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Quite a Pickle


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So, this is sort of a long and complicated story that I really would like some advice on. - I'll just jump right into it.


So basically, about 3 years ago I met this girl in a summer voice-over get together/club. We became fast friends and really hit it off, and on many occasions I was able to honestly say she was the best friend I ever had. Though as cliche as it sounds, it wasn't long before I was head over heels for her. Problem at the time was the she had a boyfriend that she had been going out with for a long time, and they were planning on actually visiting Germany together on some trip. Not wanting to torture myself by waiting, I starting going out on dates with other girls and eventually had a girlfriend myself, though I don't even know if I wanted one or if I was just lonely. As fate would have it, her boyfriend ended up cheating on her, and they broke it off. Not long after, I had a mutual break up with the girl I had been seeing (but we stayed good friends afterward).


I comforted her and was always there when she needed someone to talk to, and if felt like our relationship had gotten so much closer, but she all of a sudden started talking to me about this guy that she liked and that he asked her out. As you can imagine I was all broken up by that. I told myself I was going to give up trying to be together with her, and I did the same thing I did last time. (Look for someone to fill that void)

She ended up breaking up with him eventually because he didn't end up being the nicest guy to her. I comforted her again and told her that she would find that perfect guy yadayada, and had hopes that we would get closer.


This happened two more times after this and I finally just lost all hope completely. We both happened to be single at the same time finally but I was the one that started going out with a different girl. Had to have been not two days after that, that she said "Oh my gosh, you didn't tell me you were going out with so and so!" and then confessed to me. I was dumbstruck and told her how long I had been waiting for her to say that. their was a pause and she just said "well our timing sucks haha" and it was left at that. We never talked about liking each other again.


I dated that girl for 8 or 9 months until this year in February. When I finally just realized that I wasn't in love with her, but was just lonely and wanted someone. (sort of like a little kid in a toy store, who can't afford the toy he wants, so he doesn't save like an adult would but instead buys the next best thing - awful awful mindset, but I realized how wrong I was and promised never to commit myself like that unless I really loved them.) Of course that entire time the thought of my friend who I had previously admired so was always in the back of my head. I returned to chasing after her. But now she has a boyfriend (horrible timing again), and he seems way to good to be true, like... He knocks me so far outta' the water. But even worse, over that 9 month span that I was dating that other girl she became very close friends with my long-time crush. Making things VERY complicated.


So here is where I am running into my problem. The girl I recently broke up with is still really hurting over me ending it and is constantly trying to get me back (I'm terrible I know ). While I am doing my best to try and talk to my crush and everything. Like I said I don't plan on dating anyone else unless I really feel something for them. And I definitely feel something for this girl. It's been three years and I still get those butterflies when I just get a text from her or something.


Girl A(Ex) > Me > Girl B(Crush) > Boyfriend


Girl A is close friends with Girl B


Is this a scenario even worth trying at?


(I really hope this made sense)

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Hello. Well, personally I don’t think this is about timing, when two people love each other they find a way to be together, but since that very first break-up she seems to have made it clear that she was more interested in a relationship with another person.


I don’t know if there’s a reason why you want to get involved with girls that will ‘allow’ you to do the same thing she’s doing to you, Do you think there’s more to that besides what you mentioned of feeling lonely?


It might also not be a coincidence that the only time she said something about liking you was right after she found out you were going out with a new girl and she was still single.


I believe it would be a good idea to stop talking to both girls, your ex and the one you like.

Everytime your ex sees you or hears from you could be giving her false hope, you know?, so it might help to just leave her alone for a while so she can deal with her emotions.

As for the girl you like, it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, and perhaps you should also ask yourself why you seemed okay with being just ‘a potential option’ to her but not actually her boyfriend.


We all make mistakes, and that doesn’t make you undeserving of a nice relationship; just work on getting over your crush, you will surely meet a nice girl eventually.

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