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Ex boyfriend/girlfriend back together- can such relationship still grow at all?


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just assume they get back together for best reasons,like both willing to try again etc etc..is it possible such pre-wounded relationship really grow again?

or the feelings can never come back,and things can never be the same anymore, the scar will always be there and it's doomed failure?

any real life example?

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It depends, is this something that is actually happening or just a pipe dream you are torturing yourself with?


yes i got back with my bf and things seem fine at the moment(hasnt been long though) but i still feel hurt when i think about the word he said when we borke up. we both have problems.like i was selfish and immature, and he has really weak willpower. and he dumped me first after an argument over something miscellaneous. however when we cooled down we decided to take it back. i deeply regreted for what ive done and he also said we should forget it happened and carried on and he loves me.

so far he hasnt distant me.his passion seems normal as before and his behavior seems same as usual. and i also improved a lot from my bad habits.from the surface everything is fine.but deep inside of me cant get over of what he said (like "if you think your better off without me,just go" "i can live totally fine without you""what's wrong with going back to before") doesnt it show he doesnt need me at all?and whenever in the future he gets angry about something,he will probably easily dump me again.

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Anything is possible...it's up to the individuals involved to make things work. Relationships require compromise, boundaries, communication, etc ..for them to work properly.


Love is about understanding. Hopefully the both of you have truly worked on your issues for the long haul, not a temporary band aid.


Good luck.

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If you read enough on this forum, you'll see that most successful reconciliations (get back together for a LONG time or married) really take a lot of time in between. Usually a break up and get back together doesn't work. Just because either one person changed or felt they had to and the other didn't. Usually it takes change for the better on both ends and examination of self. Then the willingness to work through the issues and try again. That is MOST situations that I've seen IMO. Every situation is different, but really examine it deeply before you think about reconciliation.

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I agree that successful reconciliations often require a lot of time between so that people can:


1. heal from the pain of the breakup/post breakup loss

2. understand where the other person came from

3. see the positives of the breakup

4. improve themselves

5. even "forget" (or stop feeling continuous pain) from what the other person said/did


-Forgiveness (letting go of the hurt),

-neutraility (looking at the past without reliving it),

-teamwork (willingness to work together on reconciliation as a team),

-joy (having fun together),

-compassion (having genuine empathy for each other),

-communication (openness about concerns so that you can work on them together), and

-patience (because rebuilding trust takes a long time.


These are the keys to reconciliation. Are you ready to let go? Are you ready to do what it takes? Those are the real questions you should be asking yourself.

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