what is it with guys ALWAYS having to tell you about their sex lives?

[im_the_undead]

when they are obviously into you and you are into them..........

i find that every guy i've ever dated has said something unnecessarily explicit to me about their past sex life. I don't do that, because I know that it makes a person feel sad, self-conscious, or uncomfortable when they fall in love with you or something.

So I asked the guy I'm dating "Why did you feel the need to share THAT, out of all things, with me? Want me to tell you all I've ever done?" And he quickly replied "NO."

It's bad enough to talk about an ex.... why bring up vivid descriptions of sex?

[Tingum611]

I agree with you. Honestly, some people are clueless and have no tact. It is not always guys either. Once, a girlfriend of mine proceeded to take part in a discussion with a guy friend of mine about a prior sexual experience that she had with someone else, while I and several other friends of mine were sitting at the same patio table. She was way too articulate about the experience, and I was grossed out and more than a little offended. I agree, it is in bad taste and you should definitely make it clear how you feel about it.

[jumper11]

AHA you are so right, luckily with this guy I take it pretty cool and he's so open in general it surprisingly doesn't bother me like I thought it would.. but yes I've heard some pretty explicit things and he's really open about his past.. He's okay with me being open about mine, but yes alot of guys are open yet don't want to hear about yours, which is what mostly makes it an issue, in my opinion..

 

I'm only okay with mine being open because it's not one-sided, and plus we just have a different relationship, two different languages.. lol..

 

But it's not fair for the guy to go on yet be offended if you were to do it.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I don't do this, but I've seen it happen enough times. And yes, it is tactless and women do it also. If you haven't had sex together yet, I've noticed two reasons. Either they are feeling you out to see whether you're prudish or enthusiastic about sex (prospecting), or they are trying to make themselves sound like a highly qualified sexual partner (usually they're not).

 

If you have had sex together already, it can be those things and more, from an offhanded way to get you to do something in bed, to a commitment phobe trying to push you away, with myriad mental issues in between.

 

And you know, some people are just simply boorish, or maybe they just finished a particularly bad PUA book. Whatever the reason, it's usually not a good sign.

[Confused28645]

A couple of years ago I started chatting to a guy on an online dating site and he felt the need to inform me that he had a high sex drive and he loved sex. Red flag straight away for me. We had barely begun chatting before he dropped that into the conversation. I really didnt see the need.

[Glowguy]

I agree with you 100%. Unless the person specifically asks for details it is very off putting. My ex crossed the line many times and I had to make it very clear to her that I did not want to hear details of her sexual exploits, so women absolutely do this too.

[misssmithviii]

Some people are perfectly fine with discussing past sexual encounters. But for my relationship, for me? Not really.

 

Details are to be left in the past, I do NOT need to know who she was, how you guys did it, where and with what... ugh. I find it to be useless information, really; whether with motives or not it just seems unnecessary to me.

 

In general, if he's doing something that bothers you, you should be able to express your feelings and him cease immediately - especially with something so simple as this. If he's not, I'd be pretty worried to be honest.

[testcase]

Yea it's not just guys it's people. I don't really talk about sex to my friends and I don't talk about my past encounters to whomever I'm seeing at the time. I actually usually don't talk about sex with the girl I'm seeing either until we've had it or when we're having it... and then it's just making sure we're on the same page, she's doing good all that stuff. I think talking about sex with someone you're dating before you've had sex is tacky. I got other topics to talk about to turn her on... then when the passion kicks in to overdrive and things head down the sex route it's usually unexpected and mind blowingly awesome!

[im_the_undead]

I don't do this, but I've seen it happen enough times. And yes, it is tactless and women do it also. If you haven't had sex together yet, I've noticed two reasons. Either they are feeling you out to see whether you're prudish or enthusiastic about sex (prospecting), or they are trying to make themselves sound like a highly qualified sexual partner (usually they're not).

 

If you have had sex together already, it can be those things and more, from an offhanded way to get you to do something in bed, to a commitment phobe trying to push you away, with myriad mental issues in between.

 

And you know, some people are just simply boorish, or maybe they just finished a particularly bad PUA book. Whatever the reason, it's usually not a good sign.

 

 

it's funny that you say that, because that's EXACTLY what i told him...

i asked him why he felt the need to be that open with me... if it was to impress me or to let me know that he'd "do me" THAT good or better, ect.

he said No.. that he has no idea why he said that, and claimed that guys don't think and usually just say stupid shiz. What sucks the most is that i used to be friends with this girl.. UGH! just like my past relationship, i knew exactly who the girl before me was, and it brought me down.....

 

either way, i feel like the damage is done. i'm grossed out! and i let him know, and we're in this weird place right now... which makes me sad he hasn't reached me all day