Chocol8gyal Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 So this has been a big issue with our relationship since we've gotten together. At first he was pressuring me to have sex with him (I am a virgin and am trying to save myself until marriage) but he has since understood with that after our last conversation about it. But now he's upset with me because I dont come on to him often or do freaky things etc but I do whenever we're alone which rarely happens, we hardly have alone time with each other...he works most of the day, I still live with my parents and am sharing a car with my father since his is presently in the shop...by the time I can get my car it's late and my boyfriend is exhausted from work that he doesnt want to do anything. Anyway he's gettin pretty annoyed because we have this conversation often but he's not seeing any changes...now he's saying if he doesnt see any changes soon he's gonna have to 'do wat he has to do' which i think he's tryna say that he's gonna have to break up with me or that he will end up cheating on me...he says if this happens that it would be my fault....i really do try to at least be able to do satisfy his needs as much as possible but idk what to do...i love him soo much and he claims he loves me the same way i just dont want our relationship to dissolve again...i need help Link to comment
tresqua Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 He's manipulating, coercing, trying to force you into doing something out of fear of retribution. You've got a few options. Do as he says out of fear that he's going to dump you, or tell him to either respect your boundaries or f**k off. I know what I'd do. Link to comment
scarlett27 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 oh my god hes a scum bag are u serious ? i am 28 female i would not put up with that for anyone - hes after one thing , is not understand hes an arse Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 So you do sleep with him or you don't? Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Relationship is one sided deal. They are not meant to be. Your needs must be met just as much as his. Also found these problems in your post. - Pressuring you for sex - Upset you wont perform for him - Threatening you with possible break up/cheating 3 points to him. 0 points to you. 3-0 is not balanced and is therefore not good for you. Link to comment
Chocol8gyal Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 @metrogirl i dont sleep with him... but yeah i do see how he is being a jerk..he should really be more understanding about the situation and my boundaries...that would show that he respects me more than he does right now and this behavior probably warrants me dumping him to the curb but i just keep thinking about the good in the relationship because other than this issue our relationship is great...my mind and my heart are just warring with each other right now Link to comment
scarlett27 Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Relationship is one sided deal. They are not meant to be. Your needs must be met just as much as his. Also found these problems in your post. - Pressuring you for sex - Upset you wont perform for him - Threatening you with possible break up/cheating 3 points to him. 0 points to you. 3-0 is not balanced and is therefore not good for you. mouse is so right about all his / her points wake up girl leave this idiot Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 @metrogirl i dont sleep with him... but yeah i do see how he is being a jerk..he should really be more understanding about the situation and my boundaries...that would show that he respects me more than he does right now and this behavior probably warrants me dumping him to the curb but i just keep thinking about the good in the relationship because other than this issue our relationship is great...my mind and my heart are just warring with each other right now Does he clearly know what your boundries are though? You don't sleep with him so does he expect some other kind of sexual release from you, do you provide that sometimes or is it all a no-go? If you are standing firm in your decision not to have sex with him but do please him with other methods and now you don't, I can see why he would be frustrated. If you aren't doing anything sexual with him and he is suddenly becoming demanding and threatening you with breaking up or cheating then you should probably let this one go because it's not going to work and you are always going to feel resentful that he's like this. Link to comment
Gentle Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 General definition of a healty relationship is emotional and sexual satisfaction of both partners, although, agreed conditions can be sat to prevent future misunderstanding which can be led to split up. If, he is not up to his words, then, yes, he might not be right person for you at this time. Else, he is only following to his natural sexual needs. I hardly can judge him as a jerk or..etc. Again, with no pre set conditions, your boundry can not be spread too far and wide cross into single women who are not in a exclusive, loving relationships. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 I would call his bluff on that. And if he really is the type to break up with you or cheat on you because you won't put out for him, then kick his arse to the curb. He's no good. Trying to manipulate someone into having sex with you, is he being serious? If so, red flag here... Link to comment
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