PunkKat's healing journal

[punkkat]

I posted my original post here: enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=383463

 

After hanging on to a friendship for 3 months in the hope of reconciliation, and having that shattered...I've decided to move on. The arguments were becoming more frequent, my jealousy of other women around him on the increase...it was time to step right away before I destroyed all the fond memories I believe we both share of our time together. Every time we argued, he kept saying we'd just have to try harder at being friends. So the last time I said no, I was tired of the cycle, and how nothing ever changes. The arguing is not an indication of the relationship we had. The arguing started about just being friends and him not wanting to reconcile.

 

I'm on Day 8 of NC. 15 days since we last spent time together as friends. 7 days since I last saw him (mutual friends event). This is about regaining my sanity. I know it is NOT possible to go from relationship to friendship.

 

I'm really proud of how I'm handling this. I saw him at our mutual friends event, he came over, said hello, gave me a hug. And that was the only time we spoke that night. I had been worried prior to the night how I would react to being around him, alcohol involved. I even managed to leave at the end of the night without saying goodbye, felt kinda bad afterwards tho. I didn't even cry myself to sleep afterwards

 

Weekends are always the hardest though. It's a long weekend too. I have no real desire to contact him. But my mind wanders, wondering how he's spending his weekend, who he's spending it with. Does he miss me?

 

I'm hoping to become the happy, independent girl I used to be. The one who didn't NEED a boyfriend. The girl who was happy living life for herself. Instead of this needy, clingy person I became in trying to get him back.

 

Rant over!

[punkkat]

Today is really killling me. I keep hoping he'll contact me

[twitchyfingers]

It sounds like NC really is the way to go to re-center yourself, given your situation. Trying to be friends after a breakup can be just soooo confusing and painful. You gave it a good shot, so at least you won't have any "what ifs" about it.

 

Day 8 is a good chunk of time. You broke the difficult one-week barrier. There will be up days and down days, but over time, you'll feel better. The needy, clingy you will give way to the centered, happy you once again. Hang in there!

[nekoxchaos]

yeah I remember when a week felt like forever but it does get better and better everyday.... then days become weeks then months and it will fade. Its best to have no contact and feel more grounded then having to stick around probably if he is dating or have other options. so it gets better =) and its a given we all have bad days but we all also have our good days !