Is he lying and blew me off?

[dkth]

So my boyfriend and I, we've been together for little over a year now. I guess its long distance (he's about 45-60 mins away from me) and we've only seen each other twice last year. Communication was on and off and this past week, it's on again. He sent me an email calling me baby (even though I thought we were over since we hadn't spoken in about 3 months or soo) He said he hasn't had a girlfriend, I don't know what to believe. But he said he's been working, got a job, stopped drinking, and has been ''getting himself together''. I guess making changes in his life.

 

This weekend he was supposed to come get me, (we had talked about it this morning and whatnot) to spend the night but then in the afternoon told me "babe i got bad news, my car broke down in the gas station can't make it today im gonna fix it when are you free again plz dont be mad"

So i told him monday or something and that I wasn't mad, but disappointed.

he replied but its not my fault sweety its the starter on the car. i love you baby.

 

There's been no arguments in the past with me getting mad, ever, since I hardly ever get mad.

another thing is, the first time we met, he told me "lets get married" lol

and he's been saying that lately, and having kids and moving in together. so if he were with someone else, would he still be saying that?

Was he lying??? He told me he'd text me back when he was done fixing his car and that was around , but now its 12pm and i haven't gotten a text nor phone call. Could he be with someone else??

[BiCurious2011]

If he can drive and lives that close and only saw you twice last year, it doesn't sound like he's too into you. I dated someone that lived about that far from me, and I went to see her every weekend. So...that should be your first hint. But I would say if you don't have any reason not to believe him, just assume he's telling the truth to avoid any unnecessary fights. If you ever catch him in a lie, that's when you can be mad.

[mouseno4]

Yep, what Bi said. You dont have any evidence to suggest he is lying. People make assumptions about people lying all the time. "He/she didnt text me right in the dot of the hour they said they would! They are lying!'' People are so easily falling into this trap. I would bet there are a LOT of relationships that break up because one automatically assumed the other was lying/cheating and confronted them about it. Oops i guess i was wrong. Oops now im single.

 

One thing is for sure - 2 times in a YEAR? My sisters live 300 KILOMETERS AWAY (not sure what that is in miles). And i see them dozens of times a year. (and they are only my sisters, i have zero commitment to see them)

[-Sanguine-]

Are you sure you two are on the same page about your relationship? Two times a year is NOT a lot - and to go 3 months without talking would suggest that you aren't even together at all...

 

but as for the lying - he could be lying. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I can see why it would be hard for you to tell given the fact that you've hardly spoken to him or seen him. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions yet. But I would probably question if this guy is really into you and worry more about that than the lying.

[BiCurious2011]

Not talking I could see only if he couldn't talk to her, but if he could even go and see her since he can drive...it just seems a little fishy.

 

By the way, 300 km is about 180 miles and, depending on traffic, about 3 hours away. Definitely a good 3 or 4 times farther away than dkth's boyfriend lives from her.

[mouseno4]

Thanks Bi. Australia is metric. America is 'imperial' i think the word is.

[Jacanorie]

If you've seen each other twice in a year and haven't spoken in three months, then what sort of relationship do you really have? My boyfriend is an hour and a half away and I see him at least twice a week.

 

Anyway, you can't really prove he was lying or anything...but if he's not seen you for so long or spoken to you, I suppose it's possible his mates called and he decided he'd rather do that? Bearing in mind the amount you two have seen each other in the last year, maybe he's not very committed to you?

[mouseno4]

Either not very committed or... just not all that interested. If i had an girlfriend - even (heaven forbid) on the other side of the planet... i would STILL be in constant permanent contact through whatever means at my disposal. Be it Skype, MSN, Yahoo, email, SMS, forums... blood hell there are TONS of FREE communications options. How you only managed to contact twice... and still call what you have a relationship?

 

I think you need to face the probability that you need someone who is actually attracted to you and more to the point - interested in you to put even a half the effort into being with you.

[DallopofDaisy]

Two times a year unfortunately might mean the relationship isn't quite what you think it is. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year. I lived 700 miles from him because I was in graduate school up north, but we still managed to see each other at LEAST once per month... and during the good months when I wasn't in school, we saw each other alot. However, we DID end up breaking up, so how much can I really say about how successful my long-distance relationship was.

[Batya33]

It sounds like in his view this was a fun, flirty chat-buddies kind of arrangement when he had the time/desire, and getting together in person was not a priority to him. You consider this to be a serious relationship. With rare exception, most people who want a serious romantic relationship want to spend time in person on a regular -if not frequent -basis. My husband and I were long distance when we were dating - a 2-3 hour plane ride- and we made it a top priority to see each other about every 10-14 days for 3-5 days at a time, for the few years we were long distance. When I dated people who lived an hour away we saw each other at least twice a week.

[Sweetkisses22]

I hope his name isn't tony lol. Sounds just liked my ex..