Afraid I will lose friends....

[renaissancewoman101]

if I end up giving up on the sport I have been soo passionately trying to learn.

 

I'm actually not sure what to do now. About 2 weeks ago, I actually passed one of my levels I was calm enough and used my breathing techniques that I learned and actually completed the level with flying colors.

 

Since then, it has gone to hell. Did the next level up and failed miserably (twice). Got into some serious situations that my instructor had to rescue me out of.

 

There are a few instructors who don't want to go up with me again. I think I am being slowly guided to quit this sport. I have been told to go back to the tunnel before coming out again to do another level. I hate tunnel. It's expensive, and although it is a great learning tool, it isn't the same as going up there.

 

I'm not sure what to do. Every time I see people doing the sport, I am excited to go up and can't wait to go up again.

 

I have made so many friends doing this sport and they all can't wait till I get licensed so we can ALL share in it. I haven't felt this happy in years.

 

And I might have to give it all up. I don't want to lose my friends, and I want to share in this with them.

 

I dunno what to do.

 

I wish this came easier to me, since it seems to come easy to a lot of other people.

[Mephisto13]

If it's a sport where you can easily die (re: parachuting), listen to the instructors. They aren't there to be your friend, they are there to train you so you don't get hurt. Maybe you needed more practice.

 

If you give up, you'll lose friends. But I don't understand why you passionately love this sport and think of quitting already...who's the guy you're trying to impress/spend time with?

[renaissancewoman101]

Mephisto, I've been going at this for over 5 months. Been struggling the whole way up. I practice as much as I can, both in the sky and in the wind tunnel.

 

I honestly don't know what to do. I still enjoy doing the sport, but I also think the instructors are giving up on me (aka because I am having problems with staying stable in the sky and that can be very dangerous for me AND the instructors).

 

I don't want to quit. I just wish it didn't cost so much.

[annie24]

Why can't you just enjoy the current level you are at and not push yourself to keep advancing? this is a dangerous sport, they are looking out for your life and theirs.

[renaissancewoman101]

Annie, if I stay at this level, I won;t have my license and I won't be able to jump with anybody (except for instructors). All I want is to get my license so I can jump with my friends. I don't even want to get involved in the more complicated stuff that this sport offers.

 

Honestly, I'm not sure what I am going to do right now. There's also been some "drama" at the dz that I've been involved with and that's not making me look good there (apparently people twist my words around). It's caused some friction between me and some instructors.

 

Getting involved with this sport has changed my life a lot and made me a lot happier. I've made a lot of friends and actually have not seen T or his bf in over a month (we still talk on the phone). I actually spend more time at the dz with my friends and doing my lessons, rather than dealing with T and his crap.

[bmm]

If you love it keep at it. I went skydiving last year 3 times and loved it. I've been trying to save up so I can do the certification course here in Eloy, AZ. They just want to make sure your safe. Keep at it. It will all be worth it in the end. And as for the cost, I know it's expensive. I talked to a few people who were going through their testing and they said they were emptying out savings accounts, cashing in 401K's, etc, to get their testing done. I don't know about all that, but it is an expensive sport, but I think it'd be completely worth it.

[petite]

I think the reason some instructors are being careful is because you are a liability and no one wants a liability on their hands. You've tried and tried and unfortunately with some sports there comes a time when we have to sit and evaluate is it really that important and can you find the same pleasure in other activities. Because I realize how important the license is and it was important to me, it's a sport I enjoy a lot (so I understand the need to succeed and pass the levels) but if you're experiencing so many problems you need to evaluate if it's really worth the risk.

You've obviously made friendships there which can continue outside the sport; you don't need to be a part of the sport to have these people as friends and at the end of the day if you really want to skydive go with an instructor. Sure it might not be as "fun" as doing it on your own but at times we just need to give up certain hobbies for our safety.

 

You can take a break and just relax a little instead of being stressed about it and then go back and see if you've progressed. Or maybe put your money and energy into other sports. I don't know if you're employed currently so maybe that's something you want to look into or going back to the gym, maybe swimming because you enjoyed swimming or taking up something else entirely which will also benefit your health.

 

It seems like you're really worried about the friendships and if these people are your friends, then they will continue being your friends whether you have a license or not.

[Miss Firecracker]

Ren, there are so many hobbies out there. And if these people don't keep in touch with you, were they even friends? I think not.

[petite]

If you love it keep at it. I went skydiving last year 3 times and loved it. I've been trying to save up so I can do the certification course here in Eloy, AZ. They just want to make sure your safe. Keep at it. It will all be worth it in the end. And as for the cost, I know it's expensive. I talked to a few people who were going through their testing and they said they were emptying out savings accounts, cashing in 401K's, etc, to get their testing done. I don't know about all that, but it is an expensive sport, but I think it'd be completely worth it.

 

She has already invested a lot of money into the sport, and as a fellow skydiver I realize the expense I also realize the thrill, the adrenalin and excitement - also the accomplishment. But if she is becoming a liability to others and herself it's time to perhaps take a break and come back at a later time or think about some other sport. I think unless you really have the money for any sport it's absolutely silly to empty savings accounts and 401K's - that's just plain silly and careless.

[renaissancewoman101]

Ren, there are so many hobbies out there. And if these people don't keep in touch with you, were they even friends? I think not.

 

True.

 

Actually, if I did give up on this sport, I would still hang out at the dz. I have been told that I would be welcome there if I didn't jump. And there are a few people who hang out and don't jump. One of the ladies is like the "dz mama" there. She brings home cooked food for everybody on the weekends and she is someone great to talk to.

 

Petite, yes, I could jump with instructors still, if I didn't progress onward.

 

I'm not sure what I am going to do yet. I know I miss going up since I didn't go up last weekend.

[Marah]

I agree with Miss Firecracker

[thejigsup]

I made my living for years riding horses. I rode my own show horses (hunters and jumpers) trained show horses for others, and worked with thoroughbred race horses. We got so many people bugging us to teach them to ride either show horses or race horses. Their safety had to come before anything else. There were many people I had to stop lessons with. They would have ended up badly hurt. I can ride almost any kind of horse, I love it. Skydiving, girl, you have my total respect! Keep trying with the instructors and see if you can master this, if not, be thankful you had the experience and made some friends.

[Miss Firecracker]

I never thought I'd hear you say you've stayed away from T & Boyfriend a whole month! That's a greater accomplishment than jumping. Congratulations, Ren.

[renaissancewoman101]

I never thought I'd hear you say you've stayed away from T & Boyfriend a whole month! That's a greater accomplishment than jumping. Congratulations, Ren.

 

Thanks! We still talk on the phone, but with the exception of stopping by for about 2 hours on a Sat evening, about a month ago, I haven't really seen them since end of April. I actually prefer to hang at the dz on the weekends (even if I don't jump). I chat with people, learn stuff, and party afterwards (I don't drink though).

 

I've been a lot happier.

[lavenderdove]

Skydiving is such a dangerous sport... if they don't think it is safe, then they are right for your own sake to tell you you need more practice. If doing lots of tunnel work is what you need, then do it, and just have fun while you're at it at the parties. I think if you can show them you are safe, they will go up with you, so you have to do what it takes and all the practice it takes, or accept that you don't have the money or desire to put in the practice.

 

So just keep at it, and meanwhile just go to the parties and have fun and jump when you can with instructors. And look into other sports and activities.. .nothing says you should have only one hobby or one set of friends! Why not take up hiking, or biking too? Those are fun, free activities and there are clubs you can join for that.

[penelope13]

What is the reason you have trouble to stabilize? Is it physical or is it mental? In case it's physical is it something that you could overcome by training or not? - If it is mental, then I think your highest priority should be (it should be anyway for other reasons as suggested many times) to invest as much time, energy and funds into overcoming those mental blocks as the physical blocks.

 

If it is something that no matter how much you would train you couldn't overcome then it might be time to readjust your goals slightly. It doesn't mean that you have to give up the sport altogether, but that you have to accept more realistic goals.

[carbon14]

What is the reason you have trouble to stabilize? Is it physical or is it mental? In case it's physical is it something that you could overcome by training or not? - If it is mental, then I think your highest priority should be (it should be anyway for other reasons as suggested many times) to invest as much time, energy and funds into overcoming those mental blocks as the physical blocks.

 

If it is something that no matter how much you would train you couldn't overcome then it might be time to readjust your goals slightly. It doesn't mean that you have to give up the sport altogether, but that you have to accept more realistic goals.

 

I was about to ask the same question! Would enrolling in some yoga or meditation classes help you conquer the mental aspect or maybe some weight lifting to help your form stable? If nothing else, I think taking some time off and doing some cross training will help take the pressure off of trying to get to that next level. Maybe take a step back to celebrate passing the first level instead of just looking at is something you had to do to get to the next level.

[renaissancewoman101]

Things are going a lot better now.

 

Found a way (through meditation), to get my anxiety a bit more under control.

 

AND, I passed 2 levels this weekend. Onward and upward as they say. It's finally becoming a lot of fun for me. I have a lot of supportive friends (both who share in my sport with me, and other people in my life), and it's been a great help.

 

Other things in my life are also going well, so life is good.

[penelope13]

Oh Ren that is fantastic!

[annie24]

yay renny!!! very happy for you!

[Clint Cora]

I would agree that if you really love this sport (as opposed to just participating for the sake of your friends), you would stick to it even if it's going to take you longer to advance. It took my eight years to go from level 1 ski instructor to level 2 and not once did I think about quitting since I love skiing too much. Yes, your friends are great to have but you have to do the sport or any passion for you first. And if you want to properly advance the right and safe way, you listen to your instructors (of course, you can always try at another school but you might get the same feedback there). Just keep training and enjoy the process. True passions should be enjoyable at any level.

[JonasWaingaro]

Grats Ren! Awesome you got past that hurdle. Glad life is good for ya!