herbabyboy Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Hi all, I have a somewhat embarrassing problem. I've been married for several months now to my gorgeous bride. I couldn't love her more and I love our life together. But there is something I've been dying to ask her and haven't worked up the courage. The truth is that I have always had a very strong diaper fetish since I was quite young. I've had the desire to wear them and to be treated like a baby... I don't know why I've had these feelings, but I have and can't deny them. It's my deepest desire for her to make me her baby in the bedroom. To diaper me, and treat me like an infant. My perfect weekend would involve her playing the part of my caretaker, putting me in a diaper, having me crawling around on a blanket on the floor, sucking on a pacifier, having her rub baby oil and baby powder on me. She would hold me in her arms and talk to me in sweet baby talk, and feed me baby food, and breastfeed me too. And she would bathe me and change me when I needed it and put me down for naps, and let me watch cartoons, and spank me if I was bad. Anyways... Many of you may be horrified by this thought, but it turns me on like crazy, so please don't hate... I just want advice. Do you think a woman might be interested in this? It seems like it would be such a power trip for her... Should I ask her to diaper me? I want to so badly, but I'm afraid she'll think I'm a pathetic freak. What would you do if your significant other brought this up to you? Thanks all!
chitown9 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 If you ask her to do that I think that she would divorce you.
pumpkinmoon Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'm going to be brutally honest. I had a male friend who told me he had a fetish like this. He always hints at dates and a relationship with me, and although I was never interested in him in that way, this put me off even further. There is no way that I would be comfortable engaging in activity such as this. That's just me. Maybe your wife would see things differently but it isn't something I would ever do.
Moontiger Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 A diaper fetish is more common then one would think. You have nothing to be ashamed of! I honestly don't know how to tell your wife though. Maybe just sit down with her and say you have something to ask her that is very embarrassing, that its hard for your to say and you would like to just listen.
Cadence44 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 First I think we'd need to know her general attitude about kinks and fetishes. Is she already willing to experiment in other ways or is she more straight-laced?
LIzardKing Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Yea just be honest with her. You should be able to open up to her. After all she is your wife. Chris
herbabyboy Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 She is generally pretty open minded, she was the first one to get out the ropes and try some bondage type stuff... And she really seems to like taking control sometimes...
-Sanguine- Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 If my husband told me that was his fantasy, I would not divorce him. That is a bit extreme. I would be open to hearing his thoughts on it and not think any less of him. I would have to seriously consider whether or not I would want to partake in that, though. I am fairly open minded when it comes to things like that. I think, as your wife, you should be able to talk to her about this without feeling ashamed. Rather, you should be able to talk to her about this without HER making YOU feel ashamed. I would not ask her to "diaper" you, so to speak - that creates pressure. I would just mention it to her and gauge her reaction because her reaction will probably let you know if she would ever be open to something like that. If not, that's her choice, but at least you have told her how you feel.
Moontiger Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 She might be open to this then. Tell her but make it clear that if it makes her uncomfortable then you guys don't have to do it.
FathomFear Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 While having a diaper fetish is relatively common as far as fetishes go, it's hard to say how she would react. I think your primary mistake here is that you waited until now (post-marriage) to bring this to the surface. If this truly is a critical component of your sexuality, you really should have revealed it earlier in the relationship. That way you would know whether she would be comfortable with pursuing it. Having said that, if I were in your shoes I would try to indirectly investigate how she would respond. Casually mention, for example, that you read a story on a major news site about a fetish. Then just see how she reacts. From there I would decide whether to pursue it further. While I don't advocate being dishonest I do think that you're being rather unfair to her by trying to press this issue after you married her.
herbabyboy Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 This is all really good advice... I think I'm mostly just afraid that she will think I'm pathetic to want to act like, and be treated as a baby... I don't know how she could ever look at me as a man again in her eyes... I crave and long to be laying on my back, sucking my thumb, as she changes my diaper, blows a raspberry on my tummy and tells me what a good little boy I am for letting mommy change my messy diaper... But I'm scared I could never go back to being a confident man again after that kind of regression...
FathomFear Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Well, are you a confident man? I wouldn't worry about not being seen as a confident man if that's not what you are.
sara-pezzini Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 as much as i love my BF and would do anything for him, i would want him to feel safe enough to be able to tell me this, without a doubt, wouldn't laugh or judge him, but i also don't think i could do it......this would put me off so terribly and i don't think i could ever see him as the man i love if i treated him like a baby with a diaper once......but i would like it if he felt safe enough to tell me...and who knows, maybe i would try it once for him if it meant that much, but it would be very very difficult and offputting to me
oldenoughtoknow Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Oh wow, this is a pretty big thing to bring up after you're married. Have you ever actually done this before with a previous partner? I could see doing something I'm less than crazy about once or twice a month, as part of our normal sex life. But to do it for an entire weekend? I think you'd better let that one go. I agree that I would bring it up to her slowly. Since she is into other fetishes, that does give you some hope. Ask a few leading questions in the general subject area. Don't dive straight into the whole scenario. Then, check her reaction and continue to explore the idea if she appears positive. I have to ask, what are you going to do if she says she HATES the idea?
herbabyboy Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Oldenough: for religious reasons, both of us were virgins when we married. Neither had ever done anything sexual with anyone else. But I've always had the desire. If she said she hated it... I don't know what I would do, I would be crushed and feel like she thought I was a freak... It would really take a long time for me to come back from that, but after that, I would do my best to bury those feelings and not give into them anymore. I love my wife more than anything in the world, and my own desires come second place to her in my mind.
PhilliesFan001 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I really feel for you OP. I always feel bad for people who have fetishes that are more "out of the norm" than others, because you can't exactly control what you're turned on by, and you deserve to be just as sexually satisfied as anybody else. I've never had that fetish but I can imagine how hard it must be to divulge to somebody. I don't know what advice I can give...there's a good chance she'll react negatively but of course also a chance she won't. Are there ways you can maybe bring it up slowly, in baby steps? Or maybe you can find an online community of people who share this fetish, and ask them for advice on how to ask a partner to indulge you in this?
Day_Walker Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Since this is something that youre into, it wouldnt be in your best interests to keep it a secret. I dont know how willing she will be but you should put it out there and see how she responds.
oldenoughtoknow Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Oldenough: for religious reasons, both of us were virgins when we married. Neither had ever done anything sexual with anyone else. But I've always had the desire. If she said she hated it... I don't know what I would do, I would be crushed and feel like she thought I was a freak... It would really take a long time for me to come back from that, but after that, I would do my best to bury those feelings and not give into them anymore. I love my wife more than anything in the world, and my own desires come second place to her in my mind. Well, then as other posters have suggested, I would approach this very slowly. Since she is open to mild fetishes, there's a chance she will be okay with alternatives. Which alternatives she would okay with is the big question. If you start by bringing up general topics, you can gauge her level of interest/acceptance. You may want to do this in waves, over a period of weeks or even months. If she balks at some point and you drop the inquiry, you should be able to walk away without her thinking any differently about you. From there, well, you have to live with your unrequited desire. But if done right, I think you can probe her interest without letting yours be known.
tattoobunnie Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I've been in the Adult Briefs industry for over 17 years, and Diaper Fetishes are incredibly common. Most times it stems from an absence of a childhood (you had to take on adult responsibilities or methodologies at a very young age), so you desire to take on an infancy-like state. It gets amplified when you have extremely high-pressured jobs that require you to make tough and extensive decisions, and you desire to develop an alternate world where you are to be taken care of completely. It's true with what some of the posters said...considering this is an ingrained part of your sexual desires, it should have been shared prior to marriage. Though, it's not fly-by-night...you will just need to take a day where you let her know you have something really important to share, and you hope that she may be open to it. Keep in mind, just like any preference, S & M, homosexuality, heterosexuality, bondage, group, etc...people don't just come around and change their preferences to accommodate their partner. People are the way they are. I also know that if you suppress satisfying this fetish or preference, it will find ways into other areas of your life. Or you may find yourself looking for something to support you in this preference. So see what she will have to say first. You could do it the slow way, but she may not even fathom of your needs.
tresqua Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I crave and long to be laying on my back, sucking my thumb, as she changes my diaper, blows a raspberry on my tummy and tells me what a good little boy I am for letting mommy change my messy diaper... Just don't drop a load, at least not the first time.
tiredofvampires Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I can understand how -- now that you've explained you're from a religious background and waited for marriage to have sex -- you didn't bring this up before marriage. My initial reaction to this was that my repugnance about the fetish itself would be secondary -- with my anger that you'd waited until we were married to disclose such a vital part of your sexuality being the greater of the issues. At least initially. But since you have a conservative background and weren't sexually intimate before with her, I can see how this topic may not have come up. (And while I'm not here to register an opinion one way or the other about premarital sex, this situation certainly points up the risk of sexual incompatibility when sex is not an open topic until the commitment of marriage.) I am of the mind that anything we try to repress only gets stronger over time. That is the way "dirty secrets" eat away at people. So I don't think the plan to keep this in the closet, so to speak, is going to turn out well for you or your marriage. Of course it won't be a real boost for your marriage if you tell her and she's shocked, disgusted, put off, etc. -- but I think that faced with the two options, if it were me (which is a leap here, because she is not me, and she may have a different set of expectations and values around marriage), I would not want to be living a lie with my spouse. I would not want him living with something that is so important to him sexually being stuffed. I can understand withholding an innocuous, small-scale secret about something that happened in the past and it's done with, and if this was just a very mild interest that you find exciting but could forego, I'd say maybe treat it more cautiously and privately -- but this is an ongoing part of your psyche and it's not going away. For you to want her to indulge this for an entire weekend means that you're pretty consumed by this fantasy. You can't live your whole married life wondering if your wife would think you're a freak if she really knew your sexual inner life. Putting myself in her position -- given that it was part of my value system to marry someone going into the bedroom blind, I would feel I owe it to my partner to now be there with them as we reveal ourselves as who we are. At least, that is the presumption in theory of committing to someone with a full acceptance of who they are, going into a future of whatever that brings, including as intimate partners. That was the deal, wasn't it? I would not want my spouse to live a life of wretched silence after that. The risk is there that she will react negatively of course -- but I don't think stretching out the disclosure over a long period of time is going to help you much, since my opinion is that it's got to come out anyway and then if I were her, I'd feel strung along in retrospect. I think what I'd do is find an article/story about it that presents it in a non-stigmatized light, preferably featuring couples that engage in this fetish and how they make it work within a normal marriage/partnership. I'd start by showing it to her and asking her to read it out of interest -- and certainly you'll get a reaction one way or the other from that, but I wouldn't let that determine whether or not I told her. I would just use that as a springboard to saying that you're one of the guys that has this type of fetish and that you've been extremely fearful of her reactions and feel exposed, but you felt she deserved to know. I would suggest you not use polarizing words in early discussions like "freak." There's no real way of knowing how she'll react until she does -- but I think at that point it'll come down to your telling her you're willing to forego this if she really can't imagine doing any of it because this is not what you got married for. But then the dialogue would turn into what she may or may not consider and it'd give her a chance to think about what she'd be okay trying out, because chances are she's never even given this thought. Tell her there's really no rush to do anything about it, but you just want to keep the communication -- and the doors open -- to thinking about it. Then that's when you can gingerly take your time revisiting the topic together, and you can see if she's warming up at all to the idea over time. If not, then you'll cross those bridges when you get there, but at least you'll have the cards out on the table and both of you will know why and where things should head.
Realitynut Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 If you were my husband, it would really turn me off....by heh...you're not!!! To me sex or making love is all about loving and caring. I'm not into fetishes at all, but then again I'm older... I was thinking, since I do massage...instead of saying you want to be diapered and suck a pacifier, why don't you do some of the other things you mentioned that weren't so babyish. (you see, I couldn't "make love" to a baby---turn off) You said you wanted baby oil and powder to be applied. Why don't you say something along these lines: You know I always liked the smell and feel of a baby, and the care and loving a baby recieves. I think maybe I missed that growing up and sometimes I want to be "babied" a little. Would you care if you rubbed some baby oil lovingly around my bottom (and other parts). Then if that goes well, bring out the powder. make it more like a massage, and then you can do the same to her. You can also say, now you can spank your babyboy for not giving you want you want...or some such thing.... Just a thought. Not quite such a turn off...but a start at mentioning your secret desires. Some women are married to men who like to dress like women. Turn off to me also. But hey, different strokes for different folks, especially if you love them. So start with the oil, powder and spanking. Not with the diaper, and pacifier, and the whole 9 yards!!! Might be a little too much all at once!!! If ya know what I mean...Good luck.
greywolf Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 If it were me, my first reaction would be to be upset that I had not been told before. I know this is a common fetish, and I consider myself a fairly sexually open person, however, I think this might bother me. It's just not something I find sexy. If my hypothetical husband were to approach me with this, I would be more open to the idea if he informed me about this fetish, rather than asking me to do it with him. If he informed me about it, I could mull it over, and take time to get used to the idea. The latter would be just too much pressure for me, and I would resent it.
jenny_mcs Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 My perfect weekend would involve her playing the part of my caretaker, putting me in a diaper, having me crawling around on a blanket on the floor, sucking on a pacifier, having her rub baby oil and baby powder on me. She would hold me in her arms and talk to me in sweet baby talk, and feed me baby food, and breastfeed me too. And she would bathe me and change me when I needed it and put me down for naps, and let me watch cartoons, and spank me if I was bad. Honestly, this sounds like a complete nightmare for your partner if she is not into your fetish. So, after working hard all week, her reward is to come home and attend your every need all weekend long? While you loll around, sucking on a pacifier and pooping your pants? I think you need to take a step back from your completely self-centered fantasy and try and re-think this in a way that *might* be the least bit fun & satisfying for her.
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