Serious need of life advice. I am lost and trying to find my way out.

[GrowingIn]

This turned out much longer than I wanted it too, but the advice I need is of dire importance.

 

Ten years ago I dropped out of college after a year and a half and failing two courses. Looking back at my transcript today, I noticed my first two semesters I had a 3.28 GPA, one C and the rest As and Bs. I don't know exactly what was going through my head at that time but my third semester I took a nose dived, failed two classes, lost my financial aid and dropped out of college.

 

I got into sales, I got married, I got promoted through sales, bought house, and then I lost everything following a divorce. I also know that in sales I was only motivated while in my relationship with my ex wife. It was the relationship that motivated me to make the money, but deep down I hated making money while ripping people off. I have been trying to switch careers but so far I have not gotten a single job interview except in sales. Forced to move back in with parents, working a part time job and realizing I have done NOTHING, and have NOTHING to show for all of these years and next year I will be 30 years old. I always regretted not finish college, but one of MY BIGGEST problems, even when I was in school that continues even today, is that I have no idea what to do. No idea what career to go for. No idea what degree to go for. When other students were set on their goals, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off asking them what I should be doing. After being dumped, you get such great advice that it's time to focus on your life so you can move on. Again, it's always been so hard for me to move on, not because I couldn't get over, but because of the lack of direction.

 

After yet another failed relationship, I am once again alone and in the same spot. I'm realizing one of my main issues in life is not being able to make decisions such as this on my own. I am totally isolated with very few friends I can relate to and once again trying to figure out what to do with my life.

 

I still cannot decide. The answer just doesn't come. But today I have found out that even with my two failed courses, I am still in good academic standing, and I may have a chance of getting my financial aid re-instated. If I bust my ass and go back, I have a chance of finishing right around a 3.0 GPA provided I get nothing but As and Bs from here on out for another 3 years. It's a tall order, but I must say I did fail English in 10th grade and for the remaining 2 years busted my ass and finished high enough to get accepted into a university, so I HAVE done it before.

 

Problem is, I have the same problem. I just cannot decide on a career or a course of study. I search my inner self and find nothing. Considering this, I feel like at the very least I would like to finish just for the sake of finishing but I also realize how retarded it is to get in debt, if you have no career path or goals. I just feel like finishing it would be an accomplishment. I feel that perhaps the reason I have no friends is because the people I would relate to are probably the type of people that go to college and achieve something in life. That maybe that's where I should have met them. It is the reason I have a hard time moving on after a relationship. The one thing I did want with all my heart and believe in, was to have a family and marry someone from my home country and build something together, but after 2 failed attempts, it seems I keep ending up in co-dependent relationships and I can't seem to achieve that. For me, as long as I was working towards a family I felt it didn't matter what type of work I did to bring in the money, but my drive rested completely on the relationship working out. So when they fail, I am back to alone and lost as always. I HAVE GOT TO FIGURE THIS OUT SOMEHOW!

 

So my question to you all, considering everything that I have said above, is this: Would you do it if you had the chance? Would you go back to school not knowing what you want to do? Would you do it even though indecision was the reason that caused your loss in motivation in the first place and you still have the same issue? Is there a chance this time around things will be different? Is there a chance that I may find my life purpose and my direction in college this time around?

 

I have the motivation to do something about my life. I want to make changes, I want to change my life more than anything. Some close to me think I am lazy, but that is not it. I want to push myself and achieve something more than anything. And if I could just figure out that one thing, and BELIEVE in it, I know I would dedicate myself 100%. I just don't know what that one thing is.

 

Please help me!

[WildChild]

Well, first of all I think it's great that you have the knowingness and desire to go back to college, that in itself is worth a pat on the back! The one thing is that they give you a career choice test, something to kind of figure out both what you like, don't like, want, don't want, etc. At the end, you get a score in where you would excel in or maybe not so much, and it gives you an idea of an avenue of career options you may not have thought of. I went back to college around the age of 28-29, and had did the same thing as you the first time around, and dropped out. But the older I got, I knew I wanted to make something of myself, and something I could do for myself. At the time, I was married, and had our first son already (second one came a month before I graduated). When I went back, my goal was to make the Dean's List one semester. That one semester incentive lead me to making the Dean's List every semester (but the final one, not enough credits because it was just finalizing and finishing up my degree), and graduated with honors. So it is very doable for you to go back to college and be a successful student at your age, especially because you know you can do it! So my perception is, is do whatever it is for yourself. Whatever makes you happy, because it is YOUR life and future, even if you are or aren't with someone. Speak with a guidance counselor as well, that's what I did when I decided I wanted to go back. And after I took that career choice test, was all it took and the rest was history!

[GrowingIn]

Yeah well the sad part is even though I can go back, I found out I can ace pretty much every class and I will never make the dean's list, or end up with a higher GPA than a 3.2 because of the 2 failed classes 10 years ago. I'm at 2.66 right now after two Fs so I can be perfect for the next 3 years, but my GPA will reflect average at the end of the day. Happened to me in high school too. Straight A's and B's except for my failed English class(failed it with an A, because of unexcused absences) which kept me from getting into a really good university or a scholarship. Just that ONE mistake.

 

And as far as career tests, this was always my issue. I am naturally an introvert. If I'm honest I will automatically place good for careers that either require working alone, which is what I am doing now, or introverted type jobs. It's what I have always been good at. Math, physics, numbers, computers, science. But that's also EXACTLY what's bad for me in life and in relationships, because I have become that way out of fear or lack of social skills, which is EXACTLY what I need to work on. So do I go for what I'm naturally good at, or for what I want to become, but is anti-who I am and have no clue if I can succeed? I like helping others, and feel the need for connection with others and relationships, but I SUCK at that. At the same time I hate being isolated even though that's where I thrive.

 

I could have become a great computer programmer or physicist. But I couldn't stand the idea of spending my life in front of a computer for the rest of my life. Do you see my dilemma?

[Jetta]

I just graduated from college and yes I'm 37, I went back when I was 34. It wasn't easy but it is doable. Also my recommendation to you is marketing but again that's sales so if you want to go a completely different route, determine what you're likes are. What you'd do if you won the lottery and didn't have to work kind of thing.

[GrowingIn]

I just graduated from college and yes I'm 37, I went back when I was 34. It wasn't easy but it is doable. Also my recommendation to you is marketing but again that's sales so if you want to go a completely different route, determine what you're likes are. What you'd do if you won the lottery and didn't have to work kind of thing.

 

Thanks but I have done marketing. B2B. Not my thing. Also done sales, went as high as I think I could have gone, crashed when I got into management. Made good money, but it didn't keep me motivated long enough and I was only good at it as long as I was striving for a family.

 

I got tired of ripping people off even though for years I brainwashed myself like I needed to that we were really doing them a favor. I didn't want to brainwash myself completely and knew deep down in my heart, it wasn't what I was supposed to do so I got out and decided I would never go back. I liked being convincing and persuasive, I liked working with people, but I didn't like the ups and downs, the stress got to me, and eventually got burned out. I didn't feel like I was actually contributing or making something.