Ouch, cousin. Ouch.

[MagzO]

You know how there are always people around you that no matter how nice you are to them, how much you care for them and how many favors you do for them, they are still ungrateful and rude to you? Well, welcome to my family!

 

I exaggerate, but God, did it hurt today. It wasn't anything big, but considering how sad I've been lately, it really hit me. There's this cousin who's always asking me for favors. Teach her how to use the computer, tutor her kids, baby sit, check her computer, cook, tend her when she comes over. You know the deal. I'm always doing anything she asks, I have to add, and I've never once been rude to her in any way.

 

Now... she has some issues. See, she has this husband, who we all hate. I'm sorry, but he had another family while being with her and their two children, then cheated on both of them with another woman, and then another woman. And my cousin comes over and cries with me and my mother, yells about him, says she's definitely going to leave him for good, and then he goes over, they have sex and it's all good... while he still has all these four women at the same time. She can't expect us to like her situation. The kids are a mess. My niece, the youngest, is turning out so natsy because she plays daddy vs mommy, and my nephew, the oldest, is always quiet and failing school, because she keeps praising him with expensive presents, maybe to compensate for their 'modern family' thing. Anyway, it is her life. I know it is, but when she comes over and cries and such and then goes back, it makes us hate this guy for both ruining her life and my nephews.

 

Well, we still love her and try to accept everything. There's nothing much you can do about this kind of person. She 'loves him too much' or so she says. Anyway, I'm always there for her and care for her kids like no other cousin is.

 

...And today I actually felt a blow coming from her. Well, all the cousins were getting together at her house, so my youngest cousin invited me over without asking. It wasn't a big deal and in a family as big as mine, it's actually rather normal to just drop by when everyone else does. My oldest cousin called her to tell her we were going and she asks 'Who's we?'

 

Oh God, people should really stop using the highest volume for conversations. The moment she heard my name she started complaining. I was actually hurt. I never ever did something to offend her in any way, nor have I told her anything about her situation. I actually complain to my mother for being nosy and giving her opinions to everyone who doesn't ask for them.

 

...I really feel like it was the daughter paying for the sins of the mother. We arrived over, dropped my other family members, and my youngest cousin, getting angry at her reaction, drove us both back to my house where we had lunch. It wasn't a big deal, but I just couldn't understand why my other cousin would hate so much the fact that I was joining them.

 

Well, I do have a theory. She'd 'finally left him' for what feels the tenth time already, and told my mom as much, after finding out about the fourth woman... and when we arrived to her house there he was, playing dad and husband. I don't really care. It's her business, but I have a feeling she was worried I might tell my mother and she would start yelling at her again.

 

...Anyway, I felt really bad. I actually never thought I would be treated so rudely by my own family, much less by someone I've always loved and cared for. And not only for her, but for her children too.

 

Maybe I'm exaggerating. I don't know anymore. xD

[He2Him]

Don't get caught in dramas of other people lives. Live your own.

[Mephisto13]

You seem to have a lot of anger towards her husband (who is a real classless piece of work)...but this is all her fault. All this drama.

 

Next time she comes over to cry, tell her to talk to someone else.

 

Unless she actually does something to get out of that situation...she will always come over moaning and complaining. And don't worry. The reason she didn't want you there wasn't because she doesn't love you or anything...it was because she's been * * * * * ing and moaning about her deadbead husband to you...and didn't want you to risk saying anything that would indicate that to him (given that he was there, playing father and husband).

 

Either that, or she likes the pity and attention.

 

Either way, unless you want to keep feeling like this, cut contact...but let her know that you'll be there if she really wants to help herself (but not for just another pity party) when she decides to leave him (given she has no self respect and no motherly instincts...I don't think it will be her decision).

[MagzO]

You know, even if I do hate her husband, I think most of that comes from how he treats his children. The jerk is constantly telling my little niece that every fight he has with her mother is her fault. She cries at school randomly and is kind of a hateful child. I love her though and try to be patient. And he even steals money from the oldest. And I adore this nephew of mine. This is the boy who dressed up as Harry Potter and I took to every movie premiere, read the books to since he was a tiny little thing, and actually had sleep overs in my house with all my nephews and nieces for Nintendo nights. I'm the aunt who acts like a little kid. xD But yeah, I love these kids and I hate the situation they are going through. My niece is too young to notice, but how would you feel if your father brought home his mistresses and introduced them to you? I understand why my nephew hates him.

 

And even though I have many reasons to hate this jerk, I never once said something bad about him to my cousin. Not once. Not when she comes over to complain and cry. Hell, all I've told her was to not cry and yell in front of the kids, because the youngest gets scared. And I've never done anything rude to him either. Mom's the one who complains to him and yells and ignores him. I'm the one who actually greets him when we arrive at their house... And still my cousin won't have me over... that ungrateful... GAH.

[Mephisto13]

Wow...and your cousin's still with this * * * * * ?

 

In that case, forget her, forget the husband. Be a good aunt to those kids. The situations that their parents are putting them through is going to cause them great problems in the future. If they know and feel that at least one person loves them unconditionally...they will come to you when they need help.

 

And that's MUCH better than those two douches they call "mom" and "dad".

[MagzO]

Well, my cousin came over to apologize for her behavior. I think it made things worse. God, I hate how emotional my family is. We're a bunch of girls, 9 girls against 3 boys. Not good odds if you want a gossip free environment. Do we love gossip? It was my fault, really. I was upset and mother asked me what was wrong and I told her... and she cried. I hate it when people cry. I think it's stupid and overreacting, but they are all so emotional. I blame the latin blood. Anyway, she came over and apologized and mom was there and instead of it going with "Oh, cousin, of course I forgive you. I understand. Now come give me a hug, you cow." It went to mom crying her eyes out telling her how much she loves her and then my cousin crying and them hugging, with me staring and wondering what the hell had happened.

 

...It was an odd experience because last I knew my cousin was rude to ME and not my mother. Oh well. I guess people will never change. I'm the odd one out in my family as it is, always telling them to stop the gossip and the emotional wrecks. I constantly tell my mother that she has to stop judging others, especially my cousins, because they, well, they hate it. God, I hate it and I'm the daughter. There's some room for her to judge me and constantly nag me about my life. But when she does it to people she shouldn't do it to (and I still feel doing it to me is a stretch) drives me crazy. I feel that she pushes people away from her and, ultimately, from me.