Meriem Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Okay so i am over 2 months NC Today was one of those bad terrible days Link to comment
myheadvsheart Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 I'm finding they come in spurts. I was doing great for 5 weeks (to include his breaking no contact to tell me he missed me and what not) but this last week - I really beat myself up and started dwelling on my insecurities and projected that on my reflections with him. Tomorrow is another day to get better. {{{Hug}}} Hang in there! Link to comment
Meriem Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks myheadvsheart *hugss* , exactly once you feel you're doing fine, a horrible day comes by and I feel like I'm almost back to square one, like I feel so bad like it happened yesterday What triggered feeling awful today was watching a very romantic episode of this show I watch, I couldn't take it. (I would HATE it if my ex contacted me telling me he misses me, I don't trust myself around him, he put me through alot of pain but for soem reason once he asks me back I go back, this time that's IT no going back! I'm so done with that relationship from hell ) Link to comment
DallopofDaisy Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Meriem I am the same way! I've been broken up for 3 weeks, but in NC for one week... and it fluctuates I've noticed... and I know I have a long road ahead of me. Something that makes me feel good is that NC does make me feel like I am in a place of control, or at least, more control than when I am NOT in NC. Meriem, I am the same - I do not trust myself once I start talking to my ex. I become gelatin, and I find it hard keep control over my actions. But with NC... I feel stronger, even though it hurts. Link to comment
Meriem Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 ^ Yes I know how it feels like to have so much power! I remember the first few weeks of NC I felt like I had so much power and didn't know what to do with it, I was amazed by how much power I gave to my ex and finally I got it back. DallopofDaisy I'm here and we will keep each other strong, we WILL get through this, once and for all I'm so willing to get the hell out of that poor excuse of a relationship! Link to comment
lucasky Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 The terrible days are the worst. I can have the best day and then the next day I wake up and I just want to die. My only comfort those days is that the bad day will pass. I try to distract myself, even if it seems impossible to do so, and I post on various forums. You'll make it through Each month will get easier. Link to comment
Meriem Posted June 13, 2011 Author Share Posted June 13, 2011 ^ Lucasky yes they are the worst thing ever, and they stay from morning till night, I have no escape from them sometimes I cry alot and only then it starts getting better, other times I just keep going like nothing is bothering me even though it's hurting me like hell inside, I wonder if people around me notice? But the only thing that keeps me going are those good days and I've had alot of them since the breakup, days were I was actually REALLY happy, and i know that once I', over all of this, everyday will be a good day *fingers crossed* Today was great, I woke up not sure of how the day will go, I then grabbed a book and started reading it, this book was about a girl who had an alcoholic mother, the way she was living and how her childhood was so difficult made me feel rally grateful about my life, yes I lost someone I had feelings for, but I have a great family and everything else in my life is going really well. Anyway after reading the book I went out shopping with my mum and sister for dresses, the whole trip to the mall I was actually really excited and happy I enjoy spending time with my mum and sister so much, they'll always be there and will always love me. Ofcourse later at night I did have a tiny breakdown I cried a little but I thought "hey, this breakup happened two months ago, it's over, don't let it ruin the NOW" so I picked myself up and here I'm reading posts on this forum. Link to comment
Meriem Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 I had a good day today everything went fine, the whole breakup was still at the back f my mind, but instead of thinking about the break and sad stuff what was on my mind were thoughts of how to cope with it and have a good day. Everything was fine until just a few hours ago I signed into my hotmail and the thought of him being online freaked me out and it bothered me so much, so I quickly signed out... hotmail automatically signs people into messenger when they are simply only cheking their e-mails, ugh! But anyways, whatever I guess, so let it be, that shouldn't ruin the night for me, nothing happened it was just a thought/memory Link to comment
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