endemic Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Hello everyone, Thank you for inputs you really do help! I do not know where to start - but I am really confused. A month ago I met this gourgous 22 year old girl I am 37 -she is a model and I instantly took a liking to her. I asked her for a contact and she gave me her Facebook address. We then chatted the next day exchanged numbers and all was good. We made a date to meet and she said tuesday - tuesday came but she avoided it eventually we met friday - it was great! We went to the beach and spoke etc I asked her to meet saturday and she said yes -during the next weekend she avoided me and said she was busy with her father etc We met Monday evening again after I called her and told her that it was not nice what she did....we met tuesday too and it was all good when we were together it was bliss! Wednesday too....... Thursday I had to leave her city and so we continued with SMS - emails etc Until last Sunday! This relationship was only going on for a month but i feel very drained confused like a child in love ... it seemed like we were together for a long time. Wont get into all the details but during this time She would never answer an SMS until after a few hours, or not answer her mobile or hang up qafter i call her. She would get on facebook leave messages there without answering emails or sms i sent...the little i got to know here she always said that she has lots of problems - work with her father - she does not trust anyone - she always stays alone in her room when she is down and cant speak her problems! It was always hard and she got pissed off when i sent her a few sms after each other. She used words like i am a gentlemen - I am not the same like the others - I am a good man but then also said I was stressful - excessive too much! I feel like it started great then it started to change - I always tried to be the calm person and understand her as i am older and treated her well and never tried to take advantage of her... last week I organised to get her favourite one of the most rarest flowers flown in and sent to her it took alot of work and money but it happened, she got them on saturday around 3 pm - no sms nothing. I tried calling her she answered and as she said hello she hang up! I called again and she nnever answered! I sent her an sms after about 8 hours as no thankyou still! Sunday i recieved an sms - " check your emails " This is what i got ...... sorry for her english - listen k...first of all i wanna thank you for the plant..it was very nice move and i was very touched about it...but......you are still excessive and stressful.i do not have credits on my telephone and yesterday i had a lot of work..i try to be calm and not be agry with u all the time but i see that we can not communicate each other....why are u doing this to me???????can not think that i will have some reason not found??????????????you are very good man and putting my hand on fire for this...but you from the other very selfish...i have said before that i have enough problems and you the only thing to do is offend me all the time!!!!!!!i can not stand this...before i went to mon repo to walk and reflect..i asked why is this man doing this to me???i m very disappointed..i want to be my friend but my friends use to understand me and did not affect the earliest opportunity.!!!i ll keep the plant and i ll take care of it every single day because although u don t believe this i love u a lot like a human.but please i don t want to have anything to do with you because u have made me cry many times.that is not love...so,i hope u are always well and happy...u have to know that i loved u and i will pray for you...i ll never forget u.. Can someone help.....and give me some insight to this Thank you k Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Hi endemic, I've moved this so it gets the best responses. Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 My guess is you were overbearing/too needy/clingy and that pushed her away.. coupled with "Shes just not that into you"... You guys don't have a long detailed history, so suffice to say, it's much easier to forget and move on from someone you barely know. She's essentially saying she wants to be done with you, in the nicest way possible. I'd steer clear. Sorry dude. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 She is not interested in you. Leave her alone. Maybe you should look for ladies closer to your age? Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 She wants nothing to do with you. Somehow she feels very pressured and stressed out by you. Let her be and move on. Sorry Link to comment
FairyGodmother Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I don't really think it has much to do with the age, you just obviously came off as too pushy/clingy. Continuing to contact her incessantly really isn't going to rid her of that perception either, so I'd suggest not contacting her for a while (a month minimum) to let everything cool down, and then if you still want to pursue it do so in a friendly, infrequent manner. Who knows maybe if you slowly build a friendship it could be something more, but don't push it. Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I don't really think it has much to do with the age, you just obviously came off as too pushy/clingy. Continuing to contact her incessantly really isn't going to rid her of that perception either, so I'd suggest not contacting her for a while (a month minimum) to let everything cool down, and then if you still want to pursue it do so in a friendly, infrequent manner. Who knows maybe if you slowly build a friendship it could be something more, but don't push it. This is true in most instances. I've messed things up with a few chicks, and yet I'm always shocked at how if I just don't talk to them for a few months its like all is forgotten and things are cool. In the OP's case, she explicitly said "I want nothing to do with you" so I wouldn't even count on that working in this case, but you never know. Link to comment
ToF Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I don't mean to be harsh at all, but what insight are you looking for? She told you in no uncertain terms that she wants nothing to do with you, and that you were too pushy and excessive. I'd say take this as a learning experience for the next girl you meet. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 You start out by describing any time she did not spend with you as 'avoiding you'. That's suffocating. Most people don't enjoy constant contact and a push to explain themselves whenever they're off living their lives beyond your scope. She told you how this made her feel, but you persisted and she grew exhausted. Don't treat new dates as 'prey,' or you'll be 'avoided' a lot. Learn to respect appropriate boundaries--everyone has them. Link to comment
endemic Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Thank you for your replies. I originally put this post in the love avoidants section as I felt that there was alot of this going on from the start ... thats why I felt a constant distance from her. Thats why I am confused as even when I gave her time and space an sms was too much for her to answer! Where I come from we answer to people we care for. I might be wrong! Thank you Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 If she cared for you, she would answer. You've had girls you are not interested in right? She's just not interested in you. It's not love avoidance. It's no interest. Why don't you want to believe she is not interested? Link to comment
endemic Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 There have been girls yes that I was not interseted in but I always did come upfront with them - with this girl there was always something that was too much! When ever I did something to leave her be she kind of freaked out! Like when I did put up some status on facebook and getting comments from other girls - she freaked out and cancelled her profile! There were lots of actions she did that I can till today not understand..... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Either way, don't try to figure her out. It is not like you guys were in a relationship. Just move on bud. Link to comment
endemic Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 True that too....but it hurts feeling misunderstood no!? Especially when you are led on to something! Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.