I can't get up in the morning....

[gingerlemon]

I feel really embarrassed to post this because it makes me look a couple of decades younger than I am. So to clear that one up first, no I'm not a teenager. But I still can't get up in the mornings. I have a job that is output based and as long as I show up to whatever meetings are scheduled, no one notices if I am in the office or not (I can also work from home). This freedom is wonderful but means that I REALLY struggle with getting up in the morning. The consequence is that I often don't start doing any work until some point between 10 and 12, which besides making me feel pretty bad also prolongs my working day, which in any case is often a bit longer than standard hours.

 

So, what should I do to get myself out of this pattern? I often have this intention of going earlier to bed, but it doesn't happen. I've tried placing my alarm clock all sorts of places to make me get up, walk accross the flat or down the stairs or whatever to turn it off, but what happens is that I just find it, turn it off, and go back to bed half asleep... When I have to be at work at a particular point in time, I'm there. I'm never late for meetings or that kind of stuff.

 

Any advice??...

[scarlett27]

see a doctor

[Seraphim]

Some people are just not morning people. I am one of them. I HAVE to get up because my son has to go to school and when I worked I had to get up early sometimes at 4 am. That would actually make me physically sick to my stomach. I just take it some people are not meant to be morning people.

[pinkelephant]

Try to go to bed earlier. What's the problem there? It has to be a gradual thing too. You can't just go to bed at 10pm when you're used to 2am. coffee also helps me get up faster.

[gingerlemon]

see a doctor

 

Seriously?

 

Some people are just not morning people. I am one of them. I HAVE to get up because my son has to go to school and when I worked I had to get up early sometimes at 4 am. That would actually make me physically sick to my stomach. I just take it some people are not meant to be morning people.

 

No kidding 4 am sounds EXTREMELY painful. I did that once when I was a teen and did a newspaper distribution round in the morning. After that I have, thankfully, never had to be at work before 8 (with the exception of some strawberry picking one summer which was around half six. That hurt, too).

 

I guess I could just accept my 'condition' and aim at keep my current type of work.

[RedDress]

Oh, I am the SAME. Did you know they've actually located the gene that differentiates morning people from night people? I bet you can stay up all night without issues. Others are falling over at 9pm.

 

One of the things that works for me is going to the gym. Seriously! It's a little strange - but it seems that the more physically fit you are, the less sleep you require. You sleep more efficiently or something.

 

The other thing is simply training yourself. If you wake up every morning at a certain time, you will often find that your body just wakes up at that time. This is one of those things where routine is important. Set your alarm for 7am every day (or whatever) and FORCE yourself to get up. Don't lie back down!! Get up. Move around. Just do it. Then, with time, getting up at this time will be more natural.

 

It's an upwards battle for us night people. Thankfully, I have flex hours too.

[gingerlemon]

Try to go to bed earlier. What's the problem there? It has to be a gradual thing too. You can't just go to bed at 10pm when you're used to 2am. coffee also helps me get up faster.

 

Yes, that's kind of been my plan which I haven't managed to execute. To force myself to go to bed at 10pm or something for a while until it becomes routine.

 

I do have a huge, extremely strong cup of espresso in the morning, and once I've drunk that I'm good to go. It's getting to that point that's the challenge.

[Seraphim]

Yeah I swear that my circadian rhythm is different than most people. My mother said I was a night person from the time I was born and I have always remained the same. Obviously I CAN work normal hours, that is not really the issue, it is just sortta painful because my brain does not really wake up till about 2 in the afternoon......lol.

[DN]

Why does it matter if you get up later - what negatives are there?

[gingerlemon]

Seriously, I can blame genetics? Excellent

 

I think your point about going to the gym is really good. Exercise definitely gives me more energy and I'm trying to get into a better routine with that. I've had periods where I've gone to the gym or gone swimming three times a week and that does help, and makes me feel better all around.

 

I have tried the set alarm at 7. In fact, I set it at 7 every day and it's the forcing bit that I'm not getting to work. Every night I think 'tomorrow, I will force myself to get up', every morning I fall back to sleep... (it's embarrassing to type this up )

 

 

 

Yes, I've always been like that, too. I used to be able to work through the night, but now my off button goes on at midnight and then I just pretty much fall asleep, no matter what I'm doing.

 

 

 

Good question. First, I think it makes me feel guilty and lazy, even though I'm generally a hard worker. And it makes me feel like I'm missing out on a third of the day. It also affects my social life a bit, because I'll drop doing other stuff in the evenings to make up for lost work hours.

[DN]

Good question. First, I think it makes me feel guilty and lazy, even though I'm generally a hard worker. And it makes me feel like I'm missing out on a third of the day. It also affects my social life a bit, because I'll drop doing other stuff in the evenings to make up for lost work hours.

It is common to think that. In my last job I had to get up at 5.20 am but now I set my own hours. Sometimes I will work until the middle of the night or even later and then sleep 'late'and it took me a while to get rid of the 'guilty' feeling. What matters is that the work is done not when it is done.

 

A little planning should take care of the social life aspect - otherwise I would take advantage of your ability to work when you feel most productive.

[gingerlemon]

It is common to think that. In my last job I had to get up at 5.20 am but now I set my own hours. Sometimes I will work until the middle of the night and sleep late and it took me a while to get rid of the 'guilty' feeling. What matters is that the work is done not when it is done.

 

A little planning should take care of the social life aspect - otherwise I would take advantage of your ability to work when you feel most productive.

 

Thanks, DN. That, and knowing that others in this thread also struggle with this, makes me feel better.

 

So, I think I will try to find a middle way - trying some of the strategies in this thread but try to get rid of the guilt bit because it doesn't really help towards anything.

[BellaDonna]

Oh, I am the SAME. Did you know they've actually located the gene that differentiates morning people from night people?

 

I would definitely have the night person gene!

 

Gingerlemon, I've fought my internal clock and hatred of mornings for several years now. If I were not married with a child I would probably be awake until at least 3am every night and wake up no earlier than 11am. That would be ideal for my body and mind.

 

However, things really changed for me when I moved in with my husband and also finished college and got a "real" job (before then I had always just avoided early morning classes, etc). I had to wake up. When I added a child into the mix I really had to wake up because kids wake up early and want breakfast, etc. lol

 

I still make groaning sounds of death every time my alarm clock wakes me up in the morning (it doesn't matter how many hours I've slept for). I can't fall asleep at night until about 11pm no matter how early I "try" to go to bed. But I've found that drinking Valerian Root tea (extra strength) helps me to get to sleep before midnight, most nights so I can function along with most of society. Despite that, I still don't think very clearly or feel truly energized or ready to face the day until about 11am though.

 

I have a very active toddler and mornings are my least favorite part of the day. Even now, if I have to come up with a great idea or write something for work I do so at night because that is when my mind just works best.

 

I always have to fight my body clock. I've never adapted to a regular schedule- it's always a "fight" and I have to consciously force myself out of my night-oriented ways.

 

Are you introverted by any chance, gingerlemon? I think in my case there is a direct relationship between wanting to be awake at night because it is when things are quiet around me and I have time to reflect inward.

[gingerlemon]

Haha, that's the only way I think I'd get up every morning - by adding a toddler! That's not on the agenda, though. I seriously don't understand how women survive the first two year's of a baby's life when you only have a few hours of sleep at the time. I admire you.

 

I'll check out that tea suggestion. I haven't heard of it before but it sounds like something that can be found in a health store, is that right?

 

That's interesting with your link to being introvert. Yes, I am introvert and like to be alone when I work - I do research so I need to spend a fair amount of time just pondering ideas and how to relate them. I've never consciously thought of it in that way (I'm pretty isolated at work during the day, too, though). But even in my more extrovert phases my body clock is exactly like yours!

 

 

On a different note, I once saw this facebook group which I think was Danish in origin, where people where campaigning for a revolution of working life hours on the basis that the majority of people are not morning people. I think I'll sign up for that campaign.

[pinkelephant]

Maybe it's because you take your coffee so late in the morning that it keeps you awake at night.

[BellaDonna]

I use this brand of valerian root tea which is in the grocery store link removed Healthfood stores might have even stronger concentrations of the herb.

 

like to be alone when I work - I do research so I need to spend a fair amount of time just pondering ideas and how to relate them.

 

Same here. I never have any good ideas in the morning. I've arranged it at work so that I have busy tasks or meetings that I can push myself through early in the day and save projects that require thought and concentration for later. No real innovation happens in my brain until later in the day.

 

I seriously don't understand how women survive the first two year's of a baby's life when you only have a few hours of sleep at the time. I admire you.

 

It remained one of the most challenging times of my life and of parenting. Not easy if you are a night owl and introverted and you like to sleep in. It gets easier with time though children sleep longer and become more independent. Still, the latest my son ever sleeps is 8am.....most days he wakes up between 6am-7:30am..... My husband and I split up the weekend so we both get a day to sleep late. That one day is my sanity and I don't show my face until at least 11am or later.

[gingerlemon]

Maybe it's because you take your coffee so late in the morning that it keeps you awake at night.

 

Oh, I sleep like a log once I get to bed. I usually go to bed around midnight and it's extremely rare that I have problems falling asleep. So, I could probably fall asleep at eleven if I really tried, maybe with that herbal tea added - the trap is I always think 'oh I'll just do (insert whatever) first' and then all of a sudden it's midnight...

 

I use this brand of valerian root tea which is in the grocery store link removed Healthfood stores might have even stronger concentrations of the herb.

 

Same here. I never have any good ideas in the morning. I've arranged it at work so that I have busy tasks or meetings that I can push myself through early in the day and save projects that require thought and concentration for later. No real innovation happens in my brain until later in the day.

 

It remained one of the most challenging times of my life and of parenting. Not easy if you are a night owl and introverted and you like to sleep in. It gets easier with time though children sleep longer and become more independent. Still, the latest my son ever sleeps is 8am.....most days he wakes up between 6am-7:30am..... My husband and I split up the weekend so we both get a day to sleep late. That one day is my sanity and I don't show my face until at least 11am or later.

 

Oh, thanks for that link! Kudos for dealing with your 'live' alarm clock - I'm sure he's worth it, though I need one day of lie in a week, too, otherwise I get grumpy, haha.

[charity]

i can so relate to this topic. i HATE getting up early. and i have 2 kids and the poor things have to drag me outta bed in the mornings to get their breakfast. so no, i'm not a morning person but you know whats ridicules about me too? i'm not a night person either!!! how unfair is that? i'm usually ready to go to sleep by 10.30. and if i was allowed sleep in i'd sleep till 10am. forcing myself out of bed at 7.30 is only done out of pure necessity. i guess thats whats wrong with you OP. its not actually necessary that you get up early. when it is, then you will!

 

anyway here's what works for me. i set my alarm for 6.30am. i snooze it every 15 mins for an hour. then at 7.30 i say to myself 'just do this, don't think about it, just do it. and then i drag myself up and straight into the bathroom and turn shower on and go in. 2 mins later the tiredness is gone.

[gingerlemon]

Hahaha. Yes, that is unfair. I do that snooze thing, too, sometimes for two hours. And then I kick myself afterwards because I think 'oh I could have had PROPER sleep for an extra two hours'...

[90_hour_sleep]

I've tried placing my alarm clock all sorts of places to make me get up, walk accross the flat or down the stairs or whatever to turn it off, but what happens is that I just find it, turn it off, and go back to bed half asleep...

 

ooooh!!! that's awesome. lol. it's only awesome...because i do it too. doesn't really solve your 'problem'. but i can empathize.

[Jetta]

I'm not a morning person either, it's great you got your schedule to work out. Frankly it is what it is why try to change it. My brother isn't a morning person either and does not take phone calls before 9:30 a.m.

 

My daughter however is totally a morning person. She does realize I'm not and is really good about watching cartoons until breakfast at 8:30 or 9 depending on the day. She was up before 6 a.m. this morning. Grandma actually got her breakfast because she too was up at the crack of dawn.

[BellaDonna]

I've had some success with some of the things others mentioned doing such as keeping the alarm clock accross the room so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off. About 50% of the time I still walk right back to bed anyways....but if it were located near the bed it would be 100% of the time. lol

 

Showering immediately also helps me. If I don't shower in the morning I never really feel woken up. I have to time it just right so I can wake up BEFORE my son (who wakes up at the ass crack of dawn!) and fit a decent shower in before he is up. If I hit the snooze button it throws off my whole schedule and he will wake up while I'm showering and I end up rushing. Ugh HATE mornings! lol

[gingerlemon]

ooooh!!! that's awesome. lol. it's only awesome...because i do it too. doesn't really solve your 'problem'. but i can empathize.

 

Hahaha. I like how so many kindred spirits join in this thread. And I definitely like your user name

 

I'm not a morning person either, it's great you got your schedule to work out. Frankly it is what it is why try to change it. My brother isn't a morning person either and does not take phone calls before 9:30 a.m.

 

My daughter however is totally a morning person. She does realize I'm not and is really good about watching cartoons until breakfast at 8:30 or 9 depending on the day. She was up before 6 a.m. this morning. Grandma actually got her breakfast because she too was up at the crack of dawn.

 

You're right. I think I'm going to just try to accept it more and work around it. It's easier now that I'm alone (I'm abroad for a while due to work), but it (very understandably) creates a bit of issues with my H when I tend to work late a lot.

 

Thank God for cartoons, eh?

 

I've had some success with some of the things others mentioned doing such as keeping the alarm clock accross the room so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off. About 50% of the time I still walk right back to bed anyways....but if it were located near the bed it would be 100% of the time. lol

 

Showering immediately also helps me. If I don't shower in the morning I never really feel woken up. I have to time it just right so I can wake up BEFORE my son (who wakes up at the ass crack of dawn!) and fit a decent shower in before he is up. If I hit the snooze button it throws off my whole schedule and he will wake up while I'm showering and I end up rushing. Ugh HATE mornings! lol

 

The placing alarm clock somewhere else used to help me some years back, but now it has no effect anymore. In the house where I'm living now my bed room is upstairs, and the other day I tried to put the alarm clock downstairs on the kitchen table. So turning it off involved getting out of bed, walking down a really narrow set of stairs which are really slippery, so even in my half sleep I remember thinking 'must not fall, must not fall, must not fall', then after the stairs into the kitchen, turning the alarm on snooze.... and then I walked back up the stairs and got back into bed lol Once I do get up, I head straight for the shower and put my espresso pot on so that it's just ready as soon as I'm done showering. Reading your posts, I think I just need a son

[carbon14]

So turning it off involved getting out of bed, walking down a really narrow set of stairs which are really slippery, so even in my half sleep I remember thinking 'must not fall, must not fall, must not fall', then after the stairs into the kitchen, turning the alarm on snooze.... and then I walked back up the stairs and got back into bed lol

 

Hahaha-this is awesome! I was going to suggest stepping it up a-la-Indiana Jones and maybe including a snake pit or a boulder that's released if you hit the snooze button, but who am I kidding-even with that I'd probably just go back to bed as well.

 

I agree with the gym thing-it helps me get moving in the morning. I also leave a window open to catch the morning sun and set my coffee pot to start brewing first thing-the smell of coffee helps (not sure if your espresso machine has this setting). But the number one trick I have is eating an early dinner and not having any late night snacks so that by 6:00am I'm starving and I simply have to get out of bed to have breakfast. That one works EVERY time!

 

I've gone from being a night person to a morning person and now it seems I'm back to being a night person again; seems to change every 4-5 yrs or so. I'm currently doing consultant work where I make my own hours and can understand that feeling of "Oh snap-it's already 11am and I've just started!"-I would say if it didn't bother you, don't mind it-for me, those days just end up a train wreck and my evening social plans usually end up canceled as I try to catch up. And then I feel like I'm falling behind because I'm working after 5:30pm (even though I'm still within my 8hr work day) and it makes me feel a little stressed. So if you can get over the mental aspect of it, enjoy that hitting that snooze button! I personally can't get over it and would rather work "normal" hours-even if it's more of a hassle in the morning.

[gingerlemon]

Hahaha-this is awesome! I was going to suggest stepping it up a-la-Indiana Jones and maybe including a snake pit or a boulder that's released if you hit the snooze button, but who am I kidding-even with that I'd probably just go back to bed as well.

 

Haha. I have asked my partner to pour water on me a couple of times. But if I'd do that often it would upset marital relations

 

I agree with the gym thing-it helps me get moving in the morning. I also leave a window open to catch the morning sun and set my coffee pot to start brewing first thing-the smell of coffee helps (not sure if your espresso machine has this setting). But the number one trick I have is eating an early dinner and not having any late night snacks so that by 6:00am I'm starving and I simply have to get out of bed to have breakfast. That one works EVERY time!

 

Oh, I've never thought of that! The thing is that I haven't eaten breakfast in years (because I'm always late in the morning...) so that strategy would really be a bit of a turn around of other habits, too.

 

H

I've gone from being a night person to a morning person and now it seems I'm back to being a night person again; seems to change every 4-5 yrs or so. I'm currently doing consultant work where I make my own hours and can understand that feeling of "Oh snap-it's already 11am and I've just started!"-I would say if it didn't bother you, don't mind it-for me, those days just end up a train wreck and my evening social plans usually end up canceled as I try to catch up. And then I feel like I'm falling behind because I'm working after 5:30pm (even though I'm still within my 8hr work day) and it makes me feel a little stressed. So if you can get over the mental aspect of it, enjoy that hitting that snooze button! I personally can't get over it and would rather work "normal" hours-even if it's more of a hassle in the morning.

 

Impressive. Very impressive.

 

Yes, so much of it is the mental aspect. This thread has got me thinking around that. Some of those days I have your train wreck reaction and other days I just think, oh well, enjoy that hour or two in the morning and then just get on with it. I think I'd be generally more fine with it if it didn't dig into my social and family life in the evenings. Right now I'm working abroad so don't have to think about hubby but that is generally an issue.