem and assuredness, good style and clean grooming habits, direction in life, are all things that have always attracted women and always will. There's a saying that it's not even how much a man makes or how good looking he is that attracts a woman - but how he makes her FEEL.

[jas56]

Carbie, this may be no consolation but as a young lady with alot going for myself (school, work, etc) I find it to be equally as hard. I agree that perhaps its the environment? Personally for me, it isn't all about money but I would like a guy that could take care of himself and has his priorities straight. Sorry that you literally have to transform yourself because seriously, how long could you keep up that charade if thats not something you enjoy anyway? And if you have to do that just to impress a girl perhaps she isn't worth the time if its clear that she is that materialistic. Should you look nice on a date? Sure, but you shouldn't have to go thru a huge transformation every time. Sadly, i guess I can only speak for myself in regards to what I would want but i would have to agree that in bars well.................................luck of the draw there the quality can go down drastically.

[Lamour detruit]

Never buy a random woman in the bar a drink unless you want to be taken advantage of. Big mistake. Other than that, plenty women that go for other things than money, 2011 is no different.

[Tique]

Don't generalize carbie. Not all women are as you described. I'm not. As the others suggested, you probably are looking in the wrong places for a mate. Try new social groups, new places. You might be surprised at what you find.

[bulletproof]

I think pretty much every long-term bf I've ever had shopped at Salvation Army. Not every woman fits your description. It sounds like you're talking about either online dating or meeting people randomly in places like bars. Perhaps you need another strategy.

[agatha]

the 'can I buy you a drink' is now read as 'can I buy you with a drink?' unless you have been talking to the girl for a while.

 

but I see where you come from, I have the opposite problem - where are those guys who'd try to strike an interesting convo instead of talking about clothes and cars?

 

about the looks, I don't know what goes into people's minds. I have 30 year old girl friends who won't go with a guy if he's less than in this or that shape. I honestly couldn't care less, as long as he's good in bed. honestly? I think they don't really know what they're looking for.

[Stay_home]

Dating has changed period.

 

People are not as appreciative as much as they were back in the day. Some of these women think that they're so entitled to recieving certain gifts and treatment from men. You cannot convince them otherwise of coming to their senses, so women like that you just have to leave them where you found them. It's not worth the trouble. Everything is about money these days and I'll be damn if somebody is going to tell me how to spend my money on them. For us to hang out and get to know each other is free. It doesn't take an expensive drink of overpriced champagne or a five-star meal that's going to break my pockets. For me, the idea of the date is for us to talk and see where our minds meet up.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Dating has changed period.

 

People are not as appreciative as much as they were back in the day. Some of these women think that they're so entitled to recieving certain gifts and treatment from men. You cannot convince them otherwise of coming to their senses, so women like that you just have to leave them where you found them.

 

Honestly, in my experience, it was faaaar worse in the past, specially in traditional cultures. Money was ALL that mattered...I'm surprised that the OP thinks NOW it is all about money. I think it's totally the opposite.

[mouseno4]

Here is my 0.02 AUD.

 

Vast majority of women i have ever met, are shallow. So shallow in fact, you dont even notice the depth of their own self infatuation.

 

But that has just been my experiences in 30 years of my life.

[abitbroken]

Stop meeting women in bars. Also, some women think buying them a drink means that a man is on the prowl for a hook up UNLESS she is enjoying his company and conversation for a lengthy amount of time and she orders a drink and he says "its on me" versus a man going up to a random woman with "can I buy you a drink?" or sending one accross the room. She feels he wants to obligate her to something. On the other hand, some women are flattered by the gesture but are more thinking its a game to see how many guys will buy them a drink. Its just an awkward situation all the way around. its sort of outmoded unless its the other case (they are enjoying eachother's conversation for quite awhile and he/she springs for an already ordered drink or "i am getting a drink, what can i get you.). Also some women are cautious about being liquored up around strangers.

 

I agree that meeting women in another setting is key.

 

btw, i do care about money but it only goes so far as a guy needs to have enough money to be able to feed himself, etc. I am not looking for a millionaire - just someone responsible with what they have even if it is $2.54

[resilient7]

the 'can I buy you a drink' is now read as 'can I buy you with a drink?' unless you have been talking to the girl for a while.

 

but I see where you come from, I have the opposite problem - where are those guys who'd try to strike an interesting convo instead of talking about clothes and cars?

 

about the looks, I don't know what goes into people's minds. I have 30 year old girl friends who won't go with a guy if he's less than in this or that shape. I honestly couldn't care less, as long as he's good in bed. honestly? I think they don't really know what they're looking for.

 

"As long as he's good in bed".....So in other words well endowed then.

[Stay_home]

Honestly, in my experience, it was faaaar worse in the past, specially in traditional cultures. Money was ALL that mattered...I'm surprised that the OP thinks NOW it is all about money. I think it's totally the opposite.

 

Nowadays it is all about money. I think the quality of the date is much more important than the amount of money spent.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Nowadays it is all about money. I think the quality of the date is much more important than the amount of money spent.

 

lets agree to disagree. I see my parents generation and mine, mine is way less shallow when it comes to money. In the past, many women married only because of money, so they have someone to pay for them. Now women make their own, lots of women even make more than their husbands. That could rarely be the case before.

[Stay_home]

lets agree to disagree. I see my parents generation and mine, mine is way less shallow when it comes to money. In the past, many women married only because of money, so they have someone to pay for them. Now women make their own, lots of women even make more than their husbands. That could rarely be the case before.

 

Maybe it's just an east coast thing???

[agatha]

"As long as he's good in bed".....So in other words well endowed then.

 

I never said that, and from my experience, never would. a medium size matched with good hands and lips is fine enough. thing is, I like long love-making sessions (2-3 hours minimum), and that takes some stamina to endure... other variables count for the quality of the act, and they vary day by day, person by person.

[mouseno4]

One of my ex's wanted me to go literally all night.

 

"How does no thank you sound to you?"

[mad rabbits]

Maybe you are going after the wrong women? If she looks high maitenance or is wearing fancy clothes that might be what she is interested in. Personality isn't enough. Most women want to know that I guy is stable, can support himself as far as money goes. Look clean and present yourself well but you don't need expensive clothes.

 

This might be something to consider.

 

A male friend of mine has been complaining lately that the quality of the women out there is garbage and they are all superficial and stupid. Upon probing he was selecting women to date because he liked their boobs or their teeth or legs etc... so it's not really surprising is it?

[Teaday]

Most the guys I've dated were dirt poor. Maybe it's just because I live in a college town where EVERYONE is a little bit strapped for cash, but I don't see money being a prominent factor in a female's decision to date someone.

 

The only problem I've had with dating poor guys is dealing with their complex that they're treating me poorly since they can't afford to buy me things. They get really weird about it and assume that they'll be judged solely on their income, which isn't the case. It's tough to constantly reassure someone they you actually LIKE grilling at the park more than sitting at stuffy fancy restaurants.

[mad rabbits]

Most of the guys I have dated have had no money either, actually I supported a few of them for various periods of time... I agree it is more an issue of how it impacts their self esteem

[mouseno4]

Hate to break it to girls and guys, but both women and men can be just as shallow as each other.

 

This is where the stereotypes come from.

 

Women only want personal trainers, with massive penises, endless credit card limits and expensive cars.

 

Men only want fashion models, with big breasts, skyscraper legs, looks good 24/7 and wants sex for the same amount of time.

[thejigsup]

I'm a woman in 2011 and I feel I must make this point: What is wrong with wanting a man with money? It isn't cancer or anything, it's a GOOD thing! Men with money can travel with you, buy you nice things, live in nice houses, all good things. Men without money borrow from you, live in crappy places, and take you out for fast food. Nope. Not on my shift. Now, money isn't everything, if he has money but he's a jerk, nope, no go. If he is selfish and petty, again, no go.

 

I want a man with money, who is very, very, intelligent, doesn't lose his temper, laughs with me, understands my need to work two jobs and go to school (just finished my 4th degree and am starting my fifth next week), loves cats, and loves San Diego (my favorite city, east coasters need not appy). You can say that man doesn't exist, but he did and we were together for twelve years before he died. He will be a hard act to follow, but follow him they must.

 

Looks are not the most important thing to me and I would never even go in a bar, so I don't send drinks back, that's rude. Bars are not good places to meet quality people. That is the op's problem. He is searching for a diamond in a compost heap. Go where the quality women go, and most often it's not in bars.