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I met him online about 8 months ago/first time online dating after a really LTR for about 8 years , the first 3 months were intense, everyday talk communication hardcore love making. One day he went playing poker with some friends. ( I was drinking) I called him and joking said.. i hope you win lots of money for me. and he responded.. well..you’ll get some depending on how good you can suck me. – which really offended me so I hang up on him… --- he never call me and we went on for almost two months w/out contact – since than.. we’ve had our share of intense moments of meet/up sex and that’s about all. We were never an official couple or anything and at the very beginning I never really thought that I would like this guy, but I’ve fallen head over heels for him. I guess what really scared me was when we didn’t contact for two months, I found myself thinking about him EVERYDAY!!! I even dream about him which annoys the heck out of me because dammit!! I know this is just lust.. yes are are so physically drawn and attracted to each other but we do not even have a leg to stand. we have not been in contact and if we do/ its simple texting , we can’t even hold a conversation past “ how are you doing”


Maybe a lot of the feelings that I feel for him are in my head. I’m can’t explain why I like this man, I don’t even think he’s attractive.. I love the way he smell - his natural odor is soooo sexy to me.. I think about him all the time, he does not give me any indication that he likes or is interested in me.. heck he probably already has a girlfriend. I’ve thought about pursuing him.. but hold back because I feel that due to our history .. always giving him cake. He would never really care for me and I would only be view as sex. Other thing that held me back was – because this was my first online dating.. I felt that he got it off easly.. by never really having to pursue me. he never really did any chasing.. I trusted him right away.. I gave him my 110% -- so by my pursuing.. he would think that i’m easy and that he can have me whenever?


I dreamt about him last night and in my dream we were dancing together embracing each other’s love.. I woke up and was pretty disturb by the dream. I’m not sure if I’m trying to fight my feelings/ maybe I’m crazy but whatever it is.. I feel like I need help. I have NEVER ever feel this strongly about a men. And esp. when we have not been in contact for about 3 months/ I feel that maybe I’m hurting because I know he will never know how I truly feel for him? maybe it hurts because I’m fighting my feelings? I am going crazy!!! I’ve been on dates and during those dates.. I think only of him. I can’t see myself being with anyone else but him. Which is really dumb to me because I know that while I’m thinking of him. I could really lose an opportunity with one of those really nice men that are really Genuinely interested in me…

Your thoughts? Help? input? i’m just a crazy woman .*sigh*

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I'd guess that it isn't so much this particular guy you're infatuated with, but what he represents. Try and tease out what you actually want from a relationship - it's all there quite clearly in your fantasies and dreams - embracing each other's love, for example. Putting this guy out of the picture, look at the content of your dreams.


Then go and find someone who will share this with you.


P.S. They probably won't be someone who uses you as an alternative to masturbation, like this guy.

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It's pretty obvious to me that this is not a relationship that has a snowball's chance in hell of going anywhere. Not only has he shown a lack of respect for you by the way he texted you and the fact that he will go months without contacting you, but you yourself say he is not attractive and that you can't have a conversation beyond the basics. I think that you are infatuated with this guy, though I can't tell why (I guess sexual chemistry may explain it.) And I also wonder if you've moved past your 8 year LTR enough to even be thinking about romantic relationships...you sound a bit confused about what you want right now, which may mean you are still in "rebound" phase and need to do a bit of introspecting before you jump back into dating the wrong guys and get even more hurt.

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