He said he was leaving her for me and would step up and be a man.

[angelheartjosh]

Hello,

 

My question is, I'm confused about my x, we broke up about a year ago...we didn't see each other for the whole year, we were under strict rules not to, after the year was up he came right to me, told me how much he had missed me, loved me wanted to be with me, he cried to me, he was sorry that so much time had gone by that we were apart. I told him it was a good thing that we grew as adults and matured and learned from our past.We do love each other very much he has been working very hard which before he did not have a job.

 

well he still lives with his live in GF who is much older than us we are 35 she is 46 he is not in love with her, and was planning on leaving her to come home to me, we kept in contact for about 3 weeks and I didn't sleep with him, I told him not until he left her that I would he respected that, I seen him about 3 times and we talked on phone everyday for 3 weeks, he had even told me he told her he was leaving her cause he is still in love with me....He has been with this woman for 7 years she treats him like it's her son, he says though when he is with me and my son I make him wanna be a man and go to work and tAKE care of us, rather than a woman taking care of him.

 

Well after the 3 weeks he told me he had to tie up loose ends with her pay some bills he was also getting layed off I believe not sure, and after he would be coming home to myself and my son. I never heard from him again that was 1 month ago I am so confused as to why???? Why did he say he wanted to be a man and tell her he was leaving her to come to me?? But at the same time couldn't tell me he chose to stay with her??? He never told me anything!!! Someone please help me see from the outside in, what really happened here? Thank you.

[Ms Darcy]

Many answers about his behavior. But the more important question is why would you get emotionally entangled with someone in a relationship (even if he was your ex), who makes all kinds of sweet promises without having spent time with you in a relationship for that long, and who was clearly cheating on her with you if he's been with her for 7 years yet only broke up with you a year ago.

 

I'm worried about your self-esteem. It seems very low.

[Snny]

If I read correctly, he broke up with you a year ago but "has been with" his current girlfriend for seven years? He sounds like a piece of work... and this is coming from someone who has rekindled with an ex after a year of separation. If he doesn't cut his ties completely he will never rekindle with you.

[angelheartjosh]

He and I were in a relationship for a year than we broke up for a year because we were under "no contact" but when that was over he came right back to me.....he was with her before he met me, but when he met me he told her about me and he moved out right away. He never "CHEATED" on her the first time, or this last time. We did not sleep together this last time I seen him, simply because he said he needed to end the relationship with her first. When he did come to me 2 months ago I was in a really bad position my home is in foreclosure I have to move, I believe it was just alot for him to handle and he ran.

[Rob1000]

He broke up with you a year ago, but has been with the other woman for 7 years? Are you serious??

[CatsMeeoow]

He may like the idea of you and what you represent but he clearly likes the idea of her as well.

 

I would never believe a word out of his mouth while he was living with this woman. Think about it. If he really wanted YOU then he clearly had a year to get his crap together... end the relationship... move out... get his own life and then he would have shown up to let you see the new him. That didn't happen did it? He is just stringing you along and if you really open your eyes you are not the only woman he is doing this to.

 

You need to move on and leave this guy behind.

[Janeiac]

Even if you did not actually sleep with him, he is still two-timing this other woman. There is no way to be certain if he telling the truth to you, or to his current live-in girlfriend.

 

If he leaves her, and can stand on his own two feet, then comes to you, you could be certain. Right now all he's don is sniff around, discover that you couldn't offer him a better deal than his current woman, then skulk away.

 

Find someone who treats you with more respect.