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strict mother...boyfriend...need help...


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So I'm 16 years old, will be 17 in a month and a half... my mom is really strict about me having a bf.. and i wanna tell my mom that i have a bf (ive kept it a secret for 6 months) bc its starting to get complicated to keep lying to her, and pretty soon i wont have any way to get to my bf bc of lack of transportation, u c my bro was always the one takin me over to my bf house.. but my bro will b moving soon... so he cant... and i have no one else that wud want to take me to c my bf.. so i wanna tell my mom.. but im afraid if i tell her she will try n stop me from seeing him.. can she actually stop me from dating him? and my bf said he wont let my mom stop him from seeing me, can he actually do that? idk.. i need some help plz im torn on what to do.. i dnt wanna lose him.. i love him and he says he loves me to..

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I think you need to be straight up with your mother. The longer you wait and put telling her off... the worse it will be when you tell her later or she finds out herself.


Parents are there for their children. Children mean a great deal to them. Parents are the only ones in the world that can and always will forgive us, regardless of what we have done. She cant stop you from seeing each other. Not really. Even if she tries, if you truly care for your bf, and him in return - you will then just try to break her rules. Parents learn to accept what their children are eventually. Sometimes, it takes a lot to acknowledge they are not little baby girls/boys anymore.


We have all heard the stories of mothers/fathers 'grounding' their children. The only thing that does is to teach their children to be defiant. In the end, they learn to accept the path they want to take, and more often than not - do what they can to allow them to be safe whilst doing it. And it dont have to be about sex, boys/girls or relationships. It can be about sports or social events or even allowing them to be themselves.

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Because you are under the age of 18 and living in her house, yes she can stop you from seeing him. Honestly, I don't think there is much you BF could do. You have a little over a year until you are legally an adult. Start saving money so you can move out if you want to once you are 18. Until then you pretty much have to abide by her rules.


I do think you should talk to your mom and try and work something out. Perhaps you could ask her if he could come over for dinner so she could meet him?

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my mother met him already.. he used to live with us, my mother was best friends with his mother like 9 years ago, but they got in a big fight and i lost contact with all of them and his mom bc of my mom, just got back in contact with him and his family in december this year.. my mother doesnt like him bc she doesnt like his mom... and bc he looks like his dad (his dad raped a girl and is in jail), but my bf is nothing like that, hes a good guy and a religious person aswell. and my mom wanted me to meet someone religious..

just bc his dad was bad doesnt automatically make him bad.. its not his fault that his dad did bad..

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