Do you believe that your looks play a role in the people you mainly attract?

[KIDD]

I've just been doing some generalizations and coming to conclusions about some things. I think that I'm a pretty average looking guy.. I don't think I'm an 8 or a 10 on the attraction scale. Far from some type of movie star or model that girls would go gaga over. I've noticed that I seem to have a hard time attracting people who are my type. Like I usually get hit on by people I find either unattractive or just not into for some particular reason. Now I'm not asking for some supermodel or a 10 either, it would be nice to find someone that I find a mutual interest or an attraction for. When I'm usually into someone, they never give me signs that they're into me so I never make a move. But it's so annoying that the ones I'm not into, are more prone to be more bold at approaching,showing signs etc etc. I really don't understand it??

 

It makes me feel unattractive that I normally get hit on by MUCH older people, or the ones I find unattractive. I feel like you attract what you are, if you're not a looker, you'll attract people who don't look good and vice versa.. Do you agree with that concept?

[Fluttershy]

One, you should try to go for someone, even if they don't seem to show signs. Of course, stop any advancements if they say no, but there are a good number of people who are very aloof, or act as though they're uninterested because they're shy when it comes to relationships. It's always worth a shot!

[mouseno4]

Pics or its not true!!

 

 

 

Heh only stirring.

 

I actually prefer older women. Makes me feel better knowing one of us is a 'pro'.

[Teaday]

Not sure it's so simple. I've seen quite a few couples where, according to then general population, one was out of the other's "league."

 

I think a lot of physical attraction has to do with a person's mannerisms and overall demeanor, along with their looks. Then after that initial response comes the influence of other personality characteristics which can make someone seem either uglier or prettier. The gray area is where none of this matches up. Everyone, no matter what they look like, has their own standards and preferences, which I think is fair. (Unless of course they're not "fair" or even slightly reasonable, or become malicious, but that's a whole nother issue.)

[monty77]

hey, at least you get hit on! thats a good sign in my book

[Ariel85]

When I did online dating, I usually got hit on by very unattractive men. VERY. And much, much older, too.

 

But IRL, I get asked out by much younger guys that are very cute.

 

So, there you go. There's really no rhyme or reason to getting hit on. I think.

[cursedgirl]

yeah i think look defenitely plays a role. and interestingly all my relationships started as "love at first sight". if it aint look i dont know what it is.

about "attracting equally attractive people" it's true to an extence. variables are some people have very unique taste or other people have amazing personality.or some people are just very bad luck..

[He2Him]

It's not only about looks. It's very much about ''the way''. Look, you can hardly change your face (ok plastic surgery etc, but we don't go there) It's about much more, your posture, your way of acting, your confidence, self-esteem. A not so good looking person (according to general assumption of majority people - lets use this as a measure) can attract nicer looking girls than guy who's better looking. Maybe a better looking guy is a whimp.

 

Now, not to be talking only theory, I'll give you a real life advice. Hit a gym! Seriously, start going there 4-6 times a week, change your nutrition for better and healthier. I won't list all the things that going to gym will teach you, because there's ton of them. What's important, I believe to motivate you, is the benefits. You will be more self-confident, you will worry less, you will have higher self-esteem, better posture, everything will change, you'll have more energy, you will be happier and you will attract more people. More girls will be checking you out and so on and on and on.

 

Don't think that everybody does it, if you take a good hard look around yourself at all the people you meet throughout the day, you'll see that they're losers. It's almost like reading a book, you see they are shy, not confident, weak, afraid. So as said, hit a gym. Your life will be changed, forever, and you'll never want to go back. I guarantee that.

[Day_Walker]

I think that your assumptions are what is hurting, people hit on you because they think that you are attractive, thats it.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I would hope not.

[TSandullo]

Do you believe that your looks play a role in the people you mainly attract?

 

Absolutely. However, I would take the time to carefully define 'looks'

First things first: If you were literally invisible, you would not be noticed, let alone attract anybody. It may seem obvious but I am illustrating a key point here: You have to be seen to attract.

 

Thereafter there are the other things: Hair style, eye colour, skin tone, grooming, ear shape, nose size, clothing style, height as well as other things such as attitude, mannerisms that I believe are considered to be 'looks'

 

The 'looks' are part of the initial attraction, everything else follows after that.

 

The women you attract, you may not find attractive. But the ones who do find you attractive may not be approaching you or giving you signs because they perhaps shy, insecure, you name it.

 

However, when one opens the path to effective communication, things open up after that.

 

You are a young guy, keep getting out there and talking to people. From what you describe, you seem like an appealing person.

 

TS

[BriarRose]

Yes, attractive people will most likely hit on and date other attractive people. However, looks only get you in the door. Personality does count.

[BritterSweet]

How you look can indeed affect who you attract. If you looked like a total bookworm, chances are you would attract someone who was into that type.