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Ex Wife Contacted Me 2yrs Later

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She has been on quite a mission to try and track me down. For the last week, she has been sending emails to pretty much everyone she knows of as my friends from when we were married including people I don't even talk to anymore. She gave my friend this story about how the guy she's with isn't right for her, she's lonely, misses/thinks of me, wonders if I miss/think of her etc.


Well at the rate she was harassing people, I finally decided to put a stop to that by responding to an email. She sent 2. The first one was more along the lines of "I would love to talk to you if you could ever forgive me." The second one was a long email saying sorry for everything she ever put me through, she wished she would've supported my ambitions, taken my last name, been more understanding, less selfish and full of pride, she was young, etc. Basically going over everything that went wrong and what ultimately lead to me divorcing her. She also said that she still loves me and seems to be holding out hope that we'll be together again.


I only responded to one telling her that I really never wanted to hear from her again after our divorce. I also said that I would respond to the 2nd when I was in the mood. She responded by saying she hopes we keep in touch. She would've been better off not adding that smiley.


I don't have it in my heart to forgive her for everything she put me through as a result of her selfishness, nor will I ever forget. It was pure Hell! I gave everything I could to her and then some. I never changed when we got married and kept doing all the little and special things that mattered. Never got lazy. Never slacked. Above all, I never let her walk on me. During a talk while we were seperated after I spit out everything she did wrong to me, I asked her "What have I ever done wrong? What have I ever done to you?" She could NEVER answer that question.


Which, brings me to now. I'm completely numb towards her. I don't care what she's going through or what she's been doing. We won't be friends or even acquaintences. That's all gone. She lost her chance to confide in me along time ago. In response to her long apologetic email, all I really have to say is "So, what do you want from me?"


What is your opinion on ex spouses being in contact long after divorce in general? Would you ever speak to yours again?

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I havent yet really been confronted by my ex (not wife, just ex gf of almost 7 years) and while I have forgiven her for what she did, I certainly have not forgotten the things she did and the way she hurt me. There is a strong part of me that wants nothing to do with my ex, yet there is that small little part of me that still wonders what if and until confronted with that situation, I am not completely sure how I would react.


You dont owe her anything, so if you dont want her in your life, just dont let her back in.


In response to her long apologetic email, all I really have to say is "So, what do you want from me?"


I have at times wondered what I would say to my ex if she ever contacts me, and you know what, thats the exact same thing I come up with every time.

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Hmmm....that's one to think about..however thanks! It's takin my mind off current bu.


Ok ex wife...well honestly I don't know what you went through...

You may compare


The ex wife. 4 year age gap... Her older..she never liked to work always quit jobs...bar hopped all night comes home at dawn...car here impounded.....spent all the money on high end clothes...selfish..pretentious.... Useless....then left me for another man married him a month after our papers were signed..still together today.


In spite of everything...I have forgiven all. I want perfect and maybe i did things to drive her to that behavior...but its done now....I would be in shock if she called me...it was a very bad divorce...I lost my and verbally abused her constantly...


I would talk to her...but i would not console her or reconcile.


If you can today say you cant forgive her..then just tell her to . Well in a polite way...


Hmmm I wonder what would happen if i contacted my ex?

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That's very big of you to forgive. When I think about saying "I forgive you" to my ex wife well 1) I might vomit 2) I would only be lying to myself 3) I would be mad at myself. I just don't like her as person. I'm sorry for everything you went through. That is so rough. I remember an incident when we fell on hard times and were struggling so hard with bills. Guess what happened? In she walks through the front door with $500 worth of clothes... I understand your view of talking because it would just be cold and blunt (just like how I feel). If she wants to walk into a buzzsaw thinking I'll be the same, all I can really say is "So be it."

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Only three words,Ignore Ignore Ignore, and other three Ignore the Heifer,you deserve so much better. She made her bed now its time for her to lie on it. Block her if you have to,she sounds annoying and has issues.


I agree with you and it's what I was bent on doing before she started contacting all these people around me. I knew in my mind that I would never speak to her again, but this situation forced my hand. So once I do respond, it will be blunt and I'd pretty much state what you stated if she tried to go futher. She was a girl that needed to grow up that just now found out how hard life really is and is trying to use me, according to her: the best thing that ever happened to her, for comfort. You're right. She definitely did this to herself. The ironic thing is that this whole situation would be like adding insult to injury or twisting the knife deeper via herself.

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Well, it's not anger. I'm just cold and have no emotion towards her at all. I'd just prefer her staying far away from me and never talking to me again. It just got to a point to where I can say "I just don't like you as a person." My body reacts to people I don't like with a feeling of nausea.


She blamed me for everything, took me for granted, never respected my emotions, was extremely selfish, stubborn, self-centered, disrespectful, emotionally draining... the list seriously goes on and on.


Initially, anyone would be angry if someone they gave all their heart to did nothing but throw it back in their face. Most divorces are never pretty. As time moves on you just get over it all. In my case, 2yrs later, all my emotions for her are gone and I just don't care about her at all.

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She is at a point of transition. A relationship failed... she got left... she is lonely... she is looking for consolation.


The thing is this - you are not the least bit interested (I mean be honest... your ego is a bit boosted by the extremes she went to to contact you but that doesn't equal interest.) You don't want to hear her story. You don't want to reconcile. You let her contact you to apologize and say her peace. There is nothing wrong with telling her to move on. You don't have to be mean or rude about it but that you have absolutely no interest in maintaining contact.


Just don't drag it out or her along. End it before she starts to get super clingy and invading much more of your space.

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