Reveiw my dating profile please :)

[Chestpains]

Hi,

 

If you guys could take the time, I would love some feedback on my dating profile. I am a 20 yr old male. Would be great to hear what people think. And if you have any good ideas post them Thanks in advance

 

I love to experiment with food. Crocodile? Yeah, love it! Surprisingly it tastes like Pork and not Chicken, who knew! When it comes to cooking Fresh and Exiting are key, but I do love traditional foods as well. If pan seared Fillet steak served on a bed of Rosemary and Garlic Roast potatoes, drizzled with reduced red wine and tomato isn't your thing how about, Thai Sweet Mango and Octopus fresh leaf Stir-fry, served with Tiger Prawns and Peanut cream dipping sauce? And for the sweet tooth, how about a Quintessentially creamy Chocolate Crème Brulee?

 

But of course cooking isn't everything! I can also be found serving up a few aces at East Anglia Tennis Club of a Wednesday evening. With the warm weather, tennis is the game to play, and if you can't play I am free to teach . I have never played horse-back polo... On the other hand I did play Rugby. I know, they aren't really the same, but they do both involve big hairy animals running around after a ball. I played for Norwich Lions a little over two years, they were a terrific team!

 

I live in the countryside, but work in the city (and play there too!) Why settle for one or the other? Surely its better to have both right!? Nights in or out, they are both the same to me. Its not what you do, its who you're with! Don't get me wrong I love a good night in the city, hitting a few bars, clubs and maybe even a bit of bowling. But with the right company, it can be pretty good at home

 

Truth be told, during the winter I like to put on a pair of wellies and splash through puddles, Camera in hand! I live very close to the broads, in fact the river is just a stone throw from my door. During summer afternoons I can frequently be found outside doing archery or competing against the current in my kayak. Walks along the river are great this time of year too, the sun slowly setting behind St Bennet's Abbey provides a beautiful backdrop, and a great place for a evening stroll!

 

Scuba diving is amazing, full stop. Gliding around the bottom of the sea is just like trespassing into an alien world. This is the one experience that continues to blow me away, and something I will never forget. I have been on about 8 dives and I don't intend on those being my last!

 

I am looking to meet some new friends, but remember I am single and the right friendship may lead to more

[SharkFanatic]

Full Disclosure: I'm a heterosexual man.

 

The profile is very focused on activities and comes accross as a bit impersonal.

Has a positive vibe and doesn't seem self-centred.

You've avoided negativity, which is very smart.

City slicker or country gentleman? Confusing to position yourself as both.

You might want to list your activities as bullet points instead of sentences/paragraphs.

Make sure you have great photos.

Remove the food paragraph. You're not applying for a job as a chef.

Remove the last sentence. Or clarify by saying "seeking women for friendship and dating"

 

I think you need a few more revisions. It's well enough written but it's not what I'd write in the aim of attracting a few birds.

[mfan]

I'm a heterosexual man, too. But I'd like to provide you with feedback if it helps. This profile is almost too much of a good thing! Most people's profiles have too little information because the writer doesn't take the time to describe his interests in a way that conveys his personality. But yours doesn't have that flaw. In fact, I think you went overboard describing your interests so much, to the point where everything about you is there on the page - what's left to discuss with a girl who responds?

 

For example, leave out your favorite food dishes, but when a woman responds with "I like your profile; what are your favorite foods" - THEN you have a wonderfully written description for her. Similarly with scuba diving - you should wait until someone asks you why you like it and THEN give your fun description.

 

This way you'll have some "surprises" in reserve which will make you more interesting to the girl who meets you.

 

Your sense of humor is great and comes accross well in the profile.

 

I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the kind of girl you want to meet. For example, I am seeking a liberal-minded, college-educated woman who has no children and who plans to adopt 16 platypuses when she turns 75 years old.

 

Is your native language German, by any chance? I notice you capitalized a lot of the nouns like the way it's done in German. But this is wrong in English. You spelled Exiting instead of Exciting. Be sure to proofread the grammar carefully.

 

BTW, what is your personal ad screen name? Hopefully something more positive (and younger) sounding than "ChestPains"!

 

 

//Why settle for one or the other? Surely its better to have both right!? Nights in or out, they are both the same to me.//

This paragraph doesn't really say anything. If you liked only the indoors, you would want to say that to make it clear that outdoorsy types won't get along well with you. But if you like anything and everything there's no point taking up space saying it.

 

Best of luck!

[DylanNotorious]

Sounds good to me. Bang a picture up aswell, and I'm sure the ladies will come a running.

 

Woman are into reading long paragraphs and going over information they read. So I'm sure you will get some interest back.