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Boyfriend doesn't want to be trusted?


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He used to have a lot of girl friends before getting together with me, and after getting together with me, he started giving them cold treatments on facebook and stuffs like that. We're in a LDR and i think he does text those girls at times. I'm a very jealous person but i've brought myself to be understanding that those are just his girl friends. So i always act like i'm generous and don't mind him interacting with them through texts. However he gets disturbed by this fact and wants me to question him a lot. I guess he is just insecure. He says that he feels loved whenever i question him. If i convince myself that i shouldn't mind, i wouldn't mind and wouldn't be disturbed. But if i actually start asking questions, i would mind, truckloads because being jealous is my nature. What should i do? I'm just thinking we should both have our friends back. But he would mind if i text with other guys. So, i've never replied any guy friend's text(pure friendship) since we got together. However he does text the girls occasionally and i find it really unfair? I don't really get the picture here either. This is confusing.

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It wouldn't be very healthy for you to let your jealousy out just to please him when you're making a conscious effort to be mature and respect his space and need for friends. This doesn't make all that much sense....

Talk to him and ask him what he needs from you. See if it's something you're willing to give and also see if it's a one way street or if he's willing to do the same for you in return.

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I think your guy is just really insecure about himself. The fact that he wants you to question him, makes me think he wants you to know he is being faithful - for both your and his sake. I guess it makes him feel secure knowing that you know everything he does. How to cure insecurity in your guy? No idea im afraid. But in my opinion, he is genuinely loyal and he wants and likes you knowing that fact.


I would however suggest sitting down and really talking to him. Get to know him and his thoughts and feelings. Perhaps he just does not feel any self worth? And that texting is a emotionless environment where he can express himself without fear of being put on the spot by you.

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He too can't get over my family's upbringing that exposing cleavages are fine to my family. That's what my mum has been doing. But one thing about us is that nobody get to touch them. We know our physical boundaries clear. And we don't intentionally flash. We just wear what looks good on us.


There was once when a bunch of friends and us went someone and i was wearing something cleavage-revealing. A guy friend said to me, "xxxx, this is exhibition, i can see everything." He said this to me in front of my boyfriend and he felt like it was so insulting. But since he's got his hands on my boobs(he's the first & will be the last person who has touched them), i started minding a lot about exposing and i always hide everything well now. But he's saying that all the accumulated events made him feel like i don't really mind about exposing. He said the the insecurities will always be there. What can i do?

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