No idea what to do

[Dtfan]

So the girl of my dreams just dropped a bomb shell on me tonight , I

have told her from the beginning I do not like lies and asked her to

tell me if there was anything she needed to get off her chest. She is recently divorced.

 

She knows I do not like cheating and has always used her husbands

cheating against him, I found out that she cheated on him

before they we married and she has been lying to me about it for

months (about 9), he does not know either. Telling me she had only

slept with on man in her life and would never cheat etc....

 

Now she tells me she cheated with her cousins husband, and that she

feels remorse for it and disgusted about it and hates him, then a

picture of him and her pops up on Facebook from about 6 months ago

with him and her hugging both smiles, this is about 3.5 years after

they cheated together, and I have seen her talking to him all smiles

again. I really do not know what to think can I trust her?

 

How would you deal with the situation if you were looking to move

forward with a relationship? She did not cheat on me but she lied

about it and is not the person of high moral value that I thought she

was? I am so hurt and in complete disarray about what to do. I love

her but with no trust how can I move forward with this relationship?

[metrogirl]

Well if she claims she hates him and you have seen a picture of them together recently then it seems she is lying all the way around.

 

Who knows what else she is capable of lying about?

[Stay_home]

She didn't tell you because she was afraid of you becoming upset and losing faith in her. A lie is a lie, you have every right to be upset.

[Dtfan]

This is what I am worried about, I want or wanted to spend the rest of my life with this girl and now I am asking myself is she really the person I fell for... And with all the baggage I am accepting to be with her now that I know what I know I am asking is she worth it.

 

I have lost faith in her, and I gave her many chances especially in the beginning and told her that anything she tells me before we entered the relationship would not be a problem as long as she was honest. And she wasn't, she still speaks with her cousin like nothing happened and this bothers me a lot.

[metrogirl]

she still speaks with her cousin like nothing happened and this bothers me a lot.

 

So she basically shows no remorse for what she did, that really is a big red flag.

[Dtfan]

She says she does not want her to know as it was a mistake, she does feel remorse for it but I don't think it's as much as she says...

 

Why do people not listen, and tell the bloody truth when asked to.....

[metrogirl]

She says she does not want her to know as it was a mistake, she does feel remorse for it but I don't think it's as much as she says...

 

Why do people not listen, and tell the bloody truth when asked to.....

 

So how do you know she's not still shacking up with the cousins husband?

[Dtfan]

So how do you know she's not still shacking up with the cousins husband?

 

I don't I do know she has not done it from she has been with me, before this time I have no idea

[ShootMePlz]

Get her to admit it/talk about it in a email.....then keep it. If she is the type to cheat on her cousin and then act all friendly still with the guy then she will have no problem doing it later on in life. Why take that chance. If she is truly remorseful ask her to show it by telling her cousin.

[dgribble]

LIES... LIES... and more LIES. If she won't tell her cousin: How are you gonna feel when you guys get together for family functions?.. Um... AWKWARD. You can't continue with a person who lies and cheats on a continuing basis without remorse. These are called serial cheaters.