dolorosa Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 How can I guy say I love you and plan a whole life with you and 6 weeks later disappear, and by disappear I mean... changing phone number, email, everything? I know I am dealing with total rejection and I might never get answers but from a guy point of view, how can somebody could be so strong to do this? I am asking guys because I believe girls are more understanding (if that is the word, guys do not get mad at me) in some way. I have breaking up with few guys before I always try to somehow keep comunication and make the other person believe is not totally their fault. Any comments are appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeahyeahyeah Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 How can I guy say I love you and plan a whole life with you and 6 weeks later disappear, and by disappear I mean... changing phone number, email, everything? I know I am dealing with total rejection and I might never get answers but from a guy point of view, how can somebody could be so strong to do this? I am asking guys because I believe girls are more understanding (if that is the word, guys do not get mad at me) in some way. I have breaking up with few guys before I always try to somehow keep comunication and make the other person believe is not totally their fault. Any comments are appreciated. AS a guy who is not ignoring his ex. I will tell you why we end up doing it. My ex is basically moving on (she broke it off), now everytime I speak to her, memories of our time together come into my head. I then start to miss the girl, only to be left frustrated and sad that we are no longer together. Also, since post-breakup, it feels like I am walking on egg shells with her, anything negative has decreased her value and in her head probably justifies WHY it was a good thing that she broke up with me. So put it this way. It's not that we don't WANT to do it, we do it , because we basically realise that there is no point communicating anyway. Also feels so weird talking to her like a friend, when I have seen her naked and slept with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Dol, Well once for me as a man, the girl was literally to beautiful to a point of scared she was literally a twin of the girl in the movie the "fifth element". SO I disappeared as a means of terminating the relationship. There was no auguements, cheating etc. I was simply scared and now in my old age and wisdom what to be scared about. There was nothing but at the time there was. So one male angle. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hello678 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 AS a guy who is not ignoring his ex. I will tell you why we end up doing it. My ex is basically moving on (she broke it off), now everytime I speak to her, memories of our time together come into my head. I then start to miss the girl, only to be left frustrated and sad that we are no longer together. Also, since post-breakup, it feels like I am walking on egg shells with her, anything negative has decreased her value and in her head probably justifies WHY it was a good thing that she broke up with me. So put it this way. It's not that we don't WANT to do it, we do it , because we basically realise that there is no point communicating anyway. Also feels so weird talking to her like a friend, when I have seen her naked and slept with her. VERY good response. I agree about the eggshells. The problem is too they can say practically whatever they want "Oh i went out here and had the best time" and if you say anything negative you truly are in the complete * * * * . Everytime you get jealous it just reduces your value in their head. And if you act needy that reduces it 10 fold. Basically, your up * * * * creek regardless of what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeahyeahyeah Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 VERY good response. I agree about the eggshells. The problem is too they can say practically whatever they want "Oh i went out here and had the best time" and if you say anything negative you truly are in the complete * * * * . Everytime you get jealous it just reduces your value in their head. And if you act needy that reduces it 10 fold. Basically, your up * * * * creek regardless of what you do. Exactly what is happening to me right now. Basically I am finding that I am supplicating so much to her like a * * * * * , like now I sent a flirtatious text message...no response. Although, I am lucky in some ways...I can just disappear if I really have to, which is now looking inevitable, we are in different countries, she is not integrated in my social network etc etc Still such a shame, had a relationship with a girl, and just like that it is over. Guess the only way I can ever increase my value, is if I leave her alone, and we bump into each other with me being high value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolorosa Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 I apprecitaed the asnwers guys, but in this case is the other way around, he broke up with me... for the past 3 weeks he has ignored me completely, even change his phone number, this is 6 after he said he loves me and asked me to move to Scotland with him. I still can not understand why anyone could change so quick to the point he has changed his humber? Have any of you ignore your ex girlfriend before, I can only guess, he was not in love and the only way to get out of the relationship quick is by blocking me out of his life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Well, you can never really know someone else. A lot of guys just say things to avoid conflict or keep you as a booty call till they find someone better. When they do, they're gone and don't want the drama of dealing with the other person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrowingIn Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Same reasons as women: -they are not truly in love when are saying these things, and they may not even know it -they are not truly in love and not ready to leave yet, or not prepared to hurt your feelings yet(string you along) -they lie -they string you along on purpose -they do love you but are scared of commitment and change their mind -they stop loving you -they found someone else and may be looking at starting something with that person -they cheated and their feelings towards you have changed and they no longer want to be with anyone -They do love you and have some other reason that you may or may never find out. This is the rarest of them all(but it still has to do with some form of fear). The most common ones are above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
italiannmf24 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 We ignore our exes because it allows us to heal and forget about the past/move on. Some guys will do it due to anger and disgust. Others will just do it because they assume the relationship is over for good so there's no point in communicating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonasWaingaro Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 How can I guy say I love you and plan a whole life with you and 6 weeks later disappear, and by disappear I mean... changing phone number, email, everything? I know I am dealing with total rejection and I might never get answers but from a guy point of view, how can somebody could be so strong to do this? I am asking guys because I believe girls are more understanding (if that is the word, guys do not get mad at me) in some way. I have breaking up with few guys before I always try to somehow keep comunication and make the other person believe is not totally their fault. Any comments are appreciated. It's not just guys. It's been almost 2 years and I've heard nothing from my ex - nothing. People do this for a variety of reasons I guess. It hurts and really really devalues the entire relationship if you ask me. And the one left clueless does take on all the blame, which isn't fair but the way it goes. Hard to share blame when you only have one side to ponder. I don't have an answer for you, but you aren't alone. Happens to a lot of folks, men and women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live-N-Learn Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Another one that is rare but possible. They really do care about you as a person and know that having contact with you will only hurt you and make it worse because they do not want you back romantically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 The real reason we ignore our exes is we hate their freakin guts and hope they die nasty, miserable, lonely deaths wracked with guilt, sorrow and regret. Or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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