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Would you still go on vacation if your significant other had this accident?

Koglin

By Koglin
in Relationship Advice

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Koglin Contributor

Koglin

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My girlfriend and I booked a trip to visit her home country of Italy for a week this August. A few other members of her extended family including her parents will also be in Italy at this time so we all would be there together. We booked our plane tickets so far a couple of months ago which cost just shy of $2000 for the both of us and were both very excited to take this trip. Two weeks ago I had an accident where my dominant arm was shattered and broken in a few places. It is an extremely painful injury because the ends of broken bone keep hitting a major nerve which causes debilitating shooting pain with even the slightest movements. I was put in a hard cast from wrist to shoulder and put on heavy meds for the pain. Now the surgeons are saying that I might need an operation where they will put plates, screwes and bone marrow transplant from my back to help put the arm back together. It is a relatively serious 3 hour surgery with risks and after the surgery I would need assistance with pretty much everything for at least a week after being discharged from the hospital. What's worse is that they have scheduled the surgery for mid August (only available time) at exactly the same time we were to go on our trip. My girlfriend has not told me directly, but I have learned that she still plans on going for this trip with or with out me. We live together so it would be so important she's around to help after the operation not to mention it would be ice to have her around during surgery for emotional support. I feel neglected that she would still want to go and not reschedule for when I get better. If it were me I would for sure be there for her. What would you guys do? Should I ask her to stay with me? It's not even something I feel I should be doing and I do feel horrible about what happened and how it complicates or trip.

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Koglin Contributor

Koglin

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I would not go.

Are the tickets refundable? I'd gladly not go, and make it a goal for us to go, and give him something to look forward to once everything was settled and he was feeling better.

 

The tickets are non refundable.

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SapphireNoir10 Community Regular

SapphireNoir10

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I would probably be dissapointed and hurt. Its not so much wanting her to stay home and 'play nurse'.

 

Its the whole factor of shes the person whose supposed to love you, you live together, thats a commitment, and if you live together, surely if one of you is injured the other should help etc round the house, or with supporting that peson in general.

 

How could you enjoy a holiday knowing your SO is suffering and struggling...and Im sorry but when your in pain after an operation in your own home you dont just want ANYONE looking after you,

 

I'd probaby rethink the relationship or the character of that person, seems very selfish to me

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Koglin Contributor

Koglin

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I would not go if I were your gf but she shouldn't have to forego a vacation just to be a nurse to you -you can hire someone to do that or pay a friend -perhaps she feels that that's the only reason you don't want her to go?

 

Just to clarify something, I have not implied in any way she shouldn't go on this trip with out me so to the best of her knowledge I still want her to go but yes silently I wish she would stay with me. Pay a friend to possibly help me with things like wipe my behind and bathe? I don't think so. My only option would be to extend my stay at hospital for a hefty fee.

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BriarRose Community Regular

BriarRose

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IF she goes (and we don't know yet if she is going to), that will say a lot about her character, and if God forbid you ever got seriously ill, she would most likely not be there for you. Trust me, I know this from experience. There are people who are there for you during illness and injury, and those that are only there when things are going fine.

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SayWhen Enthusiast

SayWhen

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No I would not go. I would not be able to enjoy a vacation knowing my husband could not be there due to such a serious injury. Maybe your girlfriend does not want to waste the money, but some things are more important...can you suggest rescheduling the vacation?

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browneyedgirl36 Rising Star

browneyedgirl36

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I wouldn't go. I couldn't leave my significant other in that condition even if I knew others were caring for him. For me, that sort of trip would be one that I would want to enjoy with him, and if I couldn't, I would re-schedule it for a time that I could. It just wouldn't feel right to me to go without him. Trips can always be re-scheduled. When someone is sick or in pain, that would be my first priority.

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browneyedgirl36 Rising Star

browneyedgirl36

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tickets are non refundable or exchangeable

 

Well...this is bad, but...I probably still wouldn't go. It's really a good idea to get tickets that are at least partially refundable -- i.e. ones that, even if you have to change the travel dates, you won't lose all of your money. They cost more, but in the long run, I think it's the best plan.

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alli Collaborator

alli

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First off, I'm guessing you didn't get travel insurance since you're saying the tickets are non-refundable. But if you did, I think the insurance would cover it. Another thing... since it's still quite a ways out, I would call the airline immediately, ask for a manager and tell them your situation. Maybe they'll feel sorry for you & refund your ticket or exchange for a voucher for later use. Maybe the flights fill up & they'd resell it anyway.

 

Of course, this means you're going to have to ask your girlfriend if she's going or not. I guess you don't want to pressure her into missing the trip & have her resent you for it. Also, I'm sure you're not happy that she's still planning on going without any consideration for you. I know everyone is saying they wouldn't go. If I were her, I would probably ask if you need me. I don't know how much help a person needs after breaking an arm. I know assistance with some things are nice but I'm not sure how necessary it is. Does she know? Has she spoken about it with your Dr? Maybe she's just underestimating the amount of assistance you need. More than likely though, she's still planning on going becuase her desire to continue the trip overshadows your need for her assistance. It seems pretty inconsiderate to me, but you really need to talk to her about it soon. If she's still going, you'll need to make other arrangements now for your care after surgery.

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