guest281 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 after reading this forum it has got me thinking loads... im going to forget about my ex, as it does seem when you think less and less about them it could mean she could come back.. and by then i would be strong enough to say no. my story is: my ex and me were happy for a year together. we broke up in april. she broke up with me, and after being in contact with a new guy for 2 months prior to break up she was with him instantly. i trusted her, and never dreamt she would do this to me. yes im stupid, but love is blind. 2 weeks before breaking up we booked a holiday. through out our time together she always said she loved me, and has never loved anyone as much as she loves me. then said she would die if we ever broke up. i reasurred her saying we wouldnt. we were happy. well so i thought. this new guy was trying to get with her. she called him a weirdo etc. that was in feb. i didnt know they were in contact until a few weeks before we broke up, but she had to have been. i was lying beside her while she text him and i still never questioned it! grrr how stupid am i! i did trust her with everything. so she TEXT me saying she wasnt happy anymore and i tried to make her change her mind as all our friends said how good we were, and shocked she ended it. they always said they wouldnt have seen her ending it - but me. i wouldnt have ever ended it. so, she decided she didnt know what she wanted for 3 weeks.. kept saying she didnt know, met up twice with me, kissed me once, and 2nd time she lay and cuddled into me, got naked (for a shower) and kissed my lips and face. then after 3 weeks said she didnt want me. inside those 3 weeks, i sent her flowers, letter, chocolate. no avail. then few weeks ago she deleted me of facebook by saying it would be easier for both of us. i didnt say nothing. next day she text saying she had a dream that i met someone else. then rang crying if i meet someone it will kill her, and she will punch us both. i didnt rise to it, as i knew she was with the new guy and she didnt know i knew. then she left one mutual friend on facebook and he told me they have being saying i love you to each other and talking of marriage, and that he is the best bf ever and basically just the meanest things aimed at me. it was my birthday the other day and she text happy birthday and she hopes im well. i just said thanks. i want no contact to get over her, and maybe this could get her back, i know i could never trust her again but saying that i still love her like crazy. i seen her at the weekend, and i have lost weight, looked good and she has put weight on and looked really sad, and her expressions where she knew what she has lost... she has moved in with this guy, so i guess my hope of her coming back is over. but somewhere deep down thinks its not going to work as they are rushing it, and that she has just replaced me after i told her no contact, its as if she is living in her own wee bubble and keeping out the hurt? no contact is the only way to go with her, but while she is having the time of her life now i feel depressed! she has obviously thought both situations over and picked him over me. wait till their honey moon period is over.. she will be in for a shock. what do you make of this story? Link to comment
Sim54 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Sorry you are here, and sorry for the heartbreak. Firstly, she doesn't sound very loyal, and given time you will place your value high enough to never want her again. Secondly, the unhealthy way she has handled this doesn't mean she will suddenly realise her mistake and come back. Rebounds can and do work. In the end, the advise is always the same. Stick to NC, heal up, and try to move on from this. Nothing you do or say right now can change anything. And what you think isn't going to bring her back. Chin up, and press on. As Churchill said: If you're going through hell, keep going! Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Your story is just like any other person on here when they left for someone else. Go NC not to get her back hanging on a thread. Go NC to heal yourself and learn to live without her like you know you can. Take her off the pedestal. And move on with your life. Don't be vindictive and hope it will fail, that's not healthy. Just assume the worst, and MOVE ON! You don't need someone or some girl in your life to make you happy. Sure the quick easy sex and the someone there to show you love is nice...it is just something you got used to. Now you have to learn to get used to not having it...you will be fine, it just takes time. Remember, NC is the best. Pick yourself up and prove your own strength. We all do silly things in the acts of desperation and love for the ones we think we can't live without. This is a false mentality that we get addicted to. Train yourself to be better than that, and learn to be more self-sufficient...we have two hands for a reason...so when we get tired with one...we can switch to the other Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 so now, she has found out im going on a date tomorrow night, and asked me. i just said i was meeting a friend. she doesnt seem too happy, and asked me why i didnt speak to her last weekend when i seen her. i havent replied.. please help me. i dunno whether she is jealous or seeing if i still care about her? Link to comment
sweetlittleone Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 You do not have to justify yourself to her nor is it any of her business who you are spending time with. I would go strict NC and enjoy your date tomorrow night - hard I know but she is playing mind games and does not seem a very nice person to let you move on Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 yeah she doesnt seem to want me to move on. i reckon its because she knows im a good guy and that this new guy is so fake. but i cant keep thinking what if, and what might happen as im only setting my self up for a major fall. we seen each other last weekend and by the way she was looking at me she was really sad and knows she has lost a good thing. i dont have to justify myself to her, as not once have i mentioned this new guy. i have been the bigger person and hopefully one day she realises this.. i love her with all my heart still Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Go NC. I had this with my ex. The only time he ever got in touch was when I went NC and he obviously panicked and thought that I was moving on. However, he didnt really want me back, he was just looking for an ego boost. Its like it was ok for him to discard me without a thought but he didnt want me to move on either. Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 yeah i havent answered her question of why i didnt talk to her. why should i when she left me for someone else after a year. also i was out on a night out, didnt want drama, and dont feel like i can talk to her face to face. i do hope one day if she came crawling back i would be strong enough to say no. but hey that might not happen. yeah, she hasnt cared about me through out this break up, and when i ignore her once, it seems she wants an explanation. but she will wait along time to get it. hurts so much when i look at the good times, we were actually perfect. guess thats just fake! Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well in my experience the brain always seems to remember the good times and the bad times just seem to get erased. I have spent weeks trying to remember all the negatives about him, which far outweight the positives. But still the positives invade my brain. Its all so illogical lol Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 i know, its not good! the only negatives i have is the break up really, the way she dumped me and instantly replaced me. and texting him behind my back. but sure, i have learnt my lesson, we had our future planned out, saving for a house, and family. we even booked a holiday 2 weeks before breaking up!! why?! Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Who knows how they can discard someone so readily. I have spent weeks trying to figure that one out. But I always maintain if they really wanted you, they would be with you. And wouldnt even think of replacing you. Yeah maybe the new guy is a disappointment. Doesnt mean that you are the right guy. Just dont let her play games, it will be worse in the end. Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Go on your date and dont give her a second thought. You never know this person may be the right one for you. Dont let your ex cloud it. Enjoy x Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 thanks for your kind words.. it has really helped me and picked me up again, its just so confusing!xx Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Confusion is the name of the game and she is playing it Link to comment
guest281 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 why.. can she not just be content with her new relationship instead of finding out what i am up too? Link to comment
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